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famousdork1
Nov 10, 2008, 06:11 PM
okay, so me and my boyfriend have been broken up for about 4 days now. And things are really akward, we don't talk anymore or anything. I mean, in the hallway we take a quick glance at each other and everythingg, but that's all. I feel like me and him are fading away. I broke up with him first, because of something he did. I strongly disliked him for a short time, but now I want us too be friends. He won't answer my phone calls, text me back or anythingg. What should I do? I'm so confused.:(

TexasParent
Nov 10, 2008, 06:32 PM
Seems to me you should have thought it through before you said something. Well, no you just have to live with the consquences of your actions.

Also, I think you are trying to control things too much. Why don't you just wait and see what happens? Leave it in God's or fate's hands. All you can to now is to continue to be friendly if you feel you made a mistake and if you appear that wonderful to him again and he wants to spend time with you again, he will let you know.

All you can do is be you, and if he likes that then you have a chance. If however he no longer likes you for whatever reason, it doesn't matter if you like him. Let it go. Also, you sound way too desperate; all those phone calls and texting and you were the one who broke up with him. The boy is confused and probably doesn't want any more of drama.

You made your decision, now it's time to live with it. Sorry to be harsh, but you need to start taking responsibility for your actions.

famousdork1
Nov 10, 2008, 07:43 PM
It's fine, i understand. I thought it would be diffrent though. I thought me and him would at least become friends. Me and him have bee friends for 5 years, and non of this has happend before, weve dated like .... 3 times already and we always became friends in an instant. I thought it would be the same this time.
I guess it is my fault, I was the one that broke up with him in the first place :/

jrsg
Nov 10, 2008, 07:59 PM
Things are always awkward between people after a break up. Things are just about back to normal with my ex now, and its been a few months. I would just give it time. Days, weeks, months, who knows? But I would put money on it that you are going to be friends again, eventually.

Good luck,
And good for you, for taking responsibility for your actions. Looks like you've learned something out of all of this :).

TexasParent
Nov 10, 2008, 10:07 PM
It's fine, i understand. I thought it would be diffrent though. I thought me and him would at least become friends. Me and him have bee friends for 5 years, and non of this has happend before, weve dated like .... 3 times already and we always became friends in an instant. I thought it would be the same this time.
I guess it is my fault, I was the one that broke up with him in the first place :/

Did occur to you that you've hurt him? Maybe once too often if you've broken up with him before? How do you feel when you've been hurt?

He's probably avoiding you know because he knows if you become friends again, you'll hurt him again. He's finally doing what is best for him; and good for him, I wouldn't keep volunteering for a friendship with you if you kept breaking up with me.

I mean, you break up but you want to be friends, what do you lose; nothing. Because you can control the situation, you get to fulfill your emotional needs if you remain friends, but by breaking up you are saying no to what he needs from you.

Seems you try to control your relationships too much, and it's all about you. No wonder he's not coming back this time.

Ferghus
Nov 10, 2008, 10:19 PM
okay, so me and my boyfriend have been broken up for about 4 days now. And things are really akward, we don't talk anymore or anything. I mean, in the hallway we take a quick glance at each other and everythingg, but that's all. I feel like me and him are fading away. I broke up with him first, because of something he did. I strongly disliked him for a short time, but now I want us too be friends. He won't answer my phone calls, text me back or anythingg. What should I do? I'm so confused.:(
Give it some time. Be nice in the mean time. Depending on how close you were and how much you like each other... it may take a few weeks, months... till you will know if you can patch it up or not.

SimpleguyJoe
Nov 11, 2008, 03:58 AM
Texas got it right on, he is not coming back because of past events. He does not want to keep opening himself up to abuse (That may or may not be his fault). Things will not always be the same and after afew breakups can you honestly blame him? I think you have to evaluate what his friendship really means to you.

What I'm saying is choose, this guy as a friend and ONLY a friend or just leave him alone because what you guys have been doing is obviously not working and ruining what chances for a friendship you do / did have.

Give things some time and keep your distance if he wants to pursue a friendship he will make contact and reach out to you.