My wife and I have married for 23 years. She is 46, slim and attractive. She's always possessed high moral standards and is a regular churchgoer.
Several months ago several things occurred that kind of through me off and affected my trust in her. They are the result of her always having close male friends with guys that are attracted to her.
1) She is a teacher and had to attend her high school graduation that started at 7 PM. The event was scheduled to end by 10 at the latest. Around 11 PM I started worrying about her and called her cell phone. She did not answer. I tried texting her but she did not reply. We are both early birds so her staying out late is unusual. Around 11:30 I got in my car and went to the graduation location. There were no cars there. I was returning home when she called shortly prior to midnight. She told me she went out with the gang for a late dinner. She had left her phone in the car. Strange that she didn't tell me as she drove to the place they had dinner, but I believed her.
2) The next morning, as she slept in, I check her cell phone text messages. She had many messages from a fellow teacher named Kevin. Kevin is about 10 years younger and is married to a woman that recently became very overweight. The messages ranged from common teacher complaints to personal. None of them red flags, but many were of the nature that I would never send to a female co-worker due to my being married and workplace etiquette.
3) She had a teacher conference 60 miles away at a beach hotel. Kevin would also attend the meeting. This was a 2 night meeting that occurred on Friday and Saturday nights. Usually we invite each other when we get free hotel rooms at fun locations. "Hotel sex"! As the meeting date approached I waited for my invite. It never happened. After her 1st night there I called her and ask her why she didn't invite me. She responded that she didn't think I wanted to go ( I'd never turned her down in the past).
When she returned home I secretly went through her suitcase. I discovered she had taken a sexy short blue silk robe and a pair of black satin string bikini panties. Why would she take a sexy robe when she had the room to herself at a very warm beach hotel. When she gets ready to go out at home she does it naked. She is a cotton panty girl. She only wears sexy panties when we go out on dates and she has sex in mind.
A couple days later I confronted her calmly with her unusual behavior recently. I questioned her disappearance on graduation night, the text messages with Kevin and her going to the hotel solo. I told her that I saw several text messages I was very uncomfortable with (she didn't question which messages I saw). She denied everything. I've noticed now that she quickly deletes her text messages.
Am I reading too much into her behavior or do you think she's up to something?

I think you have a right to be concerned. If this has never been her behavior before, something MIGHT be happening. If something is happening, she might settle down a bit because you are suspicious and have confronted her. It seems she will not admit to it. Have you ever thought of following her on her next outing? I know some people might be against that.

1. of course why did you not ask about going before she went, you waited for her to ask ? No you say well it looks like we will have a good trip. Sorry

2, there is not communication going on.

3. looking though her phone, does she know ?

Sorry trust is gone, even if she is not cheating you will never believe it at this point anyway

1. of course why did you not ask about going before she went, you waited for her to ask ? no you say well it looks like we will have a good trip. Sorry

2, there is not communication going on.

3. looking though her phone, does she know ?

sorry trust is gone, even if she is not cheating you will never beleive it at this point anyway

Sorry, I couldn't give you a greenie. Had to spread some reputation around. Very true. The trust is gone. He won't know until it is proven.

Signs are there with her new string panties and sexy stuff that she's either having an affair or soon to be having an affair. I do know many who have rebuilt the "trust" in their marriage and survived affairs so don't throw in the towel. That's for you two to decide and no one else whether you can rebuild that "trust". Mundane life; she's looking for excitement; something different; you can do that; the two of you can do that but she'll have to want to also save the marriage she's spent 23 yrs in. Communiate with her and do it now... just tell her you know about Kevin and see what her response is... give her the floor then to talk.

1. of course why did you not ask about going before she went, you waited for her to ask ? no you say well it looks like we will have a good trip. Sorry

2, there is not communication going on.

3. looking though her phone, does she know ?

sorry trust is gone, even if she is not cheating you will never beleive it at this point anyway

My wife had numerous opportunities to invite me to the hotel the weeks prior. It's always a given the other can tag along when it's practical. But common courtesy calls for an invite.
As for no communication, I clearly stated I had a discussion with her and she denied it. Even after I brought up specifics like the text messages, she denied. She did not want to discuss this topic.
As for questioning my going through her cell phone text messages, I checked several respected marriage websites that encouraged doing this when one suspects a partner. Bottom line, why would a spouse ever be nervous about their mate looking at their text messages? I would let anyone see mine, I have nothing to hide.

If that's all you got, you got nothing, nada! Innuendos, and assumptions, don't cut it, when the subject is so serious.

Where has the communications gone?

I think you tell her how you honestly feel, and if there is no reassurance, JUST denials, then its time to take some kind of actions to get at the truth.

Be aware if she is doing nothing, your lack of trust will be a wedge between you. Worse than it already is.

Is this the first time this has come up, or has it happened before??