Hello everyone! Well, to make a long story short! Was dating this guy for about 3 months and I fell in love with him.. we had sexual relations.. so, I decided to let him know how I felt towards him and when I did he didn't contact me for about 3 weeks.. after 3 weeks passed he called me and apologized for not calling sooner and told me that he liked me a lot but that he didn't love me.. the thing that I'm confused about is that he still calls me and tries to see me and the last time I saw him he tried to kiss me and be lovable.. why? I thought he didn't love me... I feel hurt because he calls me once a week when he wants to see me... what should I do? Should I stop answering his calls? HELP!

I think you have answered your own question

It sounds like he just wants sex so yes, you should stop answering his calls.

He may not love you just yet. He may like you a lot, but he hasn't fallen in love with you yet. He probably got scared when you told him that you loved him and that is why he didn't call for a few weeks. I would continue to see him, NOT sleep with him, and see where it goes from there. Just to be safe I would not sleep with him, I would just try to get to know him better and see how is real feelings are and if he stops talking to you because you won't sleep with him then you know that he is using you for sex and at least you tried and found out what he was really about. Don't just throw away someone you love because they haven't fallen in love with you throughout a three month period.

Well, he texted me on Friday morning and told me that he might to go my house so we can see each other and he didn't go or text! What should I do now? Is he just playing with me? Oh and he didn't call me or text over the weekend either!

He is horny and wants sex from you. Don't call him, don''t invite him over, if he comes over ask him to leave. All he wants is free sex from you. That is not love it is using you to get what he wants.

I'm disappointed that all these answers only assume that he wants sex...
Isn't possible that you came on too strong too early? As a guy, one major rule is to not come on too strong. Do you think that you might've done so? And if you did come on too strong, that won't eliminate any feelings he has for you. But I do think you shouldn't try to invite him over or contact him as if you guys were in a relationship. Treat it as a friendship for now, and go from there. Assuming he only wants sex only leads to problems...

I'm disappointed taht all these answers only assume that he wants sex....
Isn't possible that you came on too strong too early? As a guy, one major rule is to not come on too strong. Do you think that you might've done so? And if you did come on too strong, that won't eliminate any feelings he has for you. But I do think you shouldn't try to invite him over or contact him as if you guys were in a relationship. Treat it as a friendship for now, and go from there. Assuming he only wants sex only leads to problems....

Sorry you gave me a reddie just because you disagree with my comments. That is not what they are for. Why didn't you give zoemarie a reddie too? Are you simply picking on me for nothing?
However if you go back and reread her original post you will see what led me to the conclusions I offered. He did not call for 3 weeks, then tries to come on to her. Now he calls once a week and wants to come over. Sounds like a horny guy to me.
Oh and you will notice that I did not give you a reddie, but simply stated the facts as I read them.

Well personally I simply disagreed with your quote so that's why I gave you the reddie. But my point is, wouldn't you feel awkward when someone tells you something you're not ready for? You can't expect him to suddenly be OK with it. That's like saying when two people break up they should just be able to bounce back right away. People need to be able to have time to recover. That's what I meant.

Well personally I simply disagreed with your quote so that's why I gave you the reddie. But my point is, wouldn't you feel awkward when someone tells you something you're not ready for? You can't expect him to suddenly be ok with it. That's like saying when two people break up they should just be able to bounce back right away. People need to be able to have time to recover. That's what I meant.


I see what you're saying, but people get on this site to find out what we think about their situations and if we tell people what they want to hear, we're not preparing them for what might really be happening. Realizing something before you're ready to accept it, isn't a bad thing. You will actually be healing sooner than you would if the people on this site just told you what you wanted to hear. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Although, I don't disagree with you I wanted to tell you why we say the things we say.

To the OP: I too believe he is just using you for sex. I would recommend either confronting him about it, or just ignoring him altogther.


Sorry you gave me a reddie just because you disagree with my comments. That is not what they are for. Why didn't you give zoemarie a reddie too? Are you simply picking on me for nothing?
However if you go back and reread her original post you will see what led me to the conclusions I offered. He did not call for 3 weeks, then tries to come on to her. Now he calls once a week and wants to come over. Sounds like a horny guy to me.
Oh and you will notice that I did not give you a reddie, but simply stated the facts as I read them.

450donn: You have been more than fair, and didn't at all deserve that reddie. I completely agree with you. The guy just wants sex.

NItEMArE129: You HAVE to learn how to use the comments feature if you are going to post. Please review the guidelines. 450donns' advice was not in any way dangerous or factually incorrect. ANY conclusion drawn from this post would be purely a THEORY. Sure, there are many possibilities, and 450donn was just voicing his ideas.

Disagreement is fine and you are entitled to your opinion. Reddies are there for factually incorrect statements.
Feel akword? Yes, but that is no excise to ignore the girl for 3 weeks and then start calling again and when you do see her start the lovy dovy stuff. Again that to me sounds like he is a horny guy trying to get into her pants again. Did she give it up too soon in the relationship? Sure. But that was not the question. My advise stands and I guess it is the opinion of at least one other person. So next time please keep the reddies to yourself unless a statement is factually wrong!

Ok I accept that I may have been rash in giving out the reddie, and I do apologize. I am sorry. I think that assuming the worst is bad, and your last comment made me think that that's what you were doing. So yea, I apologize and I agree with your point. But I do think that people don't need to have good reasons all the time with relationships. It's usually feelings, right? We don't think that we love someone, we feel it. So I think that's where I was coming from. And once again, I apologize.

Reddies are just one of my buttons. I get really defensive, even for others... As you can see.

The way I see it, this wasn't assuming the worst, but it was being reasonable. Giving him the benefit of the doubt seems a little too optimistic to me. I've always been a "hope for the best, but prepare for the worst" kind of person. The behaviour he has shown at least validates the assumption that he wants her only for sex.

I hope that the guy is genuine, but my gut tells me different. I do see your point about how negative I (and some others) sound, but I think it is just the ugly truth.

He went over my house last night.. I saw him and we talked for about 3 hours... he didn't try to put a move on me but he did mention why I didn't want to be intimate with him anymore and I told him it was because I didn't want to get hurt and he said he understood.. I then asked him if sex was all he wanted from me and he said NO.. So does he only want to be friends then? I'm lost!

I think that he has messed up big time. If he wants to get back into your good graces it will take time and work. But do not sleep with him!! That will make everything so much worse and complicated. Also just because he is saying he isn't using you for sex does not make it true. What do you gut instincts say?

He went to my house last night again.. we we're talking and then he just started kissing me and caresing me... so does he like me or not? Any thoughts? Please help!

He is using you. Either you can make a decision and put an end to it or be used by him and stop complaining about it. Sorry but those are the 2 options I see . I hope you want to resolve this but you have to make up your mind at some point. It might be hard but you don't have a lot to lose by enforcing that he respect you and your space and body. If he doesn't you know he was using you. If he does than you can work on yourself and getting to know each other. Oh and please give it more than say a day to try out not messing around with him. You are not going to get it figured out in a day and not in a week. Good luck and make your choice, doormat or strong and independent?

He's not trying to be lovable at all. He's just trying to get in your pants. If you want to keep this relationship up with him that's fine but you have to understand that it's just sex and no love involved.

He went over my house last night.. i saw him and we talked for about 3 hours... he didn't try to put a move on me but he did mention why i didn't want to be intimate with him anymore and i told him it was because i didn't want to get hurt and he said he understood..i then asked him if sex was all he wanted from me and he said NO.. So does he only want to be friends then? i'm lost!

Well not everybody is honest. There's a possibility that he was just saying "no" because he didn't want to hurt your feelings. Think about it what guy would admit to using a girl for sex??

No contact is the easiest way to say "I'm not interested in you for you, I'm interested in your body." This person is obviously not worth your time anymore, even if you think he is.