This is a long story but I will try and make it short. My Uncle is getting rail roaded by the county domestic relations office and the court systems. I wrote this on his behalf...
I have 2 daughters 13 and 16 who live with their mother and her Husband. I on the other hand, have a steady job of 16 years and a wife that loves my daughters as her own. My daughters are being left in bar parking lots while they(my ex and her boyfriend) go into the bar! I know this because my girls told me and then I have taped it on video. I called the police about it which nothing was done except they (police) were going to arrest me for harassment! My daughters have told me, that their mother and her husband will fight and she with leave with my daughters and ride around all night in the car on a school night and my girls will miss school the next day! They have left their 8 month old baby at home for my oldest daughter to watch while they go away. My oldest girl (13) is being allowed to run around unattended with other boys and girls her age. Her mother says she's a teenager now and she can do what she wants. My ex-wife has numerous times been in contempt of the court order, allowing my children to walk the street to get to our drop off which is HER mothers house, another being that my youngest daughter was supposed to be picked up at our usual time but was told by her mother she was not allowed to come with me, nothing has ever been done, their mother has assaulted me, nothing was done, I tried to file a report and the cops laughed at me saying " I think your safe now." I don't think any of these things are good for my daughters. I and my wife can and do provide my children with stability love and discipline when we are allowed to have them. I love my girls and I don't want them making bad choices because they didn't have good opportunities. I have never been before a judge due to money issues I need help to help my children could you help me to figure out a payment that could suit you and greatly help the lives of me and my girls. This can't be fair I should be raising my girls I have never done wrong by my girls, never been in contempt, never let them run alone, never let them outside in a car while I go into a bar! I have never abused their mother, I have never said mean words around my girls about their mother, all of the things I've said I have proof of, it seems to me it should be an easy case but I don't have the means to fight for them the way it needs to be done I guess. While I pay child support, support me and my wife and my children, my ex-wife lives with her husband that makes as much money as I do and they get welfare because her husband keeps a PO box. They have lived together for 8 years now collecting welfare and lying to the state. They have recently been married about 1 year. Our marriage ended because of infidelity on her part, and I left and I was faulted for that due to ignorance of not being knowledgeable of the law. Please help me! I have tried all I know to do but without a lot of money my kids can't be given a voice to get out of the unhealthy and unstable place they are. My oldest daughter no longer wants to be a part of my life now due to who knows what. I would also like to have custody of my youngest daughter, to try and give her the stable and loving life she deserves. She has recently called me crying scared with all the fighting and things that go on at her mothers house. I will take any advice or opportunity you can offer. I will try anything. Any one with any suggestions Please help a good dad not get screwed.

The mother has just taken him back for more support he pays now 850 per month religiously and now she wants more on top of the welfare she is frauding from the state and numerous other things she has lied about Honestly this woman is the Devil and it is sad when people use their children as leverage.

Thanks these things have all happened a few years ago. So there is nothing to do about it now. Right now where he is at, the oldest daughter doesn't come to visit any more and just today they got a letter from the youngest daughter statin she no longer wants to visit with her father. And they don't know why she would say this? Nor did they know why the oldest daughter up and decide not to visit. And their mother is taking them back to domestic relations after he refused to sign a paper "she" the mother wrote up stating she would take 800 a month but a check anytime the oldest girl needed anything because she was over what welfare would allow with his support. This all seems very strange and their father is devastated by his girls not wanting to see him anymore. Then to be called back for more support which she will get! I just don't understand how things like this happen to good people. They have no lawyer (father) and are in deep almost to lose his home because after the support he is left with hardly anything. While his ex lives well with her new husband.

Does anyone know about mediation and court is one better than the other?

And they live in Johnstown Pa

One idea is to contact a domestic violence center to gather information and possibly support. Check with your daughter's school counselor as the counselor can speak with your daughter and compliants coming from her/him carry more weight than coming from you.
Through the courts you could have your judge order a social study of their home and look into getting custody of the daughter (s). The judge should care about your video tapes - but you never know with judges. The police's reaction to you is creepy.
In our community the cops take domestic violence whether it's man on woman or woman on man very seriously. You could go to the mayor of the town and complain about what happened to you when you tried to report it. Mayors from my experience get more done. Domestic violence is usually a highly charged politcal issue.
How has your court been in the past when you've raised issues regarding these bad situations?
I've never known anyone to have luck when reporting fraud of the wellfare system - but you could try reporting that as well. Reporting it to your state representatives (state senator or house rep) might help - it's weird how they don't care about this kind of fraud and I worked on a section 8 government housing project and we never had luck reporting the fraud. Okay good luck.


I really don't think the Mayor is going to get involved in this. Your advice is familiar to me. Have you posted here before under another name? It's a little psycho, Traceyro and Patti2222, to post in two names and then argue the law... with yourself.

Back to the subject - In order to get support reduced you have to go back to Court and get a new Order, citing changed circumstances. Visitation can be part of the "package."

The father isn't trying to reduce support because he knows that won't happen. He just got a new job and he makes more money he just wants things to be fair and to see his girls and to have documented the things that his ex has done. He wants what every father wants I suspect for his children to be a part of his life and to love them and shield them from having NO morals.

And he would like to try and have custody of the youngest daughter but he is as clueless as they come

What state are you in because that can make a difference. In some states like Cali you can represent yourself in family court so the initial cost is a filing fee. You can request a modification of custody and also ask for a parental evaluation to be done so your evidence can be heard. Both parents and homes will be investigated but it does cost money to do. Another thing is to hire a PI if there is a known pattern of leaving the children in a car parking lot unattended. They will do the documentation for you.

He lives in Johnstown Pennsylvania.

he lives in Johnstown Pennsylvania.


My earlier advice still stands - if support is out of line the only way to get it reduced is to go back to Court. That is also the only way to change visitation, review visitation, get an explanation for visitation (or lack of visitation). The Court will appoint someone to interview the parties and make a determination about exactly what is going on here.

You asked about mediation - I personally don't like mediation. Everybody is a little bit happy, everybody is a little bit unhappy, I don't see the point. That is just a opinion.

Some mediators are better, more knowledgeable, than others.

In your first post you talk about your uncle being railroaded, but you mention little about what he has done to get changes. Has he engaged an attorney? If not, then he needs to. He's obviously having trouble navigating the court system on his own. If he does have an attorney maybe he should change to another if the current counsel isn't doing his job.

But if the situation is, as you say it is. Then he should have filed for a change in custody a long time ago. Now it may be too late, if the mom has brainwashed the girls into not wanting to see him anymore. Of course that could be because they feel he hasn't done enough to get them out of the clutches of the mom.