My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and I am in bits all I keep doing is breaking down in tears and everywhere I go and everything I do reminds me off him I can't take it no more I miss him and I want him back. He is not answering his calls and not answering his text messages so what do I do. The night before he promised he would never leave my side and he would always be here to help and support me but when he broke up with me he said he liked me and loved me with all his heart but could not do it no more and I have not seen him since. What do I do how do I get him back I need as much advice as I can get so if anyone knows what to do then answer my question please :(

Do not call or text him again. Leave him alone. Trust me, you need to show him that you can handle this! It is hard, but you can do it. We have all been through it. Do not contact him again! Let him come to you (if he doesn't, then move on).

Hi, dear, we were all there before, I know the pains, I lost 2kgs after got dumped, didn't want to eat/sleep, my suggest is stop texting/calling him, don't sell yourself short, keep yourself busy,read the threads here, distract yourself from thinking him too much, most of us don't get exes back, want to get him back, the first thing you should do is love yourself.

Busy, Busy, Busy... Keep yourself so busy that you don't have time to let these thoughts get to you. Try to stay with your friends, keep busy with school, read threads on here, give advice.. Anything you can do at all to keep yourself busy will help you.

You need to be distracted from thinking about him as much as possible until some time passes. As time goes on, you will begin to feel better and better, but you need to work at not dwelling on him.

As far as getting him back... its not going to happen. He might come back on his own accord, but you can't "get him back" against his own will. He has already shown that (ignoring calls/texts). Respect yourself, keep your dignity, and start moving on.

The question is, why did he break up with you in the first place? If your at fault it might have something to do with it. If he's at fault then he is just cruel. I wouldn't call or text him anymore.

As emotional, and as much hurt as your feeling now, accept its over, and take your time, and grieve, but leave him alone. It will get better later, and that's a promise. This is a great time to get yourself together, and learn to love yourself.

Sorry, there are no secret pills to change the feelings of others.

What's the reason he opted out? Was it because of you ? If there was apparently no such reason strong enough to lead to what he did, then he did the wrong thing and if at all then, he must realize this on his own and come back to you. In case he doesn't, forget it, because then he's not worth you.
If you think the reason was strong enough and you really did something that you deserved this somewhere as a reaction from him, then let me know, you may have to find a way to reach him and say you are sorry. That would turn my main advise though, so tell me if its this case or the earlier case.

In any case, judge the reason with all fairness, and with no soft corner for him or yourself whatsoever and then post it here.

Sorry to hear about your broken heart. Unfortunately, that is probably why he will not answer your calls or texts. Give it some time (a day or two max). Get yourself together. Remember that most break-ups are temporary, often they are just tests. That's right, he is testing you in a way, to see how far he can push and get away with it.

When he starts answering your calls or, better, calls you because you will have stopped hounding him, you need to accept the break-up and tell him you have been thinking about things and are thankful to have your freedom back. Tell him this as sincerely as you can. He will not expect this and will realize he needs to start thinking about what he did.

Gradually, he will be the one who starts missing you like mad and you should be able to get him back, no problem.

For more help, drop me a line.

Sam,
Relationship Advisor
The Match Maker Review (http://www.thematchmakerreview.com/makingup.html)

I took your advice and I have left it a day or two without phoning or texting him but I have got to the point where I did call his mobile this morning but yet again he never answered I just want him to know how much I love him and want to be with him I want him to see how much pain and hurt I am in cause I miss him so much. But what can I do if he won't answer my calls and text messages. This all started because off me I have been hurt so many times in past relationships emotinally and psycically and I been cheated on so many times one of which one off my ex's turned out to be gay and I found him in bed with another man therefore I have really bad trust problems and I doubt everything but he said he would stick by me and support me and help me through it but the day before he ended it he seen a counsillor and I know I should not off been listening but I heard him say to her that he loved me he wanted to stick by me and do what's best for me and she turned around and said to him that if he wants to do best by me then sit me down and break up with me gently don't answer my calls or text messages and let me move on and after that he promised me he would not listen to her and we would be OK but the next day he was not answering my calls and when he finally did he I was all happy and he just said straight out that he could not do it no more seeing me upset from my past was killing him and he could not do it so we met and sat down he looked into my eyes said he liked me a lot he was sorry but could not do it no more kissed my lips and walked away and I ent seen or heard from him since and now it is really killing me that he is gone I can't take it no more and I don't know what to do no more I really want him back :(
Sorry to hear about your broken heart. Unfortunately, that is probably why he will not answer your calls or texts. Give it some time (a day or two max). Get yourself together. Remember that most break-ups are temporary, often they are just tests. That's right, he is testing you in a way, to see how far he can push and get away with it.

When he starts answering your calls or, better, calls you because you will have stopped hounding him, you need to accept the break-up and tell him you have been thinking about things and are thankful to have your freedom back. Tell him this as sincerely as you can. He will not expect this and will realize he needs to start thinking about what he did.

Gradually, he will be the one who starts missing you like mad and you should be able to get him back, no problem.

For more help, drop me a line.

Sam,
Relationship Advisor
The Match Maker Review (http://www.thematchmakerreview.com/makingup.html)

MissBx,

I'm curious as to why the counsellor would tell him to break up with you. Could it be that there is something about him that could have a potentially devastating effect on your emotions? It just doesn't make sense why a counsellor would give such poor advice unless, say, he was married or something and that seems unlikely...

Anyway, back to your problem. If I were you, I would do what I can to avoid making another phone call. Yes, you want him to know how much you love him, but he already knows this. He knows it every time you call, but even without the call, he would still know it because that is how you left things. Try two days, or three, or even more, but when you call, try to arouse his curiosity by putting a positive tone in your voice. Something like, "Hey, it's me. I just wanted to thank you for something you did, and I wanted to do it in person. Call back when you have a free moment, okay? Take care."

It's important to be overly positive (if you're already a positive person, great). Make sure you've got the biggest smile on your face when you call as it will come through in your voice. The point here is that he will be curious to get back in touch -- why do you want to thank him, he will wonder. And with the positive tone (minus the high "I love you" emotion), he will really wonder what the heck he could have done for you.

Right now, he hears your broken heart and he won't want to deal with it. Can't blame him, right? He has been able to avoid your calls this long, so why not continue...

Anyway, give that a shot and let me know how it goes.

Sam
The Match Maker Review (http://www.thematchmakerreview.com/makingup.html)
Help Get My Ex Back (http://www.helpgetmyexback.com)

I can't take it no more and I don't know what to do no more I really want him back :(

Though Sam is telling you what you want to hear, and feeding you false hope, that's not what you NEED to hear.

Accept his behavior as a hint, to stop contacting him, and leave him alone!! Give yourself some time for the emotional dust to settle, and get on with process of healing, and then you can see things in a more realistic light, and make a better plan that works for you.

Chasing someone who's feelings have changed, is a recipe for misery, pain, and confusion. It will also destroy your confidence, and self esteem, which already has been through a lot. Give your self the chance to regroup, rebuild, and learn to love YOURSELF.

Time to unload the baggage of the past and start fresh.

Thing is though he said he wants to be with me and he loves me but he is walking away to do what is best for me and what I need and he is walking away cause he likes me too much that is what he said to me
Though Sam is telling you what you want to hear, and feeding you false hope, thats not what you NEED to hear.

Accept his behavior as a hint, to stop contacting him, and leave him alone!!! Give yourself some time for the emotional dust to settle, and get on with process of healing, and then you can see things in a more realistic light, and make a better plan that works for you.

Chasing someone who's feelings have changed, is a recipe for misery, pain, and confusion. It will also destroy your confidence, and self esteem, which already has been thru a lot. Give your self the chance to regroup, rebuild, and learn to love YOURSELF.

Time to unload the baggage of the past and start fresh.

He started to see this councillor to get tips and advice on how to help me and what is best for me and how to talk to me about my past and how to over come my problems and find the best ways to talk to me just looks like she gave him the wrong advice I guess and he took that on and did he cause he thought it was best for me I guess when he walked away he said he is doing it because he likes me too much and it is killing him seeing me hurt from my past but it is killing me even me now that he has gone
MissBx,

I'm curious as to why the counsellor would tell him to break up with you. Could it be that there is something about him that could have a potentially devastating effect on your emotions? It just doesn't make sense why a counsellor would give such poor advice unless, say, he was married or something and that seems unlikely...

Anyway, back to your problem. If I were you, I would do what I can to avoid making another phone call. Yes, you want him to know how much you love him, but he already knows this. He knows it every time you call, but even without the call, he would still know it because that is how you left things. Try two days, or three, or even more, but when you call, try to arouse his curiosity by putting a positive tone in your voice. Something like, "Hey, it's me. I just wanted to thank you for something you did, and I wanted to do it in person. Call back when you have a free moment, okay? Take care."

It's important to be overly positive (if you're already a positive person, great). Make sure you've got the biggest smile on your face when you call as it will come through in your voice. The point here is that he will be curious to get back in touch -- why do you want to thank him, he will wonder. And with the positive tone (minus the high "I love you" emotion), he will really wonder what the heck he could have done for you.

Right now, he hears your broken heart and he won't want to deal with it. Can't blame him, right? He has been able to avoid your calls this long, so why not continue....

Anyway, give that a shot and let me know how it goes.

Sam
The Match Maker Review (http://www.thematchmakerreview.com/makingup.html)
Help Get My Ex Back (http://www.helpgetmyexback.com)

Perhaps you should focus on YOU for the time being. What can YOU do for yourself to better your situation. You have got to quit worrying about him... easier said than done, I KNOW. You constantly worrying about him does not help you at all! Focus on yourself and healing yourself. If you guys end up back together, then great, but you have got to try and make yourself better and stronger. The clock starts NOW!

Yeah I guess you are right but its hard when the day before we split he promised he would not leave my side and he loved me and would help me get through it and he said he would never hurt me but what has he done he has broke my heart and hurt me all because a counsillor told him that it would be best for me and he took that on board and acted upon it now I have lost him
Perhaps you should focus on YOU for the time being. What can YOU do for yourself to better your situation. You have got to quit worrying about him...easier said than done, I KNOW. You constantly worrying about him does not help you at all! Focus on yourself and healing yourself. If you guys end up back together, then great, but you have got to try and make yourself better and stronger. The clock starts NOW!!

I know it is hard. I wouldn't be on this website if I wasn't going through the same heart break you are. Just trust everyone... it gets easier. I will tell you flat out, I used to go through all of these, "I wish I could go back and do things differently," thoughts, but now that is gone. I am so much better as a person and an individual now than I was before all of this break up stuff happened. You will be stronger and more equipped to handle things. Just let the storm pass and brave through it. Light will shine at the end of the tunnel and it will be amazing once you see it! You will be fine!

The counsellor should be helping him with his issues, not him with your issues. Hope that makes sense.

Still, you really should give it a few days before calling again. The space will allow you to clear your head so you can properly tackle trying to get him back and will also let him know that you CAN live without him.

I think what some folks here think is that the problem is with you (he dumped you, now you get over it) whereas I see the problem is with him (he dumped you, so that make it HIS problem and his HIS loss... now you have to let him realize this).

So, hope is not lost. The problem is him, not you. The counsellor bit is a concern, I admit. But if he really does love you (who would lie about something like this?? ) you can and will win him back if that is what you want.

Keep me posted.
Sam

It's not about winning him back. Why do people quantify relationships as a game? This is just about helping yourself. The problem is WITH you because you feel like you need him... you DON'T. Give yourself some time to heal. He is the one that walked away from you. Why should you have to WIN him back? If he is weak enough to let a 'cousellor' talk him out of his relationship because of YOUR issues then let him go, and if he wants you back let him pursue that. Do not waste your time constantly trying to think of ways to 'win' him back. Just my opinion... which is fairly worthless to anyone but me. : )

Just my opinion... which is fairly worthless to anyone but me. : )
Your wrong about that, but humble is good.



Its hard when the day before we split he promised he would not leave my side and he loved me and would help me get through it and he said he would never hurt me but what has he done he has broke my heart and hurt me all because a counsillor told him that it would be best for me and he took that on board and acted upon it now I have lost him

No matter where the idea came from the thought was there already, but that's irrelevant, as you put way to much into his words, which don't match his actions, do they???

Yes it's the hardest thing you will ever do but don't chase him any more, at all. Leave him alone and put yourself first!

How about showing him you can live without him by your actions, not by calling him.

If you don't call him for say a month, I think he'll get the hint... it can't get any worse right? Give it a shot.

I will give it a few days then call him again if not I guess I will leave it another week or two until he finally misses me deep down I think he is doing what is best for me but really it ent he just thinks it is. Want to say thanks for the positive responses everyone else just seems to be saying move on get on with it which I don't want to do I believe you have to fight for what you lost and want back and your giving me the best advice I could ask for I know one day I will be back with him and we will be happy again all I got to do is sit and wait I guess :(
The counsellor should be helping him with his issues, not him with your issues. Hope that makes sense.

Still, you really should give it a few days before calling again. The space will allow you to clear your head so you can properly tackle trying to get him back and will also let him know that you CAN live without him.

I think what some folks here think is that the problem is with you (he dumped you, now you get over it) whereas I see the problem is with him (he dumped you, so that make it HIS problem and his HIS loss... now you have to let him realize this).

So, hope is not lost. The problem is him, not you. The counsellor bit is a concern, I admit. But if he really does love you (who would lie about something like this???) you can and will win him back if that is what you want.

Keep me posted.
Sam

I will give it a few days then call him again

Give it a month as was suggested. For your sake.

Maybe I don't want to give it a month of month of the girls been all over him a month off not talking to him a month off hurt and pain from him not been here I can't do it
Give it a month as was suggested. For your sake.

YES YOU CAN! I was dumped after being in a nearly 5 YEAR relationship, and I am on my way to doing it! If I can, YOU CAN. Never sell yourself short and never doubt yourself. It is amazing what we can accomplish when we set our minds to it. None of what I say matters, though as you will do what you want. I know it is hard and none of us will judge you... we are merely trying to help.

He ain't there now, so your in hurt, and pain anyway, so what do you have to lose, except feel better??

Sorry but I just don't believe in that I won't be happy without him so the only way to be happy is to fight for him and get him back I believe you have to fight for what you want and I am going to fight till he is back here with me
He ain't there now, so your in hurt, and pain anyway, so what do you have to lose, except feel better?????

Then good Luck with that!

You came looking for advice and we gave it to you as best we know how. All of this advice comes from experience.

Trust me when I tell you that more than just you have been there. Many of us have felt like there is no tomorrow without the one who just dumped us.

If your not open to suggestions then best of luck with whatever you decide, but I can GUARANTEE you that if you gave it some time, you will realize that you don't need to feel like this forever...

How can sitting and waiting being miserable be any better than trying something new and perhaps getting rid of the misery. Worst case, your right where you are now.

Well I would rather sit here and be miserable knowing that I fought for the man I loved and showed him how much I loved him and fight for him to get him back then go out and pretend he was never here in my life when he was I love him with all my heart and I came here to ask HOW TO GET HIM BACK not tips on how to move on and there has only been one person on here that has showed me how I can get him back not just say move on and get on with it
You came looking for advice and we gave it to you as best we know how. All of this advice comes from experience.

Trust me when I tell you that more than just you have been there. Many of us have felt like there is no tomorrow without the one who just dumped us.

If your not open to suggestions then best of luck with whatever you decide, but I can GUARANTEE you that if you gave it some time, you will realize that you don't need to feel like this forever....

How can sitting and waiting being miserable be any better than trying something new and perhaps getting rid of the misery. Worst case, your right where you are now.

Do you find a desperate man attractive? That is exactly what you are going to look like to him, and it might have the exact opposite effect that you are looking for... Please think about that...

Ultimately I won't change your mind or be able to tell you what do, your mind is made up and you'll do what you want, but I hope that you listen to some of the advice you got here...

True, you asked how to get him back, and I think what you were told is that trying to get him back is not how you should be going about it. It should be more about you being healthy (FYI, the way your acting is not healthy) and being able to see life alone...

Look, I am all with you wanting to go get something you want... that being said, this is a human. This is not a car, a job, an education or some other "material" or "means to and end" object... it is a human, with feelings that can change as fast as the weather. Remember that... this is not a game.

I wish you well and I totally hope you succeed. I would rather see you happy than on here in another day posting about how sad you are that you didn't get your "man" back! I am pulling for you.

Maybe I don't want to be alone hence why I want him back and my health is perfectly OK thank you very much wanting someone back and fighting for them can still mean you have good health
Do you find a desperate man attractive? That is exactly what you are going to look like to him, and it might have the exact opposite effect that you are looking for... Please think about that...

Ultimately I won't change your mind or be able to tell you what do, your mind is made up and you'll do what you want, but I hope that you listen to some of the advice you got here...

True, you asked how to get him back, and I think what you were told is that trying to get him back is not how you should be going about it. It should be more about you being healthy (FYI, the way your acting is not healthy) and being able to see life alone....

You seem about as intrested in what other people have to say.. than your own state of mind.
Every time someone has tried to help you have come pack with a pathetic reply

You are acting desperate needy and clingy.

Please Show some self respect here women.
I mean come on. Listen to what all these people are telling you.

You want you want You want.
Mis selfish or what.
What about what the other guy wants.

We can not! Inforce our own ideas and wants on others.

Everyone on here has told you.
You need to relax and have some pride and self control.

I got pride and I got self control I don't see anything wrong with trying to fight for the man you love and showing him how you feel there is only one person on here that has been telling me what I can do to get my man back and that was the advice I needed
You are acting desperate needy and clingy.

Please Show some self respect here women.
i mean come on. listen to what all these people are telling you.

You want you want You want.
Mis selfish or what.
what about what the other guy wants.

We can not! inforce our own ideas and wants on others.

Everyone on here has told you.
You need to relax and have some pride and self control.

i dont see anything wrong with trying to fight for the man you love and showing him how you feel

He knows how you feel and he doesn't want you fighting for him.

Have you ever thought that you might be pushing him away by doing this?

XxMissBxX;1343637, I got pride and I got self control I don't see anything wrong with trying to fight for the man you love and showing him how you feel
What if he doesn't feel the same? Will you fight on?? Forever, no matter how far he runs??

there is only one person on here that has been telling me what I can do to get my man back and that was the advice I needed
That's what you wanted to hear, but that's not what you needed, come on lets be fair. We want you to be happy, but we won't lie to you, but we will give our opinions, but its your life. If you chose to go down the path of fighting for his love, don't complain if he isn't listening, nor wants you the way you want him.

Your choice, your life, your misery, your pain.

There is something very wrong with this picture. I think there is a missing piece to this puzzle somehow. How would it come about that you would possibly overhear him tell a counselor these things about you? These sessions are usually held behind closed doors.

I know you won't like this at all, and I'm sorry. But, is it possible that you are reading more into things because you are blinded by your own emotions? There is more here than meets the eye. If he was so intent on not hurting you, he wouldn't be avoiding your calls, because he knows that would hurt you. Now does that make sense? It just doesn't add up. Two and two don't add up to six. What I see is him letting himself off the hook, in order not to look like the bad guy, and using his counselor as his excuse for that.

As the others have said, but you haven't sat back and thought about, what you are doing to try and get him back, is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. It makes you look weak, needy, and desperate! Men don't like that.

So listen to the one person on here that is telling you to play games. I almost guarantee that will not work for you, even if you do get him back in the short term, it won't work in the long run.

Good luck!

Lol there is such thing as standing outside the counsillors room and putting your ear against the door listening in to everything which is been said I was not going to carry on letting my boyfriend go tell some stranger things and his feelings that he can't open up to his girlfriend about so I had to find out one way didn't I. I had to find out how he felt and what he was thinking if he could not come to me and tell me about it then I had to do that. And I guess you lot do things different where you come from but here where I live we fight for what we want does not make us needy or desperate but shows we want to fight for the one we love the one who you want to spend the rest of your life with. And he does feel the same cause he broke his heart out as he walked away and ended it told me it was best for me the counsillor told him it was the best thing for me he cried in my arms saying he loved me so much but he has to walk away but he did not want to it killed him looking into my eyes and kissing my lips for the last time before walking away now I am going to fight for him and show him that we can be together and he does not have to listen to what that counsillor said to him and we can work it out and be happy that is called fighting not been desperate and needy but getting back and showing the one you love that you can't let them go
There is something very wrong with this picture. I think there is a missing piece to this puzzle somehow. How would it come about that you would possibly overhear him tell a councellor these things about you? These sessions are usually held behind closed doors.

I know you won't like this at all, and I'm sorry. But, is it possible that you are reading more into things because you are blinded by your own emotions? There is more here than meets the eye. If he was so intent on not hurting you, he wouldn't be avoiding your calls, because he knows that would hurt you. Now does that make sense? It just doesn't add up. Two and two don't add up to six. What I see is him letting himself off the hook, in order not to look like the bad guy, and using his councellor as his excuse for that.

As the others have said, but you haven't sat back and thought about, what you are doing to try and get him back, is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. It makes you look weak, needy, and desperate! Men don't like that.

So go ahead and listen to the one person on here that is telling you to play games. I almost guarantee that will not work for you, even if you do get him back in the short term, it won't work in the long run.

Good luck!

lol there is such thing as standing outside the counsillors room and putting your ear against the door listening in to everything which is been said i was not going to carry on letting my boyfriend go tell some stranger things and his feelings that he can't open up to his girlfriend about so i had to find out one way didnt i. I had to find out how he felt and what he was thinking if he could not come to me and tell me about it then i had to do that. And i guess you lot do things different where you come from but here where i live we fight for what we want does not make us needy or desperate but shows we want to fight for the one we love the one who you want to spend the rest of your life with. And he does feel the same cause he broke his heart out as he walked away and ended it told me it was best for me the counsillor told him it was the best thing for me he cried in my arms saying he loved me so much but he has to walk away but he did not want to it killed him looking into my eyes and kissing my lips for the last time before walking away now i am going to fight for him and show him that we can be together and he does not have to listen to what that counsillor said to him and we can work it out and be happy that is called fighting not been desperate and needy but getting back and showing the one you love that you can't let them go

We DO NOT do things any differently here than you do there. I have family in the UK. My children live there. My ex was a Brit. You are making up excuses. Is this what you call love? Putting your ear up to a door to listen to a private conversation between this man and his counselor? You crossed the line when you did that. You invaded his privacy in the worst way, just for your own satisfaction. This is not my definition of love. This is my definition of control. If he had wanted you to know what he had to say, he either would have told you, or invited you to sit in. You did have other choices! You just chose to spy on him to get information about things he did not want to reveal to you. You violated him. Shame on you for doing that to someone that you apparently love. Next thing you know you will be calling a private detective to do your dirty work. The thing that stood out the most to me is where you said that you "weren't going to LET your boyfriend tell a stranger something" Are you his mother? I assume he is a grown man, and can DO whatever he wants!

Regardless, it's quite apparent that you are only going to listen to the one person here that is telling you what you want to hear. Do you think part of your problem could be that you only listen to what you want to, and get defensive even when the majority tries to give you some good solid advice? Maybe your boyfriend noticed this quality about you too. It's not just me that has noticed this. The others have too, and it's obvious to us over the computer. I can only imagine how obvious this is in person. :rolleyes:

(I would also get your story straight. It kept on changing from where he said he "liked you, then he loved you, then in other posts he just "liked" you again. I'm not sure you are not just wishful thinking here)

You don't know so how dare you tell me what I am what has happened in depth between me and my boyfriend is personal and I would never write on here what has happened to me in the past which has made me feel like this and yeah so what if I invaded his privacy do you think I care he should off come to me instead off been so secretive so yeah and I came on here and asked HOW DO I GET MY BOYFRIEND BACK not for a reality check on myself and like i said there is only one person on here that has stuck to that question and gave me the answers i wanted and its great your kids live over here go England
We DO NOT do things any differently here than you do there. I have family in the UK. My children live there. My ex was a Brit. You are making up excuses. Is this what you call love? Putting your ear up to a door to listen to a private conversation between this man and his councellor? You crossed the line when you did that. You invaded his privacy in the worst way, just for your own satisfaction. This is not my definition of love. This is my definition of control. If he had wanted you to know what he had to say, he either would have told you, or invited you to sit in. You did have other choices! You just chose to spy on him to get information about things he did not want to reveal to you. You violated him. Shame on you for doing that to someone that you apparently love. Next thing you know you will be calling a private detective to do your dirty work. The thing that stood out the most to me is where you said that you "weren't going to LET your boyfriend tell a stranger something" Are you his mother? I assume he is a grown man, and can DO whatever he wants!

Regardless, it's quite apparent that you are only going to listen to the one person here that is telling you what you want to hear. Do you think part of your problem could be that you only listen to what you want to, and get defensive even when the majority tries to give you some good solid advice? Maybe your boyfriend noticed this quality about you too. It's not just me that has noticed this. The others have too, and it's obvious to us over the computer. I can only imagine how obvious this is in person. :rolleyes:

(I would also get your story straight. It kept on changing from where he said he "liked you, then he loved you, then in other posts he just "liked" you again. I'm not sure you are not just wishful thinking here)

Alrighty then. I knew you wouldn't listen to a word anyway, so I will go and answer questions where people actually want help. You can stay here with the one guy that has answered 4 questions, all of which being yours, answers your questions the way you want, and it seems is here only to promote his website. Good luck with that!

How do I get him back?

There are no magic pills, potents, or secrets, to get any one back, that's up to them, to want to come back. Good Luck!!

Had some progress I text him and he text back saying "im sorry beautiful. U'll still have fun but its best if i not come for ur bday, i really like u and the closet we get ther harder it'll be" and then he text me saying "we are both after different things, u want a shag i want a relationship" which I don't think he is using this as an excuse but never once have I told him I just want sex, then I text him back saying I don't just want sex I want a relationship he then text "y didn't u tell me!!!!Bianca you really dont know how amazing you are do u. ur so special and dont ever listen to anyone that tells u different. I've had most in my life urs is just starting and good things are coming ur way" what does this mean I am really confused and how do I show him that it will be OK. He also has a heart condition which means he could drop dead whenever he has already had numerous amounts off heart attacks starting at 13 and he also said that he ent worth been with as by the time I am 30 he probs won't be here how can I show him that I want to be with him and we can make it work and everything that has happened we can put it behind us and start again and make it work what do I say to him to see this :(
There are no magic pills, potents, or secrets, to get any one back, thats up to them, to want to come back. Good Luck!!!

How can I show him that I want to be with him and we can make it work and everything that has happened we can put it behind us and start again and make it work what do I say to him to see this :(


For whatever reason he doesn't feel the same, so leave him alone, and do your own healing. The quicker that happens, the quicker things will be clear to you.

Intense amounts of stress can also be the triggers of heart attacks, do you want to be responsible for a possible risk to his health by stressing him out over this?

I've read through all of this and you seem dead set on not giving up. Let me tell you, I was the Same way MissB, I came here and I was in tears begging these guys to give me some magic pill to solve the problem. They told me to leave her alone and give her space, which I did to some degree but kept talking to her and telling her how much we were in love and that this can't be happening.

She gradually became more bitter towards me as I kept trying, but I remember that we had a promise. She asked me to promise not to "give up on us" and I kept reassuring myself that "I wont give up on you Sophia." and I didn't, everyday I searched the internet for mind tricks, games, tactics to make her feel love for me again. I purchased "get your ex back" e-books and read them inside and out. These are the closest to magical pills that you will find. The only thing that they told me, was to wait a month and fill my life with other things, to call her after a month, try and get her on a casual date and to not mention anything about the relationship, and just have a good time and make him/her miss you.

Well, I thought that this was what I would do. I ended up getting antsy because I thought time was running out and because we had got into a few fights after our breakup. I did the unthinkable and took my parents phones and attempted to fake an accident saying that I was in Texas visiting my friend, we hit a deer and I wasn't wearing my seat belt, and hit my head on the dash and could possibly die due to brain damage.

I was thinking to myself "This is good, she will have a new found appreciation for me and come running back" and do you know what happened? She asked if I was OK and said that she was sorry to hear it, and sorry that she could not be with me and that I could put all my happiness in one person. She did not drop everything to see me, she only texted my "mom" one time after to ask if I was doing OK, That's IT. She moved on so fast and there was absolutely nothing I could do.

At that point I had almost given up, but I decided to make one last stand to get back in her life after a down day. A few months later I called to wish her a happy birthday on October 16th, left a voicemail telling her I hope she was well. My friend called her to ask a question days later, told me that her number was out of service. She changed her number because she was tired of hearing from me/about me. I now have no way of contacting her, and she lives five hours away somewhere that I do not know.

Take it from someone who went against what everyone here said and tried his best anyway, but ended up hanging onto false hope and dragged out an impossible situation and hurt himself more for no reason. I think I know her email address, and I may send her an email to say "I promised to never give up on you, but now I must go". Maybe I won't even do this for my own good, but don't do what I have been doing. I know it sounds like you want to be able to say "I gave a fighting chance to show him how much I love him." But I almost feel that in doing this, you are feeding their ego and making them think they are better than you. Don't give anyone that satisfaction.

MissB, as a girl you should know better than anyone what it is like to have some random guy hit on you, or one of your guy friends tell you that he wants to go out with you, but yet you don't feel the same. This is the same situation, except in reverse. You have emotions of comfort and familiarity, a bond like family, but for whatever reason his ATTRACTION for you is gone, which prevents him from wanting to be in an intimate relationship with you. And you know well that no matter what these other guys have done to try and win your heart, nothing would change your mind, right? This is the same situation.

Hey, how are things working out? Haven't heard from you in a while...

Hey sexy how are you I am good ta started taking the advice off these lot and get on with it myself. So I went out all week every single night and pulled a different guy each night was great to have a different guy in ma bed each night was awsome lol took some pictures too and sent them to ma ex just to rub it in a bit and show him I don't need him and make him jealous and show I am having fun lol thanks for all your advice you made so much sense lol really appreciated it thanks babe hope to hear from you soon x
Hey, how are things working out? Haven't heard from you in a while....

You are REAL mature... exactly the type of girl I want to meet at a bar

Lol shame u live all the way over in america or where ever u are
You are REAL mature...exactly the type of girl I want to meet at a bar

Hey sexy how are you I am good ta started taking the advice off these lot and get on with it myself. So I went out all week every single night and pulled a different guy each night was great to have a different guy in ma bed each night was awsome lol took some pictures too and sent them to ma ex just to rub it in a bit and show him i dont need him and make him jealous and show i am having fun lol thanks for all your advice you made so much sense lol really appreciated it thanks babe hope to hear from ya soon x

And going to the bar and taking another guy home every night, and then sending him pictures is going to get you where? I'll tell you what it's going to get you. It's going to get you a reputation as EASY for one. It just might get you right into the Dr.'s office when you find out you have an STD. Your ex now knows just what kind of shallow and vengeful person you really are, so he will steer clear of you. The other guys will hear how easy you are, and only want you for that and that only. Your ex will warn others about you, so there go some of the guys that could have been good to you, so where did it get you? It got you looking like a foolish and immature little girl. Bright move! Hope that works out well for you when you go on that great job interview, or try and meet a boys parents and family, and every other aspect of your life once your revenge pics start to circulate. Good luck to you then. :rolleyes:

: kctiger:: You are REAL mature... exactly the type of girl I want to meet at a bar

[QUOTE=XxMissBxX;1352059]lol shame u live all the way over in america or where ever u are

I hardly think this was a compliment! WOW!

This smells like BS, I think this is a troll.

You know 'Miss B', a week or so ago, you appeared devastated because your ex broke up with you. You obviously weren't too terribly shook up when you just said that you slept with a different man everynite lastweek. Either you're a troll, or you have some serious problems. I think you are better off in a chat room.

We have people here with "real" problems, and the time we could have spent with someone with a life threatening disease, or the loss of a beloved family member, was wasted here with you and your silly childish games. Go find yourself another playground.

[QUOTE=starbuck8;1352417]And going to the bar and taking another guy home every night, and then sending him pictures is going to get you where? I'll tell you what it's going to get you. It's going to get you a reputation as EASY for one.

I agree with starbuck8 on this one. I had really hoped things might have worked out between you and your ex (I will rarely encourage someone to move on unless there is abuse or cheating). I worry that your ex may now write-off the relationship.

I guess as long as you are happier now than you ever were with your ex or ever could be, then that is great. Just be careful out there and make sure to take some time for yourself.

Best,
Sam

I need time for myself its really hard them when I am seeing him everywhere so I can't exactly forget about him and move on even though I am sleeping with other guys at the end off it my mind just goes back to him and how much I love him and want to be with him but also I want to get back at him for leaving me and hurting me it sucks I really don't know what to do on one hand I want him back and love him again but on the other I am enjoying the single life but am struggling to move on cause I am seeing him everywhere I really don't know what to do I am so confused :(
[QUOTE=starbuck8;1352417]And going to the bar and taking another guy home everynight, and then sending him pictures is going to get you where? I'll tell you what it's going to get you. It's going to get you a reputation as EASY for one.

I agree with starbuck8 on this one. I had really hoped things might have worked out between you and your ex (I will rarely encourage someone to move on unless there is abuse or cheating). I worry that your ex may now write-off the relationship.

I guess as long as you are happier now than you ever were with your ex or ever could be, then that is great. Just be careful out there and make sure to take some time for yourself.

Best,
Sam

You are avoiding facing your feelings, and you are turning to cheap sex, and cheap tricks to cover up your real feelings. That will get you nowhere real fast!

Do you not respect yourself or your body? If you did, you wouldn't be bragging about how great it was to sleep with a different guy every night. That isn't exactly endearing behaviour. In fact it's the opposite. You WON'T make your ex jealous by sending him those pics. BAD MOVE! You WILL regret that. He will have no respect for you now. Is that what you want for someone that you claim to love? If you think you lost him before, you put that final nail in.

You need to stop masking your feelings with physical pleasures, and start concentrating on your personal downfalls and negative traits, and vendictive and vengeful behaviour, if you really want to have a positive relationship with any boy/man.

Ever since my ex broke up with my I have been an emotional mess I have tried to get him back but he just is not having any off it so I accepted it and like a dumbass that I am I got with another guy a couple off weeks after only to have the same thing happen to me again he left me last night said he wanted to be good mates and that is was never going to work I just feel so down its like I love getting my heart broken or something but its really starting to hurt now last night I even got so down that I just wanted to do myself in just to get rid off all this pain nothing in myself brings happiness I am just lost lonely and down all the time and its starting to hurt now I literally cry myself to sleep every night cause I am in so much pain what should I do if any one has any suggestions would love to hear them cause I am at the end of the rope now

I would be happy to help you, as long as you don't get angry this time, and start to get mean spirited with us.

You get too emotionally involved with these boys because you are lonely. The boys will see that you are lonely, and they will take advantage of that. As long as you keep jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend, it's not going to change. If you sleep with them right away, which you do according to your prior posts, you are never going to find a boy that will stick around for long.

You have to work on yourself first. Get yourself involved in other activities. Different ones from what you've done in the past. Meet boys at different places, where you might have something in common! I don't know what kind of activities you are interested in, but sit and write them down, and get yourself involved in one or two of them.

You are only setting yourself up for more heartbreak, if you keep on dwelling on these boys that weren't right for you in the beginning. Have more respect for yourself, and in turn the boys will have more respect for you, and you won't always be sitting at home lonely and feeling the way you do.

You are going about it the wrong way. Boys are attracted to girls that have confidence in themselves. Work on that first, and you will see that a whole different type of boys will approach you.

Just remember, if you give up sex right away, you are likely to get dumped and be hurt once again. There is no boy worth thinking about "ending" it over... not one!

First of all, you need to love yourself more. Do not sleep with another guy because you feel lonely. Any guy that would do that, in my book, is a user. Don't get used by other people, you are too good for that. There are true gentlemen in this world, trust me! These boys you use to make yourself happy for a short amount of time are not people you should associate yourself with.

One thing I found to do that helps a lot is to volunteer and help others out. Get your a$$ on this website more, and instead of asking for advice, give it to others who are in the same boat that you are. Self pitty is not good at all. I try as much as I can to help others out to clear myself pitty, as it is a good way to set up karma.

You aren't at the end of the rope. You determine how long the rope is, and you have shortened it by your own actions. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a smart, attractive young woman that can take on the world by HERSELF! You can, so get up and do it. Life is waiting for you, so quit making it wait and start showing the world who you truly are.

I know someone that seems to be in one relationship after another. I wouldn't be surprised if it's a new guy every month and she claims to be in love with every single one of them, is absolutely crushed when they break up with her and 2 days later she's got a new boyfriend. I don't know how people can do that. I can't imagine the emotional stress that must create. Bottom line, don't do what my friend does. Take some time to heal after a break-up and don't be in a hurry to start a new relationship.

You will cry and feel bad, this will probarly last longer than a day, do what will make you feel better, speak to someone close or be alone. Give yourself some time... and don't keep contacting him, it won't make you feel any better.. I promise after a while you cry less, and the pain in your heart isn't as strong... hopefully it goes away for good, don't know because I'm not there yet