Can anybody tell me how much rights a stepparent has to a child if the parents divorce. The situation is this. The couple has split up the bio father allowed the stepmom to adoptmy grandaughter who was with the biological father. When they split he left my grandaughter in the home with the stepmom so she does not get pulled out of the school she is going to , Now because she is staying there she will not let me talk to her on the phone she won't let me have her on overnights etc. And these are all approved by the bio dad, but if he sais its OK for me to take her she then won't let him see her either. So I need to know if he holds more rights than what she does and what can be done.

I guess since she legally adopted your granddaughter she has rights whether to let her stay over at your house or not. What does your son say about this? It seems that she has custody since your granddaughter stay with her but is there a custody order in order?

Morally, this is wrong to shut the grandmother out of a child's life especially one that wants to be in it. Have you had any argument with her lately? How was the relationship between your two before the split?

What state do you live in because you might have grandparents rights. Hope you come back.

Once she adopted the child she has full rights just like the natural parent would. She is the legal parent.

Your child needs to get involved to allow you to see child

I'm a little confused by this. A bio father can't allow stepmom to adopt. The bio mother has to allow it by relinquishing her rights in favor of the stepmom.

If there was a legal adoption, then the stopmom is no longer a stepmom but the legal mother with the full rights and responsibilities as if she was the natural mother.

What rights she has to control visitation by other familiy members should be spelled out in the divorce agreement. She can't just cut off the father if there is a court ordered visitation.

Some states also have grandparent rights. You may be able to file for visitation and be granted it and the legal mother may not be able to stop it.

Do you know why she is refusing you visitation? It would be better if you can work out some amicable agreement to allow you time with your granddaughter. If you are forced to use the courts to get visitation it could get uglier. But if that's your only option its up to you if you want to pursue it.

But get the fact that she was once a stepmom out of your mind. If there was a legal adoption she is the legal mom.

Thank you both for responding. There is no custody order in place the only reason my grandaughter is staying with the stepmom is because she has stepsisters for one and the other is the dad did not want to take her away from her school . He is not my son he is the bio father my daughter and he never married that is why she signed rights over to him before she passed away. The Bio dad has stepped in numerous times and told her to let me see her the problems as I said is if he gets in my corner too much she keeps all his children from him and because of his work he does not get to see them as much as he wants now so he does not want to ruffle her feathers. The sad truth on this if I must be honest is the stepmom hated my daughter and she has always used my grandaughter as a pawn against me. She is not nice to this child , she is a teacher in the child's school and she has told the child's teacher she is a chronic lier not to trust her and so on,she tells the child she is fat and so on, the bio dad has been told all this but he said until my grandaughter comes to him he does not want to make waves. I explained to him she is so afraid of the reprecussions from the stepmom that she is afraid to tell him how she really feels. I am so sad for this child when she does get to visit she is so happy go lucky and not a care in the worldshe laughs and plays and when she knows its time to go back home she gets figgity and very quiet and sad. The stepmom is so difficult that when I told the bio dad I would like to take the child on vacation this year to Disney she wigged out and said it is not my place to take her there that that is for the parents to do, I know she can't afford it so I offered to pay her way so she could be there and she out right said no I had no business even suggesting it and that I was out of line. I just don't understand how someone could be this terrible the child tells me how she does not want to be there but I don't want to say anything to her for fear that stepmom might misconstrue it as interferring, I try to stay very nuetral as not to tick her off . And in answer to your question no I have not done anything to make her mad other than to ask to take her on vacation. And I live in NJ

Ok, the bio mother was your daughter. She died, why did she have to sign over rights to him at that point? If one parent dies, the other legal parent automatically has custody.

Did the stepmom actually adopt? If she did not, then you may be able to guardianship as she is not a blood relative. If the bio father agrees to it, you could win.

If there is no custody/visitation in place then the bio father needs to formalize that, so the stepmom can't hold visitation over him.

I'm sorry you are in this situation and even sorrier that a child is being used as a pawn between feuding adults. You might try getting children's services involved because this is child abuse.

But if you can't settle this amicably, then your only recourse is going to court.

Well you continue to call her the step mom. Like already pointed out if there was a legal adoption then she is not the step mom but the mom. I know it has to be hard with your daughter gone but if she really did adopt because of your daughter releasing her rights before death then you are no longer the grandmother as harsh as that sounds. If the father wants to have his daughter then he has to go to court and try to get custody of her. Unless of course there was no legal adoption and she is just living there. That is the biggest question that you need to find out because absolutely everything depends on that.

I know it was not necessary to sign the rights over but my daughter did not realize the father automatically had rights she was so sick that she just did not want to leave room for error because of the fact they were never married. Unfortunately I do believe the woman legally adopted my grandaughter I found out about it after it happened or I would have tried to stop it because I sort of knew they were not going to stay together. I so appreciate all the feedback, Its bad enough I lost my daughter I do not want to lose the only part of her I have left. Thank you again.

I actually called child services here in NJ and they told me that if there is no physical abuse they can't step in because I have no proof of abuse other than what I have heard and others, They said that it is our word against hers and because the child is afraid of her she will not go against her. I do fear there has been possible physical abuse because of how afraid of her she is but I can never prove it because when I see brusing my grandaughter always says she fell outside or her sisters did it. So sad

Grandparents rights in NJ

The statutes granting grandparents the right to petition for visitation fall into two general categories. Under the first, most typical kind, grandparents may petition for visitation of their grandchildren only where there has been some kind of disruption of the "intact family," i.e. divorce, death of a parent, adoption, or termination of parental rights. This type of statute has been enacted in Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wyoming. Under the second kind of statute, there does not need to be any kind of disruption of the intact family. Rather, a grandparent can petition for visitation so long as such visitation would be in the best interests of the child. This type of statute was enacted in Connecticut, Delaware, Idaho, Kentucky, Montana, New Jersey, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Washington, and Wisconsin.

New Jersey's Grandparents' Visitation Statute, N.J.S.A. 9:2-7.1 allows a grandparent or sibling of a child residing in this State to make an application for visitation. The applicant must prove that the visitation is in the best interest of the child. In making this determination, the court must consider eight factors, including:
The relationship between the child and the applicant;
The relationship between each of the child's parents or the person with whom the child is residing and the applicant;
The time which has elapsed since the child last had contact with the applicant;
The effect that such visitation will have on the relationship between the child and the child's parents or the person with whom the child is residing;
If the parents are divorced or separated, the time sharing arrangement which exists between the parents with regard to the child;
The good faith of the applicant in filing the application
Any history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse or neglect by the applicant; and
Any other factor relevant to the best interests of the child.

You can go here for more info www.library.findlaw.com/2000/Feb/1/129295.html

Sorry, but even if you knew about it you could not have stopped the adoption. Since the bio mother was deceased, as long as the father agreed, the adoption would have been granted.

Have you talked to her teachers? Have they noticed any signs of abuse? If you can get some professional to side with you, you might have a case to wrest custody from her.

If you can't do that, then you may still be able to file for visitation. If you do, I would not bring up the abuse. I would simply state that this is your natural grandaughter, that you have been a part of her life since birth and you want to continue to a part of her life.

The link Liz posted didn't work for me, but I found another:
Grandparent's Visitation Rights : New Jersey Law Blog (http://www.njlawblog.com/2006/10/articles/divorce/grandparents-visitation-rights/)

So NJ has a grandparents rights statute and you can file for visitation under it.

Even though the statute mentions abuse, I would not bring that up unless you have concrete proof.

Oh My! Thank You so so much for this information. I would hug you if I could :)

I actually called child services here in NJ and they told me that if there is no physical abuse they can't step in because I have no proof of abuse other than what I have heard and others, They said that it is our word against hers and because the child is afraid of her she will not go against her. I do fear there has been possible physical abuse because of how afraid of her she is but I can never prove it because when I see brusing my grandaughter always says she fell outside or her sisters did it. So sad


I couldn't get Liz 28's posted link to work - so I don't know what it referenced.

Grandparent rights in NJ: A Court MAY grant visitation rights if such visitation is in the best interest of the child. Adoption automatically cuts off the rights of grandparents UNLESS adoption is granted to a step parent.

In 2001 the NJ Court of Appeals ruled that the NJ statute providing automatic grandparent visitation is unconstitutional. There must be a hearing to determine if such visitation is in the best interest of the child.

Adoption automatically cuts off the rights of grandparents UNLESS adoption is granted to a step parent.

In 2001 the NJ Court of Appeals ruled that the NJ statute providing automatic grandparent visitation is unconstitutional. There must be a hearing to determine if such visitation is in the best interest of the child.

This is from the link I posted:
Until recently, the grandparent had to prove to the Court that they met the above factors and visitation with his/her grandchild was in the best interest of the child.
That burden of proof has been recently changed by case law. In the case of Moriarty v Bradt, 177 N.J. 84 (2003), the Court held that New Jersey’s Grandparent Visitation Statute was constitutional, however, it held that before visitation can be ordered over the objection of the child’s parent, a Court must find that an actual harm will result to the child’s health or welfare without such visitation.

So it would appear that the constituionality was upheld, but it was made harder to get visitation.

I didn't see anything that cut off the rights with adoption, but that's certainly probable. On the flip side, though, it seems that before the divorce but after the adoption the grandparents were allowed to be a part of the child's life. That may negate the loss of grandparent status. It may also help with the burden of proof that harm may occur if grandparent contact is cut off.

Bottomline is you NEED an attorney familiar with NJ Family Law. Without one, you will be swimming upstream.

This is from the link I posted:
Until recently, the grandparent had to prove to the Court that they met the above factors and visitation with his/her grandchild was in the best interest of the child.
That burden of proof has been recently changed by case law. In the case of Moriarty v Bradt, 177 N.J. 84 (2003), the Court held that New Jersey’s Grandparent Visitation Statute was constitutional, however, it held that before visitation can be ordered over the objection of the child’s parent, a Court must find that an actual harm will result to the child’s health or welfare without such visitation.

So it would appear that the constituionality was upheld, but it was made harder to get visitation.

I didn't see anything that cut off the rights with adoption, but that's certainly probable. On the flip side, though, it seems that before the divorce but after the adoption the grandparents were allowed to be a part of the child's life. That may negate the loss of grandparent status. it may also help with the burden of proof that harm may occur if grandparent contact is cut off.

Bottomline is you NEED an attorney familiar with NJ Family Law. Without one, you will be swimming upstream.



From the way I read the decision we're both saying the same thing - it was ruled unconsitutional if automatic. It is not unconsitutional following a hearing.

I should have cited a source for the info, not the wording: Summaries of State Law: Grandparent Visitation and Custody - Divorce & Family Law Center (http://family.findlaw.com/child-custody/custody-more/state-grandparent-custody.html).

Sorry.