I really love my ex and I don't know if he will give me another chance. I need really good advise on this so if someone please could help me thank you. I asked him out and he's thinking about it he said he likes me. He put this screenname as "steph ur sexi 4 life too" because I put it first and when I asked him how many stephs do you no he said ummm you and this other one I said which one is in your screenanme and he said the other one :confused: I said why did you put that 4 he said cause she put it first. It was just so strange! Is he playing hard to get with me? Or just afraid to show this true feelings? What do I do if he says no? Thank you 4 your help...

Why is he your he ex?
Why did you initially break up?
Who broke up with who and why?
How long where you together?
And how old are you both?

Why is he your he ex?
why did you initally break up?
who broke up with who and why?
how long where you together?
and how old are you both?

Well he's my ex because I dated him 4 times on and off.
We didn't really talk much.
I broke up with him because we hardly talked.
Well it was on and off all times so I don't know but we haven't been out 4 ages now but now I want him bk.:(
I'm 16 and he is 15

Ok then. So do you think that if you had to get back together now you would talk much?
I admire that thou for a person you're age, because communication is the key to a relationship...
No talk... no relationship!

Do u believe he is worth you trying to get him back?

Yea my because who is his best mate told me he will talk to me loads.
Everyone in my family says he fancies me my brother says he loves me its obvivous well how I the world does he no that? Yea I really want him bk I don't want no one else. I just hope he says yes now but I think I'm kind of getting obsessed with him and that happened in my other relationship because I missed him I even had sex with that guy as well and he dumped me like 4 days after cause he said I was too obsessed I don't want that to happened with james(who is the guy I want to get bk).

The best advice I can give you :- is to be straight upfront with James, just be confident and ask him out.
Do like a trial test run for a few weeks when you two are going out and see whether the relationship turned out positive as you expected it to be (but obviously don't tell him this).

Never obsess about someone, let them obsess about you, let there be an air of curiousity and imagination about you always let a boy feel intriged to get to know you.

Like you said you had sex with another guy and he dumped you after 4 days? He said because you obsessed while I believe he dumped you because you gave him sex and that's all he wanted. You see my point!

Let boys be curious about you, if you give them the cake and they can eat it all within a few days then they are obviously going to want something new, get rid of the old and in with the new... you get my point!

I think so thank you. Yea he broke up with me 4 days after cause I kept telling him I loved him he said he don't fall in love straight away. I was going out with him only a week though maybe I was being obsessed! That guy now though he has a girlfriend and I think his jealous about me and james cause I told him that I was going out with james but I isn't just told him a lie and he keeps tlking to me a lot and like asking are you still going out with james and I'm like yea course but I isn't. I'm not going to tell him I'm not gog out with james cause I like him being jealous lol. I really want james though I would do anything to get him. Also james and me was tlking on msn about sex and he said you come to mine lol I said shut up and he said no seriuosly I was like okkk but I don't want him 4 just sex I want him to love me like he did before he used to love me loads and send me sweet txtes and emails and wasn't afriad to tell everyone we were going out. I casn tlk to him on msn or by text or email but hard to tlk to him inp poerson but I have a feeling it would work this time. Only if he says yes he will go out with me. I wish I neva dumped him though I didn't even give him a chance aybe now I left skool all together it will be easlier like I could meet him after skool or go on dates probably. Would be nice if I was going bk out with him.

You see... James is already asking for sex and you are not yet together... I wouldn't give him sex for months if you do go out... see what are the real reasons he is with you!!

Love is NOT in any equastion here.. this is lust dear and you are obviously getting it confused with love but its normal for girls you're age!

But I love him and I can tell he likes me. I did say to him I don't want sex well not yuet until like I can trust him and he can learn to love me. I don't know what to do.

But how can u love someone and sleep with someone else?

Are you sure this is love?

And what did he reply when you said about not wanting sex until he learns to love you?

but how can u love someone and sleep with someone else??

are you sure this is love??

and what did he reply when you said about not wantin sex until he learns to love you?

Well I slept with that guy about 3 weeks ago and now love james I don't love the other guy anymore plus his moving to wales soon.
But james I don't know I just fall I love with him and his so sweet and loving and caring and funny I like a guy who can make me laugh.
I'm sure its love I neva used to love him before just fancy but I don't know I realized I was wrong 4 dumping him just 4 not tlking cause we could have worked that out or gave him a chance but I didn't and then as well he loved me loads and I blow it that was so harsh.
Well nothing really he didn't answered that I don't think.
Y do all guys want sex 4? :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Boys - men are dogs on heat and we need to control them.
Never let them control us ;)
Be wise.

R there guys in the world that don't want us 4 sex?
I bet there hard to find
I did have a boyfriend once who was so lovely lasted 2 yrs and we neva had sex lol it was so cool he really treated me well and loved me 4 who I was.
Anyway james what do you think I should do. What if he says yes and what if he says no?

You had a boyfriend for 2 years... and you didn't have sex, and you said it was sweet. He loved you for who you were, he respected you, you see! You are so young there is no rush to rush into things.

Yes are there are guys like that, guys respect girls who respect themselves.
Im married, been married for 2 years and been together in total of 8 years. I was 19 when I meet him. We didn't have sex for our first 4 months and you know what he tells me.. he respected me so much for that, because he then realised what kind of a girl I was, and he was intriged by that. When you give men what they want immediately i.e sex - there not interested. You learn this with experience.

Re: James.. just ask him out again, be confident.
If he says yes than great, and be cool and don't jump into bed with him immediately, play it cool, let him wait ;)
And he is ever dumps you for not having sex.. then let him dump you because that would prove what a total loser he is.
If he says no.. Then you know where you stand and move on.

Kl thank you wow your married what's that like lol if you don't mind me asking.
My mum and dad neva kiss in front of me, my brother and sis lol. You got children? So your about 27? I'm 16 lol thanks for the advise!! I no that was my first boyfriend the one who I didn't have sex with, yea loved me 4 who I was and I was only 9 yrs old and then we went bkj out in yr 7, 8, 9 and evn 10 lol been like on and off. Short realtionships then. He didn't even ask me if I wanted sex which was fab! Even when I was 14 he neva. He has a girlfriend now then his been out with her for 1 yr and a half I got ova it moved on. I don't know if I could move on with james cause I don't like no one else :(

You are so young, you got a full life ahead of you.. what's the rush.
Sometimes when I think I was ONLY 19 when I meet my future husband.. even I say to myself... god I was so young! Thou back then I didn't realise this. I would never take any of it back as he is the best thing that happened to me.

Marriage is great, but only if you make it great.
Relationships are hard work, its not an easy ride.
You have to keep at it or else it could go down hill. I mean my hubby and I still go out at wkends and we like to get drunk and be silly together :)

Lol sounds like fun. I guess plp are always young and need to have fun I mean what's life without fun ent it. Well thanks 4 your help I will keep in touch cause your good :) thank you 4 all your help. I got to go now byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Anytime sweety
Take care and keep me posted
X

I wish I neva dumped him though I didn't even give him a chance aybe now I left skool all together it will be easlier like I could meet him after skool or go on dates probably. Would be nice if I was going bk out with him.

I strongly suggest you concentrate on your education and leave the boys alone until you are mature enough to know the difference between love and lust. Your obsesion with James is keeping you from doing the important things in life and will only lead to heartache as long as you put him before yourself and your future. Please talk to an adult that you trust(parents?) Good luck!

well I slept with the someone else 3 weeks ago and only just started loving james I don't know y but I do no I love him and missed my chance on him.
I'm very very sure I love him soooooooooooooooooooooo much, I need him I want him so much.
well he neva really said anything.
have you got any more advise please.

well I don't know he's still in skool I'm not I left finally now finshed my gsces and everything. I do really love james and hopefully he does say yes. I don't trust my parents lol, I don't tell them anything like when I had sex I neva told them it was my first time and I am 16 so.. I'm not going to tell them and not going to tell them nothing about james cause they no him because he is my cousins best mate and its really werid lol. I no I love james. Thanks 4 your advise x x x

I must admit I agree with talaniman.
He said very points. You are only 16 girl don't start to obsess about sex and boys at such a young age, you have a full life ahead of you. Don't try to grow up faster than its standard process because you will really regret it.
Don't let boys use you.

I no yea I won't let them use me. I no james would neva use me I wish he could love me loads like he did before but I guess he thought I was just using him or something. I hope he gives me a chance and I am NOT going to have sex with him, I'm not going to give him what he wants. I just want someone who loves me and cares for me. Thanks for the advise and comments :)

Just be careful..
You said james would never use you.. then you said you would never give him what he wants.. abit contraversial

Yea like if he wanted *** then I wouldn't give it him and if he brakes up with me(not saying he would) but I would no why ent it. Better to be safe then sorry. If he brakes up with me that **** him, but I no james I don't think he would use me or anything like that. I just want it to work out.

Is there a reason you left school?

Yea because I'm in yr 11 well not no more but finshed skool 4eva yay lol but james is still in yr 10 well yr 11 in September.

In europe age to finish school is usually 16.

Yeaw I am 16 lol

I'm 52 and still in "school" There is still a lot to learn about life out here and if you want to feed yourself you'd better start learning to take care of yourself and please say you use some form of because (birth control) because a high school education is barely enough to feed two (3) . Not to be judgemental at all its just I can't help but be protective toward a 16 year old who may not see what I see. Now You know what my daughter(and son) went through at your age, and just curious about your parents. Do you talk?

What you mean do I talk of course I tlk or do you mean to my paretns no I don't cause I haven't told them I had sex with this guy they wouldn't undertand I am 16 and I do look after myself my parents don't trust me so why trust them.

Hi,
You "love him"? After 4 dates?
I have been married now for 29 yrs, and love takes awhile... like to get to know someone, trust, caring, compromise, and wanting them to be happy.
What you are going through is called "dating"...
I would talk with him, ask him if you want to be g/f and b/f, and not see anyone else. If he didn't talk with you very much in the first place, then he probably will look around some more.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

lol no I meant like I have been out with him 4 times like off and on don't know how long I went out with him them 4 times, I have known him since year 8 which is 3 years cause I finshed yr 11 now, got no skool no more.what you mean look around more? :S thanks 4 adivse :)

anyone got more advise on how to get my ex boyfriend back I need loads of different advise please thank you x

its just that I said to him "i need to know an answer soon" cause he keeps thinking about going out with me or not and then I also say "cause my other ex wants to go out with me so i need to give him an answer" and he gets jealous he says "no no i will give you an answer i'll think about it" how long does he need to think and how long should I give him, I think he is afriad he will lose me to another guy or something or lose me 4eva. I said "your gonna say no tho" he said "you dnt no that" if he says no I will be so depressed 4 life if he says yes I would be so happy real happy like when I got together with my other ex and it was so wicked rushed that so fast cause on the first day he asked me out to my face I said yes (imagined if I said no lol) and we kissed ad hugged and he pressed me up the wall kissing me and feeling me all over and nxt day we were going to do it we were on the floor but we neva cause his dad came in and then the nxt day I had sex with him I was a virigin until I met him and he said do you trust me I said yea and he said I would be alrite and he was rite and neva hurt much just few times. He was so gentle with me it was nice. ---but I don't want that with james which is the guy I want now I don't want LL THAT to happen to fast and rush into anything like that again, I don't regret all it with the other guy but I just don't want that to happen to me and james to fast you no, cause there's nothing to look forward to and all. So what's your advise?

When sex gets involved all different emtions arise!

But I don't want it to be too soon you know

Do you not have better things in life to worry about instead of sex and boys?

Such as hanging out with girlie friends, shopping, movies etc?

Well not really no I love guys but I don't know y :(

You 16 yrs old dear, just a kid.
If you don't be careful you could get yourself in serious trouble.

I have once but it really don't bother me

Love is a big thing for me

You have once what?

Been in trouble like I went out with this guy and his ex found out and when mad at me and all her mates were going to btter me but they neva they hugged me instead cause I cried lol

DEAR I'm not talking about that kind of trouble.
You are not mature enough to deal with issues that you think you can deal with.
Maturity comes with experience.

Stop obsessing about boys and sex and concentrate on growing up you have a lot of growing up to do after al you are ONLY 16.
Learn to deal with it.

Did your parents ever talk to you about boys and consequences of sex, and protection and STD's?

Yea they think I'm obsessed with guys, but they don't mind aslongs I don't do ntohing stupid. They don't trust me after when I went to aarons and had sex with him and didn't tell my parents.

If you are not prepared to help yourself then no one else can help you!

OMG she's only 16? OMG your only 16?

I think its time for you to think long and hard and, take a chill pill miss candybaby. I think you need to see that, unfortunately, if someone doesn't like you back, all in all, it IS better to move on because you are decressing your chances of actually finding someone who will love you back. And that's what you want at the end of the day.

I don't want you self harming either, like you hinted at in the other thread, because it's a pathetic way to get attention, or to relive stress, however tempting it may be.

Its important to be truthfull to yourself, and have yourself sorted out, mentally and emotionally, before you start to imvolve yourself with others. Other wise, it just gets in a big mess. But a solvable one.

OK thanks I think but I'm still going to go after that guy I really like him and I just want to be happy, his thinking about it and he did tell me he likes me and ages ago last yr he told me he loved me loads does that mean he didn't really love me? My because said I was all he tlks about and is crazy about me and we kissed and everything didn't go farer. I thought oyu meant to give advise because yous are making me feel worse :(

Seems like you want advice that suits your ears only. Here at AMHD we give outspoken and honest advice not advice that just suits the person.

I never said that but you are just making me feel worse I want different advise, that can help!! From different people!!

Yea but we all have different lifes, dating at 16 don't everyone do it? If james dumps me then so what its no big deal but if we did go out I think we would make it work and I only want a chance because I was so mean dumping him before image how he felt, I said to him yesterday "why did you stop liking me?" and he said "dunno" I asked him if it was because I dumped him and he said yea probz I felt so sorry but now his thinking about it, so just have to wait and see.

More advise none of it helps me, I'm going to do what I want to do not what other people want me to do

more advise none of it helps me, i'm gonna do what i want to do not what other people want me to do

So why come here to ask for it... :rolleyes:

Precisely my point. :cool: :cool:
You actually got advice from 4 people including me.
That advice from us 4 was good advice now that proves my point right - you didn't like the advice because its not what you wanted to hear.

Actually I don't care what I here, cause you don't even know me or james or anyone you don't even know the whole story you do't even know james, I think your trying to make people feel wrong or something like that. I wanted to advise yea but not that sort

more advise none of it helps me, I'm going to do what I want to do not what other people want me to do
I wish I was YOUR DAD and could tell you that everything will be all right and then make you get a job or continue with your education or technical school! Once you except the fact you don't know everything and people are only trying to help, your life will improve. Until then we can only stand by with a band-aid and let you run head first into a brick wall

I was even going to give some advice but after reading all of this I can't be bothered to waste my time...
Talaniman well said :)

Cheeky talaniman I don't want a job yet cause I'm going six form in sept so shut up and who said my life was bad anyway I never said that I just said I want my boyfruiend bk my life is wicked thank you you don;'t even know me or what my life is like.

actually i don't care what i here, cause you don't even know me or james or anyone you don't even know the whole story you do't even know james, i think your trying to make people feel wrong or something like that. i wanted to advise yea but not that sort

Well tell me what you want to hear?

Well the truth on what to do would be nice and y can't I give him a chance, it was me who dumped him 4 no reason and he got upset his still upset now :(

The best advice i can give you :- is to be straight upfront with James, just be confident and ask him out.
Do like a trial test run for a few weeks when you two are going out and see whether the relationship turned out positive as you expected it to be (but obviously dont tell him this).

Never obsess about someone, let them obsess about you, let there be an air of curiousity and imagination about you always let a boy feel intriged to get to know you.

Like you said you had sex with another guy and he dumped you after 4 days? He said because you obsessed while i believe he dumped you because you gave him sex and thats all he wanted. You see my point!

Let boys be curious about you, if you give them the cake and they can eat it all within a few days then they are obviously going to want something new, get rid of the old and in with the new... you get my point!?

What's this then.

I was going to say something similar.


OMG shes only 16?! OMG your only 16?!

I think its time for you to think long and hard and, take a chill pill miss candybaby. I think you need to see that, unfortunatly, if someone doesnt like you back, all in all, it IS better to move on because you are decressing your chances of actually finding someone who will love you back. And thats what you want at the end of the day.

I dont want you self harming either, like you hinted at in the other thread, becuse its a pathetic way to get attention, or to relive stress, however tempting it may be.

Its important to be truthfull to your self, and have your self sorted out, mentally and emotionally, before you start to imvolve your self with others. Other wise, it just gets in a big mess. But a solvable one.

Even this one is good!


well the truth on what to do would be nice and y can't i give him a chance, it was me who dumped him 4 no reason and he got upset his still upset now :(

If you read through your posts correctly, clearly no one said don't give this james a chance.
A few advices said to just ask him out so you know where you stand.
So what is the problem?? :rolleyes: :cool:

You said you dumped him because he didn't talk no communication, so there was a reason for you dumping, right? :rolleyes:

Patch things up and just out him - or are you scared?

Seems to me you want him to give you a another chance, and if your attitude here is any indication he will always be upset with you. Calm down and be nice

I know, we arnt living your life, and actuially all off the advice given on here should is generalised, etc. So yes, you shouldn't just do what people tell you, but, we are in the unique position of just going by what you tell us, and if you tell us the important points, we could actually be of great use, because we arnt emotionally attached.

So, don't take it all as 100% right, and when you dissagree, that's BADD...

Just, maybe listen candybaby, because we could give you some things which help you when you make up your own mind, and could be useful to you in the long run :)

Hope all is going well still.

Well his still thinking about it, he did say he likes me and he said the reason why he is thinking about it is maybe cause I dumped him and I think his afriad I will so it again you know. Cause he is thinking about it, I mean I cnt wait 4eva been waiting 4 about a week now. How long should have give him until I give up on him? Or do you think I should wait 4 eva until he gves me a answer 4 crying out loud lol.

I think you should stop waiting and go about your own business Let him come to you.

Wait forever for him to give you an answer? Why waist your time on someone who clearly doesn't want to get back with you?

I think, you should chill, and be friends, see what happens, if it gets better on that level, then you have a good foundation to build on, it doesn't really seem as if your very good friends with the guy, you just want him as your boyfriend.

Edit * hmm... actually, if he's taking time, he may seriously be thinking about it, I think you should just wait, ask him to come to a conclusion by the end of the week, if he can't do it in a week, he can't really do it, then PLEASE PLEASE, get on with your life*

Yea I thought should wait for abpout a week because it gives him time and I don't wnna wait 4eva, I'm not at skool no more, finshed high skool and everything that's probably why I keep thinking about him cause got nothing else to do. I'm going six form or get a job in sept but I might be with him then or get another boyfriend. Thanks for you help people!!

yea i thought should wait for abpout a week because it gives him time and i dnt wnna wait 4eva, i'm not at skool no more, finshed high skool and everything thats probably why i keep thinking about him cause got nothing else to do. i'm going six form or get a job in sept but i might be with him then or get another boyfriend. thanks for ya help people!!!

How long have u been waiting?

About a week probably

How's things girlie?

After school, don't loose yourself trying to 'partner up' with anyone. There is a whole world out there for you to discover. You'll find new exciting things to do and see.. Try a hobby or check out a museum and get interested in things that you might want to learn more about.

Now is a good time to get to know yourself better without the influence of school mates or boyfriends - just going out and being with friends and learning about new interests is a good thing.

Enjoy you youth, there is enough time later to compromise yourself for someone else - just do 'your thing' for a while.

Good luck, and Have FUN, FUN, FUN.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_17_211.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm801YYDE)School's Out! But you never stop learning.

hows things girlie?

Well I have no idea haven't heard from the guy for ages think his still thinking about it still but you know what forget him I like being single anyway and talking g and flirting he missed his chance :)

Yea and having fun lol thanks :)