Hey, I have not had an orgasm while having sex.
And I have a lot and tried a lot.
But with a guy it seems like I can't have one.

But when I'm by myself and masterbating I can myself.
But with sex I cant.

Any secrets?

No secrets. Stop masturbating for a while, you are too used to your own rhythm and style. You have to relax, foreplay, until you feel it happening and then go for it.

From what I've heard and read, many women (even the majority of women) are unable to reach orgasm from penetration alone. Thus, I don't think your problem is an uncommon one.

If you orgasm as a result of clitoral stimulation when you're on your own, you could do what many of the women described above do during sex. While you're engaging in intercourse, you (or your partner, or both) continue to stimulate your clitoris manually.
This might just solve your problem entirely.

Ok, assuming you are a girl, your partner needs to do enough fore play so you reach one before you even start having intercourse.

no secrets. Stop masturbating for a while, you are too used to your own rythm and style.

I don't know if this is true in all cases. In one sense, if you're going overboard with it and masturbating all the time, then I suppose your body could become less sensitized or "needy" temporarily, and then it might take longer to climax. Maybe in extreme cases, one could find himself or herself unable to reach orgasm during an entire sexual session with their partner. However, if a woman has never had an orgasm during sex, I think there might be something else going on.

Many times, I find that if I am self-stimulating on a regular or semi-regular basis, I can feel a difference in the strength of my muscles during orgasm. That is, they get stronger. This means that I have more control over them, that my orgasms during sex can be significantly more powerful, and that they can also last a lot longer.

One thing I do know is that there are a lot of women who post similar questions here, and many of them are unable to climax at all, including on their own. Most of the time, someone will suggest that learning about their body's reactions, especially through self-stimulation, will give them a better understanding of what will bring them to orgasm. Then, using that knowledge and experience, they can apply what works for them to sexual intercourse with their partner. So, heyheather, perhaps you can consider yourself already halfway there.

Not all women have orgasms during sex or with a man and can only achieve one on their own... research it.. a woman has to be in a certain mood and place in her mind to have an orgasm. Sometimes a woman cannot do this because of some outside influence such as what the Christianity expert suggested... more foreplay.. or being more relaxed... or talking... or whatever you like.. talk to your partner about it.

Are you using a vibrator? Are you young?

If so, you may h ave to go back to square one and develop your orgasmic potential as a full female experience, mind and personality and techniques such as fantasy and others.

Good Luck!

Try being on top and make an effort to rub your vulva/cli.. t against his public bone in a back and forth motion, even up and down the pounding may help. Work with different angles while on top.

Also, work on different angles while in missionary position, try a pillow under your butt it will help his angle go upward towards your G-Spot, tell him to aim high towards your stomach. I had a previously non-orgasmic woman orgasm when I found her G-Spot by fluke when we changed the angle of penetration.

Oh so how do you find it? I thought a gspot was your clitoris.
And yes I am a girl and I'm about to be 20 so. And you I masterbate and seems I can orgasm then and its when I use my clitoris but the guy I with we usually just have sex and he never touches that but I thought you could have an orgasm with out that tooooo.
Buti can't seem to and we have done angles before.
So I'm not sure what it is about me.

oh so how do you find it? i thought a gspot was your clitoris.
and yes i am a girl and im about to be 20 so. and ya i masterbate and seems i can orgasm then and its when i use my clitoris but the guy i with we usually jsut have sex and he never touches that but i thought you could have an orgasm with out that tooooo.
buti can't seem to and we have done angles before.
so im not sure what it is about me.

Some women can have orgasms through penetration alone, and some women can't. Some of the women who think they can't can learn as they learn more about their bodies.

If you're having orgasms through clitoral stimulation, you might want to do what many women do during sex. That is, they touch themselves even during penetration. You don't have to be shy if you decide to try it. Frankly, your partner will probably think it's really hot.

You can find information on the g-spot, as well as a diagram, by following these links:
AskMen.com - How To Master The Woman's G-Spot (http://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_100/115_love_secrets.html)
G-spot - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G-spot)

Lots of things to consider here.

First, being mentally relaxed and being able to lose yourself in the moment is often critical. Mental blocks can kill your ability to orgasm. The desire to have an orgasm isn't the same as being in the moment, able to reach orgasm.

Do you have security and privacy when having sex? Are you rushed? Hurried? Sneaking?

Foreplay should be more about sensitizing your skin, letting your body evolve into a charged state. It isn't about necking and kissing and breast play... to some degree, less can be more. Skin on skin. Slow tension building. By the time you deep kiss, you should crave it. Some of the best sex comes from an ability to develop sexual tension.

All that said, as stated above, sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands. There are positions that would NEVER get a lover off unless she self stimulated during intercourse... but please, don't let self consciousness keep you from helping yourself reach orgasm. Sometimes a wet finger is all you need to go from feeling good to going over the top.

I NEVER think, when a partner self stims during sex, that I'm doing something wrong. I think "shes not going to be denied" and that's sexy as sin. Yes... the first time it might seem odd to you or surprise him, but seriously... self stimulation during sex is one of the most important tools I've seen women use in my personal experience.

The more you can talk to your partner, the better. He isn't going to know what you need necessarily. What one woman loved, another HATED. It takes time, effort, communication.

And sometimes a little extra stimulation by your own hand to push you over the top.

Good news is that once you get a "win"... you are probably going to have others... as right now there is some doubt in your mind about whether you are going to get there... so you are searching for that right path... when you actually believe it will happen, it happens easier.

Thanks for your help. I got a lot of info on here and the web side askmen.com helped a lot.butthanks for everything.
I should have some luck now on this.

thanks for your help. i got a lot of info on here and the web side askmen.com helped alot.butthanks for everything.
i should have some luck now on this.

I liked the site too. I'm glad if it helped.

In fact, it's my pleasure... and if you're lucky, soon it shall be all yours too! :)

If it happens, come back and post it! I know there are a lot of women who come here asking similar questions, and I'm sure they'd find your experience very helpful.

Tell your partner exactly what you want him to do to get you off. From start to finish.