I am feeling very overwhelmed. I am stay at home mom of 2 boys. They are 2 and 4. I love them to death, but I don't feel like I ever do anything good enough. I work from home and I babysit for friends and all of this makes me not enjoy my own kids. I enjoy my work, and it is very flexible (can work 24/7 and only 10 hours a week) plus it makes me feel like I am contributing to the family. I babysit 3 days a week and literally wake up in tears because I don't want to do it. I have my 2 kids plus a 1 and 2 year old and I feel like I am trying to meet the babysitting kids needs and put my own kids on the back burner. My days are so rushed. I get up at 6:30 and don't go to bed until 11 and I feel like I get nothing done and my kids are starting to suffer. I don't feel like I pay them enough attention and when I do have time to sit down with them I just want to chill by myself. I usually am behind on my work and have to end up spending the weekend getting caught up working and trying to get the house in some sort of order. I am so burnt out that there are days I just sit down and cry while they run around causing havok (like today!). My husband is supportive. Tells me to go out with my friends, shopping, etc, but I don't feel like I have time for that. He tries to help out around the house but there are some things he just can't do (cooking!). He tells me to let the babysitting kids go, but I feel like I have a responsibility to them. Also, I look at what I make in the month from it and it really does help us out. The days I don't babysit, I take my oldest to preschool and usually run errands, so again, no real quality time with my kids. How do I fit it in when I feel like I am so busy. My kids are favoring their father over me and I feel it is because of this. My 2 year old use to be a mommas boy until a few months ago. Now every morning he wakes up asking for dad and it just breaks my heart. My oldest is always talking about when the weekend is coming because dad will be off work. I don't want to ruin the relationship with my kids, but I am so exhausted that I don't know what to do. Between cleaning, cooking, working, babysitting, I just don't feel like I have a moment to breathe. Help!

Kids like change, so could it be that because they are around you ALL day, they just want a "change of scenery". At least you are around your kids. I feel like someone else is raising mine. I am in nursing school fulltime and when I AM home, I'm studying. I hate it. But I am doing it for her, and one day she will appreciate me for it. Good luck to you and your family!

I also feel like you do-only I work full time and am the ONLY parent in the household. I don't get home until around 6:00PM and then I clean up, cook, do laundry, clean up-give the kids a bath-if I'm lucky, I get that done by 8:30 so I have a half hour to spend with them before they go to bed. But when the time comes (IF the time comes) I am exhausted and just want some peace and quiet. But my children are there crawling around on my lap, or wanting to just talk about their day, or whatever it is that they just want my attention. I often have to take a step back and actually realize what a blessing it truly is to have this small amount of time-even though I'm aggrivated and frustrated all to hell.

It is true, although a lot of us cannot stand to leave our house a mess (which is only probably a true mess in our own opinions), or even the slightest clutter-you have to take some time off for your own well being and let those things go every once in a while. Do what your husband has suggested. Take some time off for just you, even if it is just a half hour. Go out, pamper yourself, or be with friends outside of the family home. You will be refreshed and relaxed. Your babies love you, I know that. But they are always around you, and their father is gone during the day. This time apart can actually strengthen the strong bond you already have with them. This will be good for you and your children-even your husband. I don't think that they don't love you anymore-I just think that you are overwhelmed-which is causing you the incapability to see or feel the bond that is actually already there.

Your first and only priority is to your children and husband. IF you are feeling as stressed as your post sounds then you need to stop taking care of other peoples children. If that means doing without, then so be it! Sell what ever luxuries you are paying on and get to the point where you can spend the time with your kids and husband without being overloaded. Maybe in a few years when the kids are in school you might consider taking in some kids during the day. But not now!

P.S. You are not the worst mom ever. Mine was far worse. Kicked dad out of the house and did not tell us kids for three weeks that dad was not coming home from a business trip. Got involved with a guy and they basically drank themselves silly most every night of the week. I did not get dinner sometimes until 11 at night. Woke me in the middle of the night drunk to tell me that we were going someplace. Your problem is easy to fix compared to many others.

I assure you, although this is a big deal to you and good moms alike, this does NOT make you the worst mom, not now not ever. The fact that you are so concerned makes you a very good mom.

I can definitely understand your position. It sounds to me like you've got a lot of stress in your life, and some of which you may need to let go, i.e. kids you babysit. You have a responsibility to your own kids before those that you babysit. Maybe, if you just "can't" do that, then knock it down to only a couple days a week.
Also, kids go through stages in their lives wanting one parent more than the other, and then they switch. If you really pay attention, this has probably happened a time or two already with your eldest, and will probably continue to happen as they grow.
Enjoy the little "break" from them constantly wanting "mommy". This may be their way of telling you that you need some "mommy time". Kids can sense when adults are overwhelmed, especially when it comes to their own parents. And being a stay at home mom myself, it's nice having the kind of relationship I have with my son.
Just remember there are way too many moms out there that can't stay home with their children for financial reasons, causing them to lose out on what you and I both have.
As for the babysat children, the parents should understand if you wish to take a break for a few days to pull yourself together. Don't let yourself get much past where you are on "burnout". That's not good for you or the children.
Good luck.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

God Bless you. You are a great mom. You have decided to be a stay at home mom, so you can take care of your kids and do what is best for them. You didn't become a stay at home mom to make side money, to clean the house, to cook perfect dinners... you stayed at home for your kids.

You love your kids and would do anything for them. Right now you need to do some things for yourself. Go out on Saturday mornings... all by yourself. Go grocery shopping, get a pedicure, take a walk, read a book... what ever. Just dedicate 1-3 hours on Saturday mornings to you. You still have the rest of the day to spend with your family. I am sure that your husband can manage breakfast. (Make sure there is cereal or frozen waffles).

Do you have a schedule for your babysitting days? If you can't let the kids go, then just plan the day. This is mine--

*Breakfast. The kids eat while I do the dishes

Get dressed.

Put kids in stroller. Go to check mail. Walk to park. Play at playground . Walk back to house.

Play-doh time/coloring time/blocks

Lunch

Bath (really water play time)

Put Austin in bed for nap

If Amelia is happy Schoolwork time
If Amelia is grumpy put her in bed for nap

Pick up toys, Take Shower, Sweep, Mop/Swiffer, Crochet and Pray or Read Bible

Wake -up / free time for kids

Music Time

Craft Time

Free play and/or help mommy cook dinner

Dinner (this is the one thing kind of has a Time. The kids almost always start eating dinner around 5:45)

If daddy is home, we show him what we did and have some free play
If not or after daddy time...

Bath

Books. Sometimes movies. Sometimes Johnny Cash. Always prayer.

Bed*

It has no times. It is meant to make my day easier not more stressful. We don't do everything everyday, but we try to get around to everything, but sometimes the kids want to play longer doing something else. For the schoolwork, I print stuff of the internet for her to do.. worksheets, mazes, handwriting, etc.

I leave crayons and coloring books out all day. So, they can do this whenever they want.

I know that my schedule probably won't work for you, but maybe you can use it to make your own schedule.

My kids and I really benefit from being on a schedule. I was very stressed about what to do and am I doing things right before the schedule.

Also, maybe you should have some easy dinners in the freezer. Frozen pizza, lasagna, skillet meals... etc

These dinners can be made by your husband or by you on days that you just need to not spend an hour over the stove.

I hope I helped.

Oh, I find that when things get really stressful for me... I will put music on (for me it is praise/Christian music) and my kids and I will just dance and sing like crazy people. At first, I have to force myself, but I start to feel better and I actually transform my stress into fun.

I forgot to add that it is okay to let the kids watch an occasional movie or a sesame street episode...

I tell you this from experience... life flies by before we know it, then one day we wake up and realize although we thought we were doing the right thing, we were doing it all wrong. I lost so much time doing things I though I had to do, I cannot get that time back.
You will NEVER get the time back. If you can do without babysitting other peoples children, let them go. Your family is your first priority. Spend the time you can with your children while they are young. They will one day grow up and have lives of their own. You don't want to be like me and wish you had spent more time with them. It's not too late for you. Enjoy your family now.