Ok first up I have used this site before for break up advice and such when my girlfriend of 1.5 years broke up with me. The advice was great and so I now know how to deal with break ups and such so that is not so much the problem with this one.

So about 8 months after my break up I started seeing this girl as friends to begin with we hang out for about a month, seeing each other once a week and every time we got closer and closer, finally we decided to become a couple.

Im 22, she is 19 but turns 20 this year.
And unfortunately this relationship only lasted about 2 months.

She is also a religious girl and utterly devoted to her church (christian) and I know she wants some form of career with the church as she wants to help people and children. She also currently works sooo many hours for them and gets paid pretty much nothing.

After we became a couple she had me seeing her parents hanging out with her friends and such she wanted me in her circle and I was doing this for her and trying to be a good boyfriend. She was proud of me as her boyrfriend and even up until we broke up always said how good I was.

Now all of a sudden it stopped, I wanted her time I was giving up some things that I had to be with her, yet she wouldn't sacrifice anything of hers, it was all about me giving and nothing she could give.

We never argued, we had great times when we were together (which was so few sadly only a couple of times a week)

She broke up with me over the phone, she said it was one of the hardest things she's ever done, she said a relationship should be neutral she can't make me happy because she is stressed out with things in her life (I know this is true) and she won't give me her time she said she wants to be very good friends with me but I said shed have to give me sometime to get over her first (as I know no contact works wonders).

Now from this take, I cannot see from anything that we went through that she doesn't like me or that she possibly lost attraction, so I'm going with the fact that she is stressed with parts of her life and she happens to be going away for a month to in a couple of weeks so I know this is probably not the best time for a relationship with the girl.

Now here is where I need advice,
Should I be her good friend, e.g.. Talk to her sometimes when she needs a friend, hang out on occasions. Or is it going to be too hard to do that for someone when I really really had feelings for this girl ( I got along so damn well with her)? Everyone that I've talked to says I should be her friend its just a rough time for her atm, but they also say who knows down the track you guys might happen again.

I know that hanging on to something is a bad idea, so I want your take on this, tell me what I should do, and if any of you guys have been in relationships like this.

Thanks in advance.

If she needs your help, be there for her. If you feel comfortable hanging out with her without the talk of relationship coming up, go for it. Just don't put yourself into a position where you could potentially get hurt. If things are tough for her right now, the thing she could use the most is a true friend. So at least be that.

We can't predict how emotionally mature you're going to be, but you probably can. There's no reason to believe you don't have it in you to be a friend to this girl, you only dated briefly, right?

If EVERY girl you ever date for short or long has to become an emotional pariah, then you have some maturing to do.

Meanwhile, YOU have to answer this question. Are you capable of accepting the simple truth that you two aren't "that way" and go back normal friends? And by normal, I mean you don't pine after her all the time.

Can you do that? Whatever the answer to that is also the answer to your question.

We can't predict how emotionally mature you're going to be, but you probably can. There's no reason to believe you don't have it in you to be a friend to this girl, you only dated briefly, right?

If EVERY girl you ever date for short or long has to become an emotional pariah, then you have some maturing to do.

Meanwhile, YOU have to answer this question. Are you capable of accepting the simple truth that you two aren't "that way" and go back normal friends. An by normal, I mean you don't pine after all the time.

Can you do that? Whatever the answer to that is also the answer to your question.

Hmm, basically when we broke up she said, she didn't want me to wait for her, she said she just can't take the pressure of trying to please me and please all the other people that are nagging her, I never nagged her but she could tell I was frustrated with the lack of time we spent together in later weeks, this was all warranted from the fact she sucked me in from the get-go meeting family and friends and such.

I totally understand her view point that she won't make me happy because shehas too much in her life right now, I kind of intruded into it, I mean it was probably so unexpected for her to feel this way about someone and then she just couldn't handle it, trying to give me time whilst having so many other things to do for the church, herself, her sport.

She was pretty unhappy with things in her life, before she met me, so I didn't cause these problems but when she was with me she seemed so happy I just can't understand it I guess but who does?

I really do want to be her friend but I also know I want to be her boyfriend more but the latter is never going to happen.

I understand what your saying about being an emotional pariah but I totally fell for this girl, its something I rarely do, I turn most girls down, but I truly cared for her I'm not sure how it happened but it did and I guess that is why this is harder for me to comprehend.

I'm going to try be her friend and see how that goes for me.

Hmm, basically when we broke up she said, she didn't want me to wait for her,...

I really do want to be her friend but I also know I want to be her boyfriend more... but [that] is never going to happen.

I understand what your saying about being an emotional pariah but i totally fell for this girl...

I'm going to try be her friend and see how that goes for me.Well, what can you do. You're going to be her friend and see how it goes for you? Notice the problem here?

Anyway, good luck. Emotions aren't under your control, so you'll NEVER be able to quantify why you like one girl and not another, and one likes you and another doesn't. It's a cosmic pinball volley. You're supposed to keep playing until you and a girl are playing the same game, but what can you do?

But... you get to choose your own particular hell (one of my new pet sayings). Sounds like you've chosen. I do wish you the best, but keep the exits in sight... it's going to get hot.