About the only thing I've asked my husband for is respect: over the years I've heard things like---- he can't say, "woman" without saying "f---ing woman", "the week before, the week of, and the week after" (my period) "what good are you to me?" "your discuss me" I've been called stupid so much, I'm beginning to think I am stupid. "hay woman, feed me." This man has no repect for any women. I've asked and asked, just talk desent to me, please. He's roughed me up a few times, pointed a gun at me, raped me, and used me. I've been told, "you ever leave me, and I'll kill you, I'll hunt you down and kill you. I have loved this man, given my all, we have two great kids, and are about to retire. Because of his abusive words to me over the years, I'm not a good sex partner, and I can't bring myself to enjoy sex, because these things run through my mind. Because I'm not a good sex partner, things just get worse! I am open to any suggestion, please, I need some good advise.

OK, you need to get out of that relationship, there is soooo much abuse on so many levels! You do not deserve this, it is not your fault at all, he has problems! I feel very sad for you. Please find a friend or family member to help you out of that situation.

You've been married 30 years to this? It's always been this way?

Get some help... He is dominating you, you have to get some help or it could get worse. He has the problem not you he has just said so many times that your starting to believe it but this is HIS PROBLEM and it is NOT YOUR FAULT you've done nothing to make him this way there could be endless reasons he acting this way but the main thing now is to concentrate on you and your well being.. GEt out now get some help.. Do you have children. If so do you want this for your kids? Of course not go talk to your pastor mom, councler anyone just start by telling some one please.


Take care

It always amazes me when I read these posts from women. Do you realize there are men out there that don't treat women like this?

The problem here is you. He's and a$$, that isn't going to change. You have to look deep inside and ask yourself why you feel like you have to put up with this. Why do you feel like you have get his approval to live your life? What's he done that requires anybody's approval? Would you want your children to live with someone like him? Then why is it okay for you to do?

She's been with him 30 years, they have two children and they're about ready to retire... and I'm assuming that he's treated her like this for years. Something's seriously wrong with this picture...
No woman should put up with that kind of abuse or HAVE to put up with it, especially when there are children involved... and you know those kids have either seen it or heard it...
I'm with Chuff... I am totally amazed! Did you actually put up with that for the entire 30 years?
I would have called his bluff, packed up and hauled out a LONG time ago... kids or no kids!

THERE IS HELP OUT THERE... go get it! NOW!

Usually I am AGAINST telling people to break up with others because I feel it isn't my decision to make, however, in a situation such as yours I believe you should get run for the hills. This man seems mentaly unstable and you need to get as far away as possible, this is not a healthy relationship and the children should not be exposed to a man such as him.

Get some help fast and get out, like you should have 30 years ago!

Go to the Human Resource department in your area, and talk with a counselor, and get,a referral to a shelter, and counseling.

Its never to late to get your life together.