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rainbowelite
Nov 2, 2008, 07:23 AM
I've had a girlfriend for around a year now, totally in love, I'm sure of it.
Yet when we went to have sex, the moment was there I was all fine and ready, when I put on the condom and tried putting it in, I just kind of oost the erection and it all went wrong from there and I couldn't get it back up because I went all embarressed so it just wasn't happening for me.

I told my friends and they were like ahha don't worry you probably just nervous first time, and they agreed they go through weird stages sometimes where they don't get as good erections which I exactly how I felt so I was fine.

However when I went to have again, I told her I was worried and I couldn't get the last time out of my head so I couldn't get one again.

I don't have any problems with getting a erection normall, only when I seem to actually need one lol, so I don't personally think I have a problem, but then again I don't think I'm nervous about not pleasuring her or anything, so I'm kind of worried about what to do, because I really don't wan this to happy again.

Also I would prefer not to talk to my Gp or anything because I don't know how I'd arrange that without making it obvious to my parents, I wonder if anyone knows how I feel or what I can do?

Thanks

Blogg
Nov 6, 2008, 01:53 AM
Well, I have a best friend that told me the same story like you. He was very ashamed with his girlfriend at that moment. But, not for the 2nd time. He said that he was more relax, just like enjoying it without thinking anything more than "their work".. Maybe you should give a try :D

Clough
Nov 6, 2008, 02:48 AM
Hi, rainbowelite!

I can understand how you feel about wanting to have sex. However, what I don't understand is your thinking it's okay to have sex at the age of 15.

Are you ready and prepared to be a father and work to pay money to support a child in case your girlfriend gets pregnant and has a baby? That could happen, you know, even if you think that you're having sex is safe because you're using some sort of protection against pregnancy. The first wedding that I ever played for: I was 14, the groom was 15 and the bride was 16. They got divorced after only a couple of years of being together. Would you want to be part of a divorce or separation from your partner statistic because of making bad judgments and choices based upon inexperience and lack of knowledge as to the consequences of your actions?

If you think that you're totally in love, then you also need to think twice about that. I've been in love many times in my life. A lot of those times that I was in love, it was only a crush, and usually when I was very young in my preteen and teenage years.

"Love" with a girlfriend at the age of 15 isn't anything compared to endearing love that you'll have later on as you grow and mature in physical, mental and emotional ways some years down the line. You're really just beginning in life. Why rush things?

Please do think about the possible consequences of your actions before you do them.

Having sex isn't some sort of game. If you think that it is, then be prepared to lose if you make the wrong move.

I'm sure that there will be others who will come along to address your post besides me and Blogg.

Thanks!

kered
Nov 8, 2008, 06:06 PM
If you've been with her for a year, it sounds like it's more than just a casual thing. It's good that you are being safe. After you realize your erection isn't happening, do you give up right away? You should try and relax and just start kissing and touching each other. That will help you forget about your temporary problem and naturally get your erection back. She could also try giving you oral or even just getting you to orgasm by hand. Once you get that far you will start being more comfortable and I'm sure you'll be able to keep your erection going. Don't worry, this is just a little anxiety thing and you'll get through it.

ref_za
Nov 14, 2008, 04:05 AM
Kered has it right, glad to hear you're using protection. The easiest way to deal with the problem is to take the pressure off yourself. Just take it easy. When you and your girlfriend get intimate, let it happen in it's own time. Don't assume that you have to have intercourse to please her or to meet her expectations. As soon as you stop expecting performance and pressuring yourself, it becomes a lot easier to enjoy intimacy and the sex will come naturally.