My son is almost 19, he was asked to come into the detectives office to give his side of a ligations that he forced his ex-girlfriend and her baby sister to have sex with him. At the time he was 15 the ex was 14 the sister 9 or 10. Only once did something happen with the younger girl, however he and his girlfriend were active. No charges have been filled yet and he did not tell the detective anything. What do we do and what could happen to him?

First thing I would do is get a good lawyer.

only once did something happen with the younger girl

Am I to understand that he molested the 9 year old?

You seem to calmly say, he only once did anything with the younger girl,

He needs an attorney and yes, most likely he will be charged with rape and stands a very very good chance of going to prison for a long time.

Have his attorney contact the DA as soon as possible to work something out. He will most probably be charged and be sent to prison. His crime is serious.

Am I to understand that he molested the 9 year old?

According to him she all but stripped in his face. Please you guys don't get me wrong I understand how gruesome this was and I had no idea that this had occurred or that the mother was allowing them to get drunk among many things. I suppose that I am grasping at straws here! I didn't ask for a judgment just help! No one ever thinks things like this could happen in there families.

Have his attorney contact the DA as soon as possible to work something out. He will most probably be charged and be sent to prison. His crime is serious.

Even though he was 15?

[QUOTE=Fr_Chuck;1376008]You seem to calmly say, he only once did anything with the younger girl,

Not calmly! It happened. Now what? What do I as his mother do? Stand back and let him go to prison? I knew these girls and they are not as innocent as that! Neither is my son! I;m not trying to say he is, but any attorney will tell you that our system has a lot of innocent boys in jail. So do not judge me!!

Have his attorney contact the DA as soon as possible to work something out. He will most probably be charged and be sent to prison. His crime is serious.

How could we get a state appointed lawyer? Any criminal lawyer wants a $2500 retainer. And will a state app. Be as good?

He can be arrested, and yes, he can go to jail. This is molestation. If he was drunk and an adult provided that alcohol, then that adult will also be in trouble, but your son still knowingly molested a 9 year old child.

Get a good lawyer, that really is your only hope, and get your son some help, something made him do this, it's time to put a stop to it, otherwise it will likely happen again.

Good luck, I do feel for you, I can't imagine what you, as a mother, are going through. You can still love your son, but accept that he did something wrong and should pay for it. If you were the mother of the 9 year old girl, your story would be very different.

Even though he was 15?


Yes, because the victim was 9.

You have to look at this situation from an outsiders perspective, not as the mother of that 15 year old boy.

Really, I can't say it enough, get a good lawyer and therapy for your son.

[QUOTE=Fr_Chuck;1376008]You seem to calmly say, he only once did anything with the younger girl,

Not calmly!! It happened. Now what? What do I as his mother do? Stand back and let him go to prison?? I knew these girls and they are not as innocent as that! Neither is my son! I;m not trying to say he is, but any attorney will tell you that our system has a lot of innocent boys in jail. So do not judge me!!!



One of the girls was 9 years old! Well, to begin with he's not innocent, being sentenced to prison. He confessed so there goes that argument.

Unfortunately the 9 year old is no longer innocent, either. Your son took her innocence.

You could start by making him take responsibility for his actions and not making excuses for him - such as he was drinking, she stripped, it was "only one time," whatever else you've come up with to minimize his involvement.

Get the best criminal Attorney you can afford and be prepared to have your son labeled a sex offender with all the bells and whistles that come with that.

Perhaps hire him a old drunk attorney and let him rot in jail, sorry this is a sex offender of the worst type in my book, but at least in prison he will learn his lesson for sure.

I am sorry to hear about your situation, I can only imagine what you area going through.

First of all a public defender or state appointed lawyer is not going to be as good as a privately hired one. Contact the bar association for a recommendation of a good sexual crimes lawyer. I understand that 2500 is a lot of money, but it is best to pay for a private lawyer.

Second of all you are blessed that he is being honest with you, many parents are lied to by their children about things like this all the time.

One good thing you have going for you, is only about 8 percent of rape or molestation charges actually end up in convictions. This was four years ago, and remember the way the foundations of our country work you are innocent until proven guilty. Without physical evidence (which after four years is impossible) and no video tape or hard evidence this happened chances are he will not end up in jail. That does not mean the DA will not request a polygraph or take this case to trial. Like I said before get a lawyer.

Hi, kidsbme3!

Something else proactive that you might do on your sons' behalf, in addition to what's already been suggested, is to get your son into treatment before the court orders him to do that and also have him professionally evaluated by a qualified therapist and provide documentation to the court as to these things being done as well as the documented results of the evaluation.

The treatment could involve attending sessions on a one-on-one basis with a counselor in addition to being in group therapy.

Doing those things before the court orders him to do them, might be helpful to both you and your son.

Thanks!

I am sorry to hear about your situation, I can only imagine what you area going through.

First of all a public defender or state appointed lawyer is not going to be as good as a privately hired one. Contact the bar association for a recomendation of a good sexual crimes lawyer. I understand that 2500 is alot of money, but it is best to pay for a private lawyer.

Second of all you are blessed that he is being honest with you, many parents are lied to by their children about things like this all the time.

One good thing you have going for you, is only about 8 percent of rape or molestation charges actually end up in convictions. This was four years ago, and remember the way the foundations of our country work you are innocent until proven guilty. Without physical evidence (which after four years is impossible) and no video tape or hard evidence this happened chances are he will not end up in jail. That does not mean the DA will not request a polygraph or take this case to trial. Like I said before get a lawyer.


Would you back up your statements with some sites or where you got the statistics - I am particularly interested in skills of the public vs private attorney and the 8% rape/molestation conviction rate. Are you talking nationally or in a specific State?

As far as being honest with the mother - the son has all sorts of excuses. The younger girl stripped, he was drinking, it "only" happened once. It's the "Yes, but I have a good reason ..." defense.

Yes, I feel sorry for the mother but I feel worse for the young child.

At any rate, I'd like to see your sources of your statements.

What is the point of a polygraph here? The boy confessed - polygraphs are good TV but not useful for much else. In fact, they are not even admissible in many Courts.

How could we get a state appointed lawyer? Any criminal lawyer wants a $2500 retainer. And will a state app. be as good?

You are facing a very real possibility of not seeing your son again for DECADES and you are asking about retainers? Yes, its going to be very expensive and you can only get a state appointed lawyer if you qualify.

If I were you I would start saving my money, come to grips with what will likely be a very long, expensive and painful process and thank your lucky stars that that little girl's father has more self restraint that I would, were that my daughter.

If you want some more light reading, Google Jessica's Law or your states version of it.

. If you were the mother of the 9 year old girl, your story would be very different.[/QUOTE]

I was 14 and he was 23, so I do understand the other side as well. Thank you for your help.

. If you were the mother of the 9 year old girl, your story would be very different.

I was 14 and he was 23, so I do understand the other side as well. Thank you for your help.[/QUOTE]



You were 14? He was 23? What? I thought we were talking about your son at 15 and a girl at 9.

Perhaps hire him a old drunk attorney and let him rot in jail, sorry this is a sex offender of the worst type in my book, but at least in prison he will learn his lesson for sure.

Thanks so much for your CHRISTIAN support!

I was 14 and he was 23, so I do understand the other side as well. Thank you for your help.



You were 14? He was 23? What? I thought we were talking about your son at 15 and a girl at 9.[/QUOTE]

I was molested. As a child as well, and do understand the other side of the coin.

I was 5 when I was molested by my 12 year old cousin.

OP, you said that you were molested at the age of 14, so can't you understand the perspective of the 9 year old in this case?

I know he's your son, I know you want to protect him, but the man that molested you was someone's son as well. Did you report him? If so, did he pay for his crime? Do you think that what he did to you is okay and that he shouldn't be punished?

Yes, he's your son, he'll always be your son, but you also have to realize that he's a molester. You can still love him, but you do have to accept that he did something bad and he should pay for it.

Being molested changes your entire life, I know that side of the coin as well. If you son gets away with this, who's to say he won't do it again. You can't be certain he won't. Do you want him molesting another innocent child?