fadinglight
Nov 10, 2008, 05:04 AM
I have been dating this boy for about 11 months. A week or two before our one year, we decided that we needed a temporary break. He had liked another girl and I had liked another boy. We were still both in high school. Well, it didn't last long and we got back together I believe that same night. I was slightly distanced and hurt afterwards and he was perfectly fine. I explained why I was like that and he just accepted it. A day or two later I was back to my old self and held his hand at lunch, but he didn't hold it back. After school, he told me he was leaving me. I was devastated. I told him to come by my house after I was home. He stopped by and I gave him the stuff he had give me back: A necklace that he had given me the first month and I always wore it, A cd from valentine's day, Notes I had kept, and his picture.
We still hung out afterward, but I would wind up staring and a few times he'd stare back. He had given me back the necklace and the cd over time...
On our one year, I asked him to a movie with another friend (girl) of mine. He came and he sat next to me. Halfway through Nick and Norah, he turned and looked at me and said I was beautiful. I just about started crying and told him he shouldn't say that. He turned back to the movie. A few minutes later he turned and said he missed me and still loved me. Needless to say, we got back together. We texted and he said he wasn't leaving and that he didn't want me, he needed me.
The following night he thought about leaving because he finally realized how much he had hurt me. He asked me why I loved him so, and so I told him. Things like I really do love his eyes, how he holds me, says he loves me. Lots of things. He said all right... that he just needed to know. That he wasn't going anywhere. A night or two later, he stopped by after work and we talked. He said he didn't know if he loved me anymore, and if he did he thought it was a sisterly love. He said he didn't want to leave but he had to. He had changed. He started drinking and had tried pot, picked fights with other people, and was overall just different.
I was crushed but I said, couldn't we at least try to make it a month. He said yeah, we could try. I made him promise. So we went on 'going out' although I was the only one saying I love you. He never held my hand again. A few days later he said he couldn't do it and broke it off again. Needless to say this crushed me again.
That was about a month ago. Since then, he has given me a few rides to places. I asked him if he ever thought about us still (last monday) and he said he thinks about us all the time but doesn't want anyone to get hurt. He says he still cares a lot. I spilled my guts out to him a few times, telling him why and how much I love him. How much he means. The times I have, he just sits there silently and says nothing. I asked him if he still loves me. He says he doesn't know. Recently , I found out from a friend that he likes another girl or at least has a thing. I'm not sure if this is true, but I want him back so much... I don't know what to do...
We still hung out afterward, but I would wind up staring and a few times he'd stare back. He had given me back the necklace and the cd over time...
On our one year, I asked him to a movie with another friend (girl) of mine. He came and he sat next to me. Halfway through Nick and Norah, he turned and looked at me and said I was beautiful. I just about started crying and told him he shouldn't say that. He turned back to the movie. A few minutes later he turned and said he missed me and still loved me. Needless to say, we got back together. We texted and he said he wasn't leaving and that he didn't want me, he needed me.
The following night he thought about leaving because he finally realized how much he had hurt me. He asked me why I loved him so, and so I told him. Things like I really do love his eyes, how he holds me, says he loves me. Lots of things. He said all right... that he just needed to know. That he wasn't going anywhere. A night or two later, he stopped by after work and we talked. He said he didn't know if he loved me anymore, and if he did he thought it was a sisterly love. He said he didn't want to leave but he had to. He had changed. He started drinking and had tried pot, picked fights with other people, and was overall just different.
I was crushed but I said, couldn't we at least try to make it a month. He said yeah, we could try. I made him promise. So we went on 'going out' although I was the only one saying I love you. He never held my hand again. A few days later he said he couldn't do it and broke it off again. Needless to say this crushed me again.
That was about a month ago. Since then, he has given me a few rides to places. I asked him if he ever thought about us still (last monday) and he said he thinks about us all the time but doesn't want anyone to get hurt. He says he still cares a lot. I spilled my guts out to him a few times, telling him why and how much I love him. How much he means. The times I have, he just sits there silently and says nothing. I asked him if he still loves me. He says he doesn't know. Recently , I found out from a friend that he likes another girl or at least has a thing. I'm not sure if this is true, but I want him back so much... I don't know what to do...