View Full Version : How can I get my mom back?
payasa14
Oct 18, 2008, 06:30 PM
Well, Im a 19 y/o and Im about to have a baby. I moved back in with my mom since my husband went to prison. I don't go out, I don't talk to any friends, I pretty much just stay locked up in my house. My parents are divorced but my dad really isn't part of my life. My mom works monday-friday so I really don't get to see her that much and friday-sunday she goes out with her friends and don't come back until about 7 in the morning. I love just being able to go to the store with her. Ever since I got back I haven't really got to spend time with her. She's always gone and I really feel really lonely. I feel like they stole my mom from me. Just to spend time with her I go sleep with her in the mornings but that's pretty much all the time I get with her and I hate it. I don't mind her going out but if she could still make time for my little sister and me. Is it dumb for me to still want to spend time with my mom when Im about to be one myself? How can I ask her to spend every other Saturday with us with out her thinking I'm trying to take her fun away? I wouldn't mind just sitting at home watching movies like we did when I was little. How can I get my old mom back?
liz28
Oct 18, 2008, 06:41 PM
Have you tried talking with her maybe making plans with her for the both of you to hang out? Like you said, even watching a movie will be great. Express how your feelings to her.
payasa14
Oct 18, 2008, 07:21 PM
Yes I have and all she says is "Oh my gosh stop it." so I just don't even ask if she wants to do something together. Its like she don't care what I feel or I'm just being a baby.
TrueFaith
Oct 18, 2008, 08:46 PM
No one has stolen your mom my dear.
She Does this because she wants to. Sadly her friends and going out is more important. Fact.
You have spoken to her and she says oh stop it. And you are not being a baby. However you do have one along the way.
Your mom likes to party and the father of your child is in prison.
I must say that is pretty tough on anyone
Even more so on someone that is 19.
I think your main focus should be your baby. You should try and get your life together and work for a better futuer. Because I'm sure you don't want your baby to go threw what you have had to right?
I don't think you will get your mom to change. Unless she wants to, anything you will say will just be brushed off. However change yourself learn to love yourself.
I have a lot of personal feelings about this subject by the way. It hits close to home
I do know this. If you focus on yourself and your child and are willing to make a bright futuer for you both. You will get there
Bural21
Oct 18, 2008, 08:47 PM
You should sit her down and talk to her. She is your mother after all, and your about to have a baby. You need her a lot right now in my opinion. Ask her out to lunch, or to watch a movie at home. Or even to grab coffee (or tea without caffeine for you). Your mother SHOULD be there.
talaniman
Oct 18, 2008, 09:22 PM
Things are tough for you now, and you could use some support from your mom, but she isn't there for you, which is sad.
I think its up to you to rebuild your life and find some happiness for yourself, even if that's with one sympathetic person to be friends with.
Isolating yourself from the rest of the world, is never a solution, and you really need to love yourself enough to find things you enjoy doing, and good people to be around.
Expecting much from your mom in the way of support, is not realistic. Sorry, but its up to you to build a life that you enjoy. Start with a job, or some job training. Being independent will help you greatly.
JBeaucaire
Oct 18, 2008, 11:37 PM
There's a BIG difference between crying to your mom about how she doesn't make time for you, thus coming across like a whiny baby, there's a BIG difference between that and saying to your mom, "I really enjoy our talks. We should have lunch tomorrow afternoon and go shopping. What do you think?"
Hear the difference? Be that girl. Everyone likes being complimented. Ask your mom out specifically for certain things at certain times. No indiscriminate whining and complaining about how she DOES spend her time.
Praise her. Then praise her some more. We ALL like to be around people who admire us and praise us. This may take a little time and a lot of sincere "admiration" on your part, but she'll come around.
No nagging.
mikedem7
Oct 19, 2008, 04:50 AM
Write the question on a piece of paper and leave it where she can find it and let her make a decision.