I am pregnant with my first child by my ex-husband. He has written a paper stating that he relinquishes all rights and responsibilities to me and my child. He signed it and had someone witness it. Is this legal and will it keep him from trying to take my child later on?

Might want to have him resign one in front of a notary just for extra insurance... but technically it would be legal. You can still take him to court for child support as well.

Even if he doesn't want any rights and has signed saying so I can still take him to court for child support?

Correction... laws are different in all states... but the note he signed is not legal... he has to relinquish his rights in front of a judge with a court reporter present... he may have to pay child support but that varies depending on state

In order to have no rights to the child the judge would have to terminate his rights. Read through some of the other hundreds of threads on this subject and you will learn a LOT. Because he can choose not to see the child or talk to the child but a judge will not terminate his rights just because he dosen't want them. So after the child is born and you go to court for child support I think he will realize this.

correction....laws are different in all states...but the note he signed is not legal...he has to relinquish his rights in front of a judge with a court reporter present....he may have to pay child support but that varies depending on state

First, I didn't see your correction before I left my comment, but you are still offbase here.

As I said only a judge can grant a Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). And judges are very reluctant to do so. Generally a TPR is granted ONLY to clear the way for adoption or because the parent represents a danger to the child.

The laws do vary from state to state. In some states terminating rights doesn't terminate responsibilities so Child support still applies. Other states terminate both rights and responsibilities. But in those states it becomes even harder to get a TPR. TPRs are not given just to allow a parent to get out of paying support.

So the letter was not legal in anyway. However, the letter could be used as evidence that he doesn't care for the child if he tried to get custody. And he will still be on the hook for child support. So as soon as the baby is born, you need to file in your local Family Court for Full custody and child support.

For the second part of the question... Yes even if that paper is somehow legal, but I don't think it is, he will still have to pay child support.

correction....laws are different in all states...but the note he signed is not legal...he has to relinquish his rights in front of a judge with a court reporter present....he may have to pay child support but that varies depending on state


First, I didn't see your correction before I left my comment, but you are still offbase here.

As I said only a judge can grant a Termination of Parental Rights (TPR).
That's your quote...

I just said right there... in front of a judge with a court reportor present... and I corrected my first statement because my first statement was incorrect...

I just said right there....in front of a judge with a court reportor present...and i corrected my first statement becuase my first statement was incorrect...

But your statement makes it sound like all a parent has to do is stand up before a judge and state that they want to relinquish their rights. That is far from accurate. The facts, as I stated are that a judge makes the decision to terminate rights and that they rarely do so. That's because the courts do not want to let the parents out of their responsibility to support the child. Otherwise the state may have to support the child.

my x is trying to relinquish parental responsibility. As of October 2008. The judge told him to think about is and remanded court for another month. Once this is done it is for good and that he is still financially responsible. He is not a threat and has been involved for 13 years 10 together and 3 apart. So in Canada it can be done. As for while you are pregnant no. Usually the child has to born and Then you need to go to court to apply for full custody and serve him. If he does not attend then it will be ruled on with out in most likely in your favor. As for support it is separate from support, Unless you apply to court for support than he does not have to pay it. Unless you are on government assistance you don't have to apply for support.

my x is trying to relinquish parental responsibility. As of October 2008. The judge told him to think about is and remanded court for another month. Once this is done it is for good and that he is still financially responsible. He is not a threat and has been involved for 13 years 10 together and 3 apart. So in Canada it can be done..

Comments on this post
lagranoui (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/lagranoui.html) disagrees: If a parent wants to and is certain of his or her wishes then a judge may consider it if the parent has not been involved for a minimium of two years.


First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedback/using-comments-feature-24951.html

Second, what you said bears out what I have been saying. The judge in your case is clearly reluctant to grant a TPR. That's why he remanded the case and told your ex to think about it. Based on what you have said, in Canada a TPR refers only to rights and not responsibilities. So a court might be more willing to grant a TPR since the parent remains financially responsible.

No one said a judge wouldn't consider granting a TPR. Only that the decision is up to the judge. And Family Court judges are charged with considering the best interests of the child first. But the fact remains that it is very difficult to get a TPR and its definitely not just a matter of the parent making the request before a judge.

Also that is only for custody not relinquishing his rights most cases he has to have no involvement for a min of two years. But in my case he has been involved and still the judge is considering his request which will destroy my boys. Each case is different. But one thing remains the same support and visitation and custody are separate matters and unless you apply for support than is does not have to be paid.

Also that is only for custody not relinquishing his rights most cases he has to have no involvement for a min of two years. But in my case he has been involved and still the judge is considering his request which will destroy my boys. Each case is different. But one thing remains the same support and visitation and custody are separate matters and unless you apply for support than is does not have to be paid.

I'm confused here. You are saying that the case with your ex that you cited was for giving up CUSTODY, not RIGHTS? That certainly is a different story from the OP.

Yes each case is different which is why the judge makes the decision based on the best interests of the child and the law.

You are correct, that Custody/Visitation issues are generally kept separate from Support.

no sorry we have joint custody agreed three years ago The order is to reside with me. He has open access and every other weekend we agreed to shared holidays. He wants to relinquish parental responsibility. No contact. In his words a new beginning. I am hurt concerned for my boys. STo explain to your children their dad does not want them is awefull. The women in question has a letter and an unborn child. First the child is not born and second her paper is not legal. I agree with you there. I was simply imforming her that the father can relinquish his rights but usually after not being involved for a two year min. That is what the judge said to my x. He had lawyer and claims he is certain of his decision. There is not adoption from my spouse in the future and he is not a threat to the children. However the judge is considering his request because he cannot be forced to be involved. So just on recent experience I was speaking.

Again Canadian law may be different. And I do feel for your kids. But if the this will not let him off the hook for support then I don't see the point.

No one can force a parent to be a parent. If he wants to have nothing to do with his kids then all he has to do is cut off contact. I see no reason to formalize a TPR and unless a judge's hands are tied by local law, I don't see a judge granting it. Since a parent can cut off contact at any time why formalize it? The only reason I see is to get out of paying support. But if the TPR doesn't stop support then what's the point?

Your husband is trying to pull a fast one on you. The signed letter that he gave you holds no weight. I pretty should if you present the letter in court the judge would get a good laugh. Any guy who doesn't want to be in their child life would be doing this if it was legal. That's why we have courts for these matters.

Once your child is born go file for child support because no matter what, he has a fiancial obligation to the child. By the way, what state do you live in.

Yes the letter since it actually goes against many support laws will not hold up in court, And no custody issue can be decided outside of the court

Next most states in the US, have laws that make the father liable for certain expenses, for example if the mother and child receive welfare or public assistance, the state can come back after the father for repayment if he is not paying child support,