Hello all.

I've recently stumbled upon a good looking gal that I just so happen to work with. We don't work together AT ALL. We just work in the same building. Let's get something straight first... she has a 3 year old kid, and is still living with the dad. They've had some rough times together, and they are not a couple anymore. They are still living together for the sake of the child and they're friends.

So, with that being said, we've been only able to email each other while at work. We rarely see each other at work, so we're basically stuck emailing back and forth. Right now, I'm not very interested in having a kid to take care of. So I've kind of made up my mind that I don't really want to be more than friends. But the past few weeks, we've finally decided to "hang out" some night. You would think that I would be really nervous... but I'm not. When we do see each other I don't get nervous or anything. Part of me thinks that she likes me, so I don't really want to lead her on thinking that I want more than just friends. I get confused in these types of situations, and I've made other mistakes in trying to read girls "signals". So right now, I'm just sort of not expecting anything. And with having a kid, that just makes it harder to move past being "just friends". And having the ex living with her is not too exciting either.

Talking to her and getting to know her a little bit makes me think that we could have a good time together. I'm trying to think of this situation of going out with one of my buddies and we're out having a good time. That way, the conversations don't get too heavy, and it can be a carefree atmosphere. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Find a common interest where you guys can kind of joke and kid around. Just be weary though, if you're conscious of getting into deep conversations, you may be too quiet, creating an awkward silences. Also joking around can be considered flirting too.

No, she is still living with the father of the child, sorry, if this was the women asking the same question about the man, we would say, he is lying, don't trust him and don't have anything to do withthem until they are free.

I would say same advice applies, you don't "live with" for a child's sake,

So in a year of you dating them? Do they still live for sake of the child, and you have to sneak around to see her

Revival- I hear you... I'm sure we'll find something to talk about. We're both pretty shy, and since our conversations have only been via email, it might be a tough time. We can make each other laugh, and that's how I get through most days. I can be serious too. I understand about the whole joking around can be flirting. I'll admit to doing it.

Fr Chuck-I'm not sure if you fully understand the whole situation... this ex boyfriend of hers were together for a good period, and then he did something that she says she'll never forget. Then they broke it off. I understand what you're saying about them still living together, and I can see them getting back together. Personally I think this is a great situation for me... I don't want to get too involved, and this is something that would stop me from doing so. She's expressed her feelings about that whole situation.

Right now, I don't think I would date her. She just seems like a good friend I would like to get to know, and have a good time with. I don't see myself getting too attached if that's what people are thinking either.

If she is clear about the fact that you are not interested in her, then it is fine to go out as friends. HOWEVER, if part of you is interested in her or if she is interested in you, don't do it. The fact that she is still living with her ex is a huge red flag!! She is using their kid as an excuse to not move on - for whatever reason.

I get that, and that's why I'm a little confused, and I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I have a feeling that she thinks I kind of am interested. And I have a feeling that she is kind of interested in me. But again, I could be totally wrong. That's why I think maybe getting together to actually talk, we can figure it all out. Maybe we'll both realize that there is nothing there.

We're just hanging out! It's 2 people going out to get something to eat, and that's it! I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Can't we both just have a good time and enjoy each others company?

Thanks for the input all!

We're just hanging out! It's 2 people going out to get something to eat, and that's it! I'm not looking for a relationship right now. Can't we both just have a good time and enjoy each others company?I've read that 3 times and I'm not convinced. From the outside looking in, I say you are fooling yourself, and you're playing with a fire that is also someone's "mom".

If you want to "hang out", keep it in the lunchroom. No, come to think of it, a lot of bad starts with innocent lunches, too.

If you're not 100% in dealing with/owning all the crap/baggage she has to attend to including live-in exes and permanent residence children, leave her alone. That's the mature thing to do.

I went out to the bars recently, and she was there too. We ended up hanging out for part of the night at the bars and having a good time. It was a group of my friends, and a group of her friends. We both seemed to have a good time. A good friend of mine told me that her kid shouldn't hold me back from liking her... but from what you guys are telling me, I should run! Haha.

I'm not looking for a relationship, maybe just some fun ;) But it definitely sucks because her ex lives with her, and I live at home. I'm not even sure what "their" status is to each other anymore. Would it be OK if I asked if they are together??

You can do anything you want as long as you welcome the drama that follows with open arms.

You can't kick someone's tree and then complain that there's stuff falling from their branches... but people do it all the time.

Don't be like them. Accept the ramifications that come with the choices you make. ACCEPT it. Ahead of time.