:( Does anyone have any advice on what to do about bed-wetting?

Here's a little history:
-We have a seven year old boy who continues to wet the bed every night. (Almost, there are a couple of times a year he goes without doing it. He's even gone up to about 4 days without then all of a sudden he starts again.)
-A couple people on my side of the family have had issues
-We have seen a doctor
-We have tried two types of medication & restricting fluids
-I've tried waking him up around 11pm then around 3am, he's always wet at some point.

It seems hopeless. He is very discouraged. We are at our wit's end.

I don't know much about raising kids (I don't have any) and I have only marginal experience with bed wetting (I did it once in adulthood while very ill and having a bathroom dream LOL) but I do know something about how some things are exacerbated by becoming discouraged.

Perhaps plan for the long haul in this. Step back, take a big breath and look to minimize the hassle of it. Hard not to be discouraged, I can imagine, but kids can be sensitive and your frustration could add to the problem even in small amounts.

I know my brother wet the bed way back in the late 50's and with no help at all in the way of doctors, medications, etc, he eventually just outgrew it?

Aqua, I hate to answer questions with questions, but here goes:

What time of day or night do you begin restricting fluids? What kinds of fluids does he drink daily, caffinated, fruit juices, etc?

You do not say where you are, but here in the southern US it is hot, temps in the home will help bedwetting problems. The colder it is in the house, the more likely it is to wet the bed.

Fill me in with these questions and I will try to help more.

No worries about all of the questions J9.

1. We restrict fluids after 6 if he is going to bed at 8. (This is difficult and frustrating to him and us.)
2. He drinks mostly milk and water. If we have juice then he drinks that but that might be only 30% of the time.
3. We are in Saskatchewan. It is cool here.

Thanks for trying to help, I appreciate any advice anyone might have. It breaks my heart to see him so upset with himself. Two of his younger brothers are potty-trained with no bedwetting issues and this is really hurtful to him.

Okay, lets regroup:

He has 2 hours between drinking and going to bed, for the most part anyway. Yes, difficult and frustrating, but solvable. The fluids may take longer to travel to his bladder, you may have to restrict more than 2 hours in advance. Instead of liquids, you can use fruit, grapes, apples, whatnot for when he gets thirsty. Sugarfree candy can also help.

Okay, so it is cool there, especially in the evening, I used to live in Alaska, so I can relate. Don't you seem to have to go to the bathroom more often if you are cold? He may be a little chilly while sleeping at night. Make sure his room is a little on the warmer side.

They have the new overnight kids pants for kids his age and older that they can wear at night that keep sheets and clothes dry. This helps to eliminate embarrassment while you are working through this problem. You can make it something special between the two of you and the other kids don't need to know.

Check out this website, it is very interesting and may be helpful.

http://familydoctor.org/366.xml

Thanks for your advice. I will try that with the fruit. We have been using the overnight pants even though the doctor said it was probably doing him no good. She thought if he got into the habit of feeling wet then he would have to get up and change his sheets and whatnot and that would help. It didn't! It only made the situation worse. I will toss him an extra blanket and see if that helps him to stay warm. Thanks for the tips. I will check out the website.

Okay, I see what your doc is saying, but I have to say I only believe in this for toddlers who are trying to potty train and using pull-ups. I NEVER used them, even daycare insisted and I said no. It only took a week to train mine.

Right now you need to focus on your 7 year olds self-esteem, and if that is what it takes to keep this "secret" then so be it.

Once he learns how to feel good about himself you can focus on conquering this "problem."

This truly is not an unusual problem, he will grow out of it. But he has to learn how to feel good about him first and foremost. The embarrassment is the worst part. If he is not embarrassed, things will begin to happen naturally. Fear of this happening in front of friends can cause enough tension for this to happen.

It will all work out in the end. I promise.

I agree with J_9, he could be caught in a "loop" and if you make a "graceful" exit for him, he may eventually take it. And hopefully with a good bit of his self esteem still intact. Some of the hardest part of parenting has to be balancing being involved with waiting for your child to figure it out while you set up the parameters in which they do. I can only imagine the challenge there!

Breathe some more. (hug)

Yes, Val the balancing act is by far one of the hardest parts of parenting. We have to provide opportunities with which our children can either grasp or ignore. The trick is making the opportunity seem enticing, not embarrassing or harsh punishment if the opportunity is not grasped.

Aqua, I am sure you can do this. Just let him know that this IS normal for some people and nothing to be ashamed of. It WILL go away in time.

Hugs, back at you Mom.

Xoxo

From what I understand, bed-wetting is more common with boys than girls, and can last until a child is 10 or even older.

Most of the "tricks" like limiting fluids in the evening, and waking the child up several times during the night, etc don't really work that well.

The problem is that children sleep more soundly than adults and the neurological sensation of a full bladder is not as advanced as in adults.

In the meantime, explain to the child that this happens sometimes, use a plastic sheet with an extra mattress pad and extra sheet, and the night-time pull up pants.

Restricting fluids and waking up the child make him feel "different" and will more likely decrease self-esteem.

I know it is frustrating. My son saturated through triple diapering as an infant and wet the bed periodically until he was six.

Thank you all for your wonderful words of encouragement. I have a new idea of what my next step should be now. I need to pass your attitudes on to him and help him to feel better about himself. I am usually good about it, well we just don't talk about it too much, but there are the odd times when I think I might blame him (I don't tell him that though). I know that is terrible and I won't do that again. I don't want him to get any sort of a bad feeling from me.

WE CAN DO THIS!

I will pass on your encouragement and keep on going up. Thanks again for all of your advice.

What has the doctor said? You want to be careful about over-medicating him. Bed wetting at age 7 is still fairly common. Waking him up during the night isn't good either as it can lead to sleep disturbances that can have far-reaching effects. I wouldn't worry too much just yet. If, in a few years the problem persists, then you may want to talk with a urologist. I have a 7 year old myself, as well as a 5 year old. We still send them to bed every night with "pull ups" on as they still occasionally wet during the night. You might want to consider this as it'll keep him from ruining his sheets and mattresses.

Thanks s cianci, I do use pull ups every night. They have been my saving grace. I can't imagine 10 or 15 years ago when they didn't have them. I haven't over-medicated him so no worries there. We tried one cheaper medicine and it worked for about a week, then nothing. So he got that one for about a week and a half and another one for a couple of weeks. The expensive one seemed to work well but after about 2 weeks, it didn't work any more either. I think I am going to have to take him back to the pediatrician. Maybe it is normal, maybe there is something else going on.

At what age do they usually grow out of it?

It can take until age 11 or 12 until they completely outgrow it.

Okay, lets regroup:

He has 2 hours between drinking and going to bed, for the most part anyway. Yes, difficult and frustrating, but solvable. The fluids may take longer to travel to his bladder, you may have to restrict more than 2 hours in advance. Instead of liquids, you can use fruit, grapes, apples, whatnot for when he gets thirsty. Sugarfree candy can also help.

Okay, so it is cool there, especially in the evening, I used to live in Alaska, so I can relate. Don't you seem to have to go to the bathroom more often if you are cold? He may be a little chilly while sleeping at night. Make sure his room is a little on the warmer side.

They have the new overnight kids pants for kids his age and older that they can wear at night that keep sheets and clothes dry. This helps to eliminate embarrassment while you are working through this problem. You can make it something special between the two of you and the other kids don't need to know.

Check out this website, it is very interesting and may be helpful.

http://familydoctor.org/366.xml

Hi J_9, couldn't rate you this time around, but wanted to let you know that your suggestion and the link to the 'familydoctor' were great! Added the link to my favorites.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_11.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)
Don't worry, aqua.. you'll get there!

Thanks again Val and everyone else.

This is one of those things that would greatly be helped if he knew that he wasn't alone, but unfortunately can't share this with any of his friends. I will try to encourage him.

J9... that was a great link. Thank you.

Thanks again Val and everyone else.

This is one of those things that would greatly be helped if he knew that he wasn't alone, but unfortunately can't share this with any of his friends. I will try to encourage him.

J9...that was a great link. Thank you.


Right, he can't. But I got a different perspective on this when a Friend of mine slept over on the couch and wet the couch. I think I was about 11 and had just about stopped by then. He is not alone, and will eventually stop.

I just saw something on the Today show -- Today about "is your home making you sick?" One thing they mentioned is having a bed to close to electrical wires can cause bed wetting amongst other things. I am not sure how you cannot have it near elctrical circuits but that is what they said. I figured I would throw it out there.

Here is the link to the listing of all the topics. I think it is a video of it.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032633/?ta=y. Hope this helps.

Thanks jduke... that is really interesting. I will come back tomorrow and comment on everyone's postings as I am not allowed for another 24 hours. Same goes with the "object in nose" thread. Thanks

**UPDATE**

Hi all, I just thought I would tell you what is going on now. My son must be maturing or something. So far in the last week and a half, my son has only wet the bed once (and it was only a little). We are both so excited and I hope this will be long term for him.

Thanks for all of your support.:D

That is GREAT news, I am so happy for him, I am sure he is too.

I have been having a problem with my 4 year old lately, trying to take all your advice into consideration.

Thanks J9 (I think that is the best name considering what your name is-I always wanted to tell you that). I hope this will be a nice start for us and I hope your child will get through this quickly.

I am sure it is a great start for you. Just don't forget that there may be "fallbacks" Just ignore them if there are. The more you ignore this "medical" problem the faster it will go away, remember he is not the only one.

We are trying to get through this. My child is EXTREMELY apologetic, and I keep trying to tell him it is an ACCIDENT, but he is only 4.

Thanks for the complement on the name too. I have carried this nickname for most of my life LOL

Yeaaaaaaa for both of you!! (she says whilst jumping on the bed! ) :D

Better check for wet spots Mom, LOL.

Hi, I just joined today, and I saw your posting.Wow! That could have been our house about a month ago! We also had an amazing turn around, our son even had his first sleep-over on the weekend!! Congrats to your son, it has made ours a whole lot happier!

I am the mom of 3 boys. Every one was different with respect to this issue. What worked best in every case was quietly restricting fluids a few hours before bedtime, being matter of fact about the "accidents"--i.e. change the sheets in a still darkened bedroom, change pj's, hug and back to bed. Emphasis on low, quiet, soothing--you don't want to truly interact because that may become a positive for the child. Keep it neutral. And trust me, unless there are underlying medical issues (which are usually treatable) they all grow out of it! Good luck.

Thanks all... I will come back when I can to give reputation. Apparently I need to hand out more than I am allowed... LOL.

BTW... welcome Tonikuhar!

Hi I am a Mom and have an occasional bed wetter. It is stress related and please don't wake them up to go or eliminate drinking water or whatever!! This will just cause more STRESS! If you drink all day sometimes you do not go until hours later so that is a bad idea! No pills are going to work either just relax get a plastic liner for the bed and he/she will outgrow it. Praying to Jesus also works wonderfully. Dear Lord please let this little child's bed wetting stop and cause no more stress in your sweet name of Jesus I pray Amen. Have a blessed and not stressed day. Your friend Julee

You know Julee... it's funny you would mention prayer. I asked my son what he was doing differently and he did say that he started to add that to his prayers at night. He is still doing pretty good. Probably 2/3 nights he stays dry. He is still trying. Thanks for the thought.

We came across your blog posting, and would like to advise that drugs do not address the root cause of bedwetting: A deep sleep disorder. If pills and nasal sprays are being used and show some effectiveness, once the drugs are discontinued, the bedwetting will resume. They are merely a temporary fix, and have many side effects. For 32 years, the Enuresis Treatment Center has successfully treated thousands of people from around the world by establishing a new and healthy pattern of sleep. The Enuresis Treatment Center cures bedwetting without the use of drugs. Physicians bring their own children for treatment instead of subjecting them to drugs. The Enuresis Treatment Center has put together an informative guide to understanding and treating bedwetting. This free bedwetting guide is available to download at www.freebedwettingguide.com.

Hey aqua. What meds did your son try? I have a daughter who wet the bed, she was put on Minirin Tablets (they also come in a nasal spray) and it has come to a complete stop. There might be the odd night but that's it. The minirin tablets are just like a hormone replacement, the hornmone that sends a message to the brain saying they need to wake up and go to the toilet. The tablets are used for kids over 6 who have regular bladder function during the day.
I understand where the doctor was coming from about feeling the wetness of the bed. I was advised to make my daughter change the sheets and make them wash them herself and etc, this just made her feel more embrassed and like she was being punished for wetting the bed.
Check our this website it explains the minirin tablets very well. And I swear to you they are a LIFE saver for you and your child.
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcmed.nsf/pages/fpcminit/$File/fpcminit.pdf

My sister wet the bed till right up into the 6th grade. Put a plastic sheet on and wait it out. Today she is 45 years old and an executive.

Must correct that last statement... she wet the bed till 5th grade. I remember getting so angry with her when we were kids because she would take a bath and use all the hot water so I had to bathe in her bath water. Mind you I was in 7th grade at the time and would be mad I had to bathe in her pee water. She stopped in the 5th grade just all the sudden and so will your little guy or girl.