PDA

View Full Version : Want's to be "friends"


scarletto27
Oct 25, 2008, 01:38 AM
So I met a guy back in February. We dated for a little over a month before he was deployed for 7 months. The relationship progressed very quickly... he even introduced me to his mother. I thought it was obvious that we would "pick up where we left off" when he returned. He said we would keep in touch when he was gone. While we did e-mail once a month or so, his emails were pretty generic. I made it painfully obvious, that I was really interested in him. He has since returned and after only a 1 hour lunch date, he told me that he felt a lot of pressure to jump into a relationship with me and that there were all these expectations upon his return. He's afraid that if we were to date, that it would progress really quickly again. He said he's not ready to be in a relationship and "settle down." We agreed to be "friends", even hang out together just the two of us. (We'll see if that actually happens) I want him to see that I am not needy. My question is, did I scare him away by putting my feelings out there too much, or is he just being weird because of a long deployment ? Are some guys just not ready for a relationship? He thinks a relationship involves losing his freedom, and having to answer to someone. Not my definition.

talaniman
Oct 25, 2008, 08:21 AM
Is he just being weird because of a long deployment

If you can't understand what this soldier has been through, and give him time to adjust back to being a normal human again, then you should leave him alone.

I apologize for any rudeness, but he does need a lot of space right now. There is no telling how he will feel after that, so don't be insecure at this time, be understanding.

Go VERY slow, with him. Don't push.