Hi dear, I have been married for 3 years. My husband loves me so much. We had a daughter and another one is due in 4 months. My family and my husband had problems since beging. My family made me cry manytimes and my husband was allway there for me. I am british and I have been living with my husband in Canada. Few months ago I found out that my father is sick and he is dying of cancer so I wanted to see him, that's why I cried many times and we had arrguments because my husband hates my family. On 23 of oct 2008 I was upset and I was asking my husband that if I can go see my father but he said no, they are nobody to us. I made him angry by crying, he can't see me crying so he pass his cell phone to me so I can call my father but by accident the phone hit my face. After that my husband got more angry because he came from work and he can't sit in peace. I was worried for my dad and also pregnant and I made him more angry so he did hold my arms, hold my face to wall and he told me stop it or I will beat you up. Then next day he went to work. I was so scared, worried about my dad and I don't know what I was thinking I called police and told them everything. Police charged him assult with weapon, assult and thretening. We love each other and we have new baby coming, I would like to know how those charges can be droped, how can it be over quick. Please help us.:(thank you

Hello n:

People who hit don't stop. I wouldn't drop the charges. I'd go back to England to visit your sick Dad, and I'd STAY there.

excon

First you don't need his permission or his blessing to go see your dying dad. Grow up and be independent to a point.

And I am sorry your family did him wrong, but that does not mean you can't visit,

He is acting childish,

To your legal issue, no you can not drop charges, once they are done, it will be up to the government,
This is because most abuse women try to make excuses for a husband that is physcially abusive the next day, so

I believe that is correct, at least in the us - domestic violence charges are not dropped. He may get into some kind of program, but men who are abusive do NOT stop, they only get worse.

If you want to subject yourself to that, fine - but this is a terrible environment for your children to be in. Abusers often learn this behaviour from their parents - is that what you want your child to grow up believing is right? No, you don't.

Also, you are putting your children at risk. If he will hit you, then chances are one day he'll hit your kids.

It sounds to me like he's got serious control issues. I kind of agree - I would put your foot down, tell him you're going to see your father (if you don't you'll never forgive yourself), and take the child and start over.

It's the hardest thing to ever ask anyone to do - but you need to do this for your children. Don't let them grow up with this man. Ask your parents for a loan to get a flight over if you don't think you can stand up to him, and just GO.

A man who will hit you can love you, but doesn't respect you - do you deserve better than just 'being his property'? You do.

If you need help, PM me, ill help you however I can. There are tons of resources for battered women (thats you!) and help is available.