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View Full Version : Am I being too paranoid and demanding?


High Max
Oct 17, 2008, 06:26 PM
So today, I was doing some walking and answering questions at the bank I work at. I work at a call center, so I was essentially makes you a supervisor for awhile, so I'm sure it made me look good and showed that I am not just average joe working there. ANYWAY, there was this girl who had a few questions, and we kind of chatted and teased, flirted too. She smiled at me a lot. She was getting ready to leave to go home but kept talking to me, like waiting for me to ask her number. Which I did. I got her number, and have been texting her.

She takes awhile to reply, and hasn't replied to my last one for awhile. Does this mean she isn't interested, or am I reading into this way too much for only knowing her one day? This may seem ridiculous to you guys, but I really want to get back into dating and finally forget about my almost fiancé that I lost over the summer. I'm just so scared that I am going to get turned down and stay single forever. =/

JBeaucaire
Oct 18, 2008, 12:02 AM
What it means is "STOP WATCHING THE TEXT SCREEN". Texts are fun, but they aren't conversations. Real life is going on in the mean time.

Sending a text off into the ether, then trying to put any rational thought behind why it takes however long for that person to answer is unequivocally NUTS.

She gave you her number. Use it to CALL HER and talk to her. It sounds like you have an unhealthy expectation of people regarding how fast they MUST reply to texts before you go into "holy cow" mode.

Call her. Ask her out. THAT'S how you get back into the dating game.

And BTW, being afraid of getting turned down is the #1 WORST reason to not ask someone out. Be a lot less self-involved here and you'll not only be more comfortable in your own skin, you'll BE more fun to be around.

High Max
Oct 19, 2008, 03:44 PM
Meh, I called and got her voicemail. Now I feel discouraged. :( It's so hard doing this stuff again after being in a relationship for so long.

SimpleguyJoe
Oct 19, 2008, 09:13 PM
You are reading too much into this. Here is what you got to do.
1. Take JB's advice he has never set anyone on the wrong track.
2. Cell phones go to voicemail all the time by accident. Might of just been bad timing so call her again maybe tomorrow and see what becomes of it. She is obviously intrested in you she gave you her number and it does lead to her phone. This is one of the first signs she is intrested. If she was unintrested she would have made up an excuse and you would be numberless right now.
3. Have more confidence in yourself it looks attractive to the females ;).

And yea who cares about the text thing, think about it rationally. Your not going to get to know and start dating this girl in one night. Also girls follow a lot of the same rules as us guys do. She might be taking awhile to text back because she does not want to seem too intrested in and look like a clinger and scare you off in two days. So between that and her life of course it's going to take awhile to text back.

So take your time, have some confidence in yourself for gods sake and get yourself back into the game.

High Max
Oct 20, 2008, 05:26 AM
Maybe I am reading into it too much. I mean I do come off appearing to have confidence even though I may not feel it so much inside. I just get worried, because these kinds of things don't happen often and I am afraid that I will lose all my chances and be stuck alone.

The interaction with her was pretty solid and Friday night we texted a bit, she wasn't acting cold or turned off by any means. Maybe I will try again in a few days, but I don't know how much I should try before just giving up on it.

SimpleguyJoe
Oct 20, 2008, 03:30 PM
Well the thing about it is you don't have to really give up, unless she asks you to stop talking to her. You could potentially text her and talk with her for months before anything real happens. It is whatever you make of it.