HELP!
One day while bandaging a co workers cut finger I said I wondered if I was like a mom or sister to him. He replied "Neither, because I would have sex with you". I had no idea that he thought that. After that we started flirting a bit, and on his birthday I told him I would give him a kiss. I thought it would just be a somewhat benign peck on the lips, but he used his tongue. (I didn't.) Then he became cool and distant.
So I decided to keep things more professional. However, one day he whispered to me that he had a very, very erotic dream about me the night before. I did not ask any details. Over the next few weeks he mentioned this dream a few more times, but I would not bite. Obviously he wanted to share the details with me, though.
Eventually one day I came into the office feeling rather crazy, and I started flirting with him. He responded in kind and we were verbally flirting very outrageously. He grabbed my wrist, and put my hand in his crotch and he was hard. He then pulled me into a corner and we kissed each other. Over the next few days we flirted quite a bit. Then without any warning he got cool and distant with me again.
Since then it has been hot and cold. He will flirt with me verbally and physically, then become very standoffish.
I just do not understand this whole situation. We are both in long term relationships already, so it is not like we are going to start dating.
Thanks for any input!
EM

Living dangerous requires periodic and spontaneous-seeming panic moments when sanity attempts to reinstate itself? :eek:


We are both in long term relationships already, so it is not like we are going to start dating.

Are you certain he understands that? I mean really really certain?

Hi, EM,
You are both in long term relationships?
He obviously doesn't know it!
If you continue flirting with this person, be ready for more serious actions.
He wants you, tries a little, then stops... teasing isn't what work is all about.
I suggest you ignore this person, don't talk with him at all, just say "hi", if anything, and go on about your job. If you continue, it will only get worse.
I do wish you the best of luck.

First of all if you are in long term relationship, why the hell would you ask him such a question in the first place?
I mean why would you have been even curious to know if you were like a mum or a sister to him?
Just be careful esp if you don't want to start dating, because the first initial move has been done... :cool: :rolleyes:

EM,

I have to agree with Krs' answer on this. If you were not initially interested, why ask that particular question? Sounds as though you were interested too

If you are in a long term serious relationship I would stop this foolishness now before it gets back to your man. This office "flirting" can end your relationship with your man. In my opinion kissing another man is a form of cheating. I would never do this to my husband in any way shape or form.

I never advise work place romance - 90% it turns bad or uncomfortable.

Leave this guy alone and work on your current relationship.

This is cheating.

Its lust... its forbidden... you'll hate this guy in a month.

It is very easy, you want an affair or you would merely say NO, things just don't happen, we let them happen.

A office romance will normally cost one or both a job, or cause a nice place to work into a bad place to go back into each day.

Neither one of you respects the others long term relationship and neither one of you is coming across as the innocent party either! So let cut to the chase. You only are confused because he makes a move, you LIKE it and then he backs off. He's getting you hot and bothered so he can get over when he wants, and you are falling Willingly into the trap cause that's what you want. SO since niether of you has the decency to respect your boundries you two cheaters deserve each other and I hope your partners have the sense to dump you both so you can get together and cheat on each other, and leave good decent people out of your selfish games!:cool: :p

First of all, I'd cool it when it comes to putting hands in crotches and kissing and stuff like that at the workplace. You could both get yourselves in a lot of trouble. It sounds like he wants to have sex with you but not much else. You say you are both in long term relationships as it is. I wouldn't think much of his advances as that's all they are. Don't do anything to jeopardize your relationship or your job.

I agree with Talaniman, 100% (tried to comment but I got the spread message)

You two deserve each other.

You obviously don't have much respect for your partner - nor does he.
If you don't want to be with your boyfriend, if you want to be with other people, have the decency to tell him, instead of cheating on him!

This guy sounds shifty anyway, if you're not careful, he could cry sexual harassment as well, then you'd really be in trouble.

After a little flirting some mens blood all goes to their crouch, that is why you found out he was hard. Men do this because it feels good and is exciting to them. Some men do not care if you are into them or not so as soon as they have had their good time they are through with you till the next time the right circumstances are present and the routine goes on again. I have a feeling that a little of your blood is also going down hill when these episodes take place, so if you enjoy it and it is worth the risk continue if not let the guy know that you are not going to be his erector set.

Definitley all answers I agree with above!

It takes 2 to tango... so you are just as much to blame as he is. Or even more so for taking the iniative to ask him such a bland stupid question :eek:

I think it's time for you to ask advice on how to get out of this and still be able to keep your jobs...

When you're ready, let us know.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN) I hope you're not having trouble sleeping nights, the people that need you professionally will suffer.

Good luck, dear, hope you get your stuff together soon!