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Peachys Wife
Oct 29, 2008, 02:28 AM
I live in Ohio and my husband and I got a phone call last night from my husbands ex-sister in law about his daughter. First let me say that she is 12 years old and lives with her mother, grandmother and two younger brothers. My concern is that she has not come to have a visit at our house in almost a year. Her choice not ours.. The phone call that we received was very disterbing to say the least. We found out that a couple of weeks ago my step-daughter thought that she was pregnant by a 21 year old man. She is smoking pot and drinking. Her mother lets her run around with these older people, not only that she lets her do what she wants. We think that the reason that she does not come here is that we have rules and she has to abide by them just like the other 3 kids that live here. I also found out that last Friday her mother did not come home from work on time(works 3rd shift and gets off at 7:00am) the younger boy's babysitter had stuff to do so she took the boys and dropped them off with my step-daughter, and when her mom finally came home around 4:00pm she was so drunk that she passed out in the car in the driveway and my step-daughter had to find someone to help her get her mom in the house. My step-daughter has been picked up by the cops for being out at 1:00am by herself. I have called Children Services in my county several times and they refuse to do anything. My husband and I do not have the money to fight or custody, I am going to go and get information about filing the motion pro se, please any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. There is so much more to tell any questions please ask. Thank you for your time.
Thanks,
Michele

lagranoui
Oct 29, 2008, 08:23 AM
First of all all your information is hearsay. You have no actual proof of this just what you were told. Secondly calling child services in your country will not help because they only carry jurisdiction in your country. Calling in her country will do you better. Hearsay or not they have to investigate. Just tell them from whom you obtained your information and they may want to question your source. Hearsay does not stand up in court but it would cause child services to look into your claim.

ScottGem
Oct 29, 2008, 08:40 AM
First, YOU have no legal standing here. While you can do some legwork your husband has to do the actual work. He would need to contact children's services where she lives to get information. He would have to file any motions in court.

Second, do you know who this 21 yr old is? If so, I would report it to the police. For a 21 yr old to have sex with a 12 yr old is statutory rape in any state and this predator needs to be prosecuted.

At that point an investigation will be made into the home life and there is a good chance, if what you say is true, that she will be removed from the home and her father (your husband) will probably be given a chance for custody.

That's your best bet.

Peachys Wife
Oct 29, 2008, 09:05 AM
We do live in the same county, and she has been investigated by Children Services in our county several time and they have done nothing. She has been investigated for drinking while she was pregnant. She actually got a DUI 2 months before she gave birth to her youngest, and still nothing. As for the hearsay, her aunt is the one who told me and she is also the one that saw the mother passed out on the couch, and has had to go and look for my step-daughter when she has taken off. I went today and got the papers to file for custody and I know that my husband has to file but I will also be there because I have seen with my own eyes some of the stuff that she has done to neglect the kids. Hopefully my husband and I can help my step-daughter to change her life before it is to late... Thanks so much for you input..

ScottGem
Oct 29, 2008, 09:27 AM
I'm curious as to why Children's Services has not acted with what appears to be such clear evidence of abuse. Have they given any reason?

lagranoui
Oct 29, 2008, 09:30 AM
Sorry above you mentioned you called child services in your country which gave an impression you did not reside in the same country as your step daughter. Also you noted you just found out by a call received. So I again apologize if I misunderstood. I agree with Scott gem about stat rape. Also I give you my best on obtaining custody to help her. It is difficult to prove a parent unfit. Especially if she has been investigated and child services did not see reason to remove the child.

Peachys Wife
Oct 29, 2008, 12:41 PM
When I went in to children's services today they told me that they have to go by their procedures and they try hard NOT to remove children if they can help it. This is also the office that 4 years ago removed a child from her parents and then gave her back, and when the parents house caught fire they found the little girl tied to her crib with a piece of plywood over the top so she could not get out. The little girl was 4 thank God the fire dept. got her out and she was adopted. They seem like they don't want to do what they get paid for...

ScottGem
Oct 29, 2008, 12:46 PM
There has been a rash of cases in the greater NY area in recent years where bending over backwards to allow the child to stay with a mother even when it was clearly not in the best interests of the child have resulted in tragedy.

I think you need to remind these peoiple that they charge is to consider the best interests of the child first and foremost. And that if anything happens to this child because of their inaction, your husband will make sure that further action will be taken.