View Full Version : One-sided love
vmgeraldizo
Oct 12, 2008, 09:45 PM
Good day!
I just want to ask for some advice. Hope you guys can help me about this because it's making me tired of thinking on what am I suppose to do. I have this crush before. He's a type of my ideal guy. We had this mutual understanding thing and he courted me but I rejected him, because I want to focus on my studies. I explained it to him. He understands and promised me that he will wait.unfortunately, I just heard rumors that he is dating with someone. The feeling sucks because he never told me. I trusted him but he only broke it.
Right now, I'm still stuck with my past because I don't want to feel the same feeling I felt before. My friends told me that I must move on and forget about him. Honestly, I still can't forget about him because he's a special guy for me in spite of what he had done. Maybe you can say that I'm an idiot but then again I really still cares for that guy. I'm in college now I've realized that I need to stop so that I can be free. I can't help it. How can I move on?what am I suppose to do so that I can get over him?so that I can forget this feeling?am I in love with him?
Please help me guys! I really needed your advice so badly.
Thanks a lot:)
JBeaucaire
Oct 13, 2008, 12:21 AM
You knew the "I'll wait" promise always included the clause "unless I fall for someone else in the meantime." You knew that, even if you never said it out loud.
You chose wisely. College is more important than mildly developed relationships. You're more upset that your backup plan guy has taken himself out of the backup plan than you are about anything else. Your life is STILL heading in the exact direction you chose.
In truth, and I hope you see this, you haven't lost anything. Everything is the same except more honest than it was before. You're focusing on studies... he's letting you... and you're both focusing on your own lives. Perfect.
Your old feelings won't go away and they don't need to. They're not even a problem unless you sit there staring at them alone in your dorm room. Cut that out. We've all been in college. There is PLENTY to do to keep you busy, focused and to fill the evenings.
If you're not taking full advantage of the social options available to you, time to start! The only surefire cure for silence is noise. So, make some noise.
You'll still think of him now and again, and that is actually fine. I've been married 23 years and occasionally think back on my first loves. Those memories are good ones. Let them be.
Get busy. Then get more busy.
vmgeraldizo
Oct 13, 2008, 03:59 AM
You knew the "I'll wait" promise always included the clause "unless I fall for someone else in the meantime." You knew that, even if you never said it out loud.
You chose wisely. College is more important than mildly developed relationships. You're more upset that your backup plan guy has taken himself out of the backup plan than you are about anything else. Your life is STILL heading in the exact direction you chose.
In truth, and I hope you see this, you haven't lost anything. Everything is the same except more honest than it was before. You're focusing on studies...he's letting you...and you're both focusing on your own lives. Perfect.
Your old feelings won't go away and they don't need to. They're not even a problem unless you sit there staring at them alone in your dorm room. Cut that out. We've all been in college. There is PLENTY to do to keep you busy, focused and to fill the evenings.
If you're not taking full advantage of the social options available to you, time to start! The only surefire cure for silence is noise. So, make some noise.
You'll still think of him now and again, and that is actually fine. I've been married 23 years and occasionally think back on my first loves. Those memories are good ones. Let them be.
Get busy. Then get more busy.
Hi there!
Thanks a lot for that advice.I'm looking forward to get busy. HE may forget me but the memories I've shared with him will be treasured here in my heart. Hope I can meet mr.right one.hahahah.im not looking for him. I'm letting my fate cross our paths.
Good luck and more happiness to you and to your family..
JBeaucaire
Oct 13, 2008, 11:34 AM
It's far more useful for you to BE Miss Right than it is to be hunting down the Mister. Be true to yourself and your values, get REALLY comfortable in your own skin (with or without a b/f), and define happiness as having plenty of ways in your life bring smiles to the faces of those around you... lead a life that benefits other people.
That's a very attractive person. Be that person, watch what you attract THEN.
Take care.
johnster2008
Oct 15, 2008, 03:51 PM
For one if he was so special he'd wait for you!And second he has no respect for your education! It takes education now days for a brite future! So move on! The best guy for you is in the near future! You will know when you find him! You will fell much different!And he will understand you more than you know! Be patient! It will pay off!! Move on!! Dump him!
tomoros_dream
Oct 17, 2008, 01:01 PM
You said that "he's a type of my ideal guy" and yet you didn't trust him enough to help you and support you through your studies.
A relationship is about love and support and so if he or you cannot be together and help and support each other through important moments in life. Is he really what you want.