openpetal
Nov 11, 2008, 09:59 PM
Hello,
I don't know what's happening to me. I find myself thinking about my husband and the state he is in at this moment. After my anger cooled down, I began to cry over the loss. My husband is being held at Riker's Island. The incident is wearing off and now I am feeling sadness, loneliness for my husband. A few days ago, I prayed he stayed in jail for a year or so and now I am feeling irritable, sad and heartbroken over the fact that I lost my husband physically and mentally. (And deep in my heart, I know he is weeping over me). I guess its too late to make up since the judge and DA has an order of protection for him to stay away from me. I keep replaying the good times in my head and find it difficult to completely let go.
My family is very supportive of me and I don't want to disappoint them nor myself. I am really trying to stay strong in this situation and resist the urge to go visit him or bring him clothes for commensary.
(On the good note, I got the car in my name and insurance and am back on my feet. I had to let go of the baby. I do have peace but at the same time I am worrying about how he is feeling in there. ) Sigh, perhaps I am caring too much and forgiving too soon. Is what I am feeling normal? I know I will definitely see a counselor this Thursday before I turn out crazy. Lol. Thanks for your feedback.
All the best,
Openpetal.
I don't know what's happening to me. I find myself thinking about my husband and the state he is in at this moment. After my anger cooled down, I began to cry over the loss. My husband is being held at Riker's Island. The incident is wearing off and now I am feeling sadness, loneliness for my husband. A few days ago, I prayed he stayed in jail for a year or so and now I am feeling irritable, sad and heartbroken over the fact that I lost my husband physically and mentally. (And deep in my heart, I know he is weeping over me). I guess its too late to make up since the judge and DA has an order of protection for him to stay away from me. I keep replaying the good times in my head and find it difficult to completely let go.
My family is very supportive of me and I don't want to disappoint them nor myself. I am really trying to stay strong in this situation and resist the urge to go visit him or bring him clothes for commensary.
(On the good note, I got the car in my name and insurance and am back on my feet. I had to let go of the baby. I do have peace but at the same time I am worrying about how he is feeling in there. ) Sigh, perhaps I am caring too much and forgiving too soon. Is what I am feeling normal? I know I will definitely see a counselor this Thursday before I turn out crazy. Lol. Thanks for your feedback.
All the best,
Openpetal.