My kids father left when they were under a year old. We haven't spoken nor has he seen them in over 4 years. He has been paying child support which I rely on but wants nothing to do with us. I would like my kids last name changed legally but still collect child support. My son is in school and are calling him but my ex last name and my children do not know my current husband is not there real father. The school will not do anything until I change it legally please help/

All you can do is ask their father, legal bio father, if he will allow the name change. If he won't then there is nothing you can do. But know that you can call them by what ever name you want as long and for legal purposes their real legal name is used.

All you can do is ask their father, legal bio father, if he will allow the name change. If he won't then there is nothing you can do. But know that you can call them by what ever name you want as long and for legal purposes their real legal name is used.


And a name change won't affect child support.

You have to have the bio father sign to have their name changed. If he wasn't paying child support and had not been around the whole 4 years you could file for abandonment, but that is not the case. So, the only to do it legally is to get his permission. Have you talked to the bio father about it yet?

You have to have the bio father sign to have their name changed. If he wasn't paying child support and had not been around the whole 4 years you could file for abandonment, but that is not the case. So, the only to do it legally is to get his permission. Have you talked to the bio father about it yet?



This is not grounds for abandonment in many if not all States.

I don't know about where OP is -

If the father has been no where to be found for 4 years and has not paid any child support, then that is no grounds to file for abandonment? How long does the father have to be absent for before you can file for abandonment? Four years isn't long enough?

In most states no the parent would have had to leave the child at a bus stop or a wal mart with out anyone to care for them for it to be abandonment. There are very few states that recognize no contact including no support and what not to be considered abandonment to be used for grounds.

Well, I am about to start the process against my daughter's father and I know that it is possible because it happened to his father and his first kid. So, it is possible without having the father drop the child off at the bus stop. Saying they don't want anything to do with the child and that they aren't ever going to pay child support seems like abandonment to me. But, that is not the case in this thread, I was just making a statement and it is possible to file for abandonment.

If you read my post it says "in most states" no where did I say it was a federal law it goes state by state. You are correct that in this case it isn't possible no matter what state but rather than getting defensive just realize that you are in one of the few states that accepts no contact as a form of abandonment.

The issue here is that abondoment may be grounds to file some charges, it may allow you to take away their visitation at least until the father takes them back to court to get them back.

Abandoment is used in custody hearings to get custody, or to use as grounds for divorce

This is a legal board - it contains legal advice. Continuing to slam people who give accurate advice and correct posted inaccurate advice is not helpful to the OP and is actually detrimental to the Board. You yourself have admitted that you have posted sites without reading them AT ALL, yet you accuse other people of not reading things thoroughly?

[QUOTE]I copied and pasted directly from the websites, I didn't read anything. And what if I did? Isn't that the court's purpose?

You would be better suited to a message board where arguing is involved or, has been suggested, a board that is more about opinions and less about facts.

If this continues I am going to ask a Moderator to take a look at all of your posts. You are disruptive.

If the LEGAL ADVICE is incorrect, no problem with your criticism and "reddies." If the LEGAL ADVICE is correct and it's a personal issue, please take it somewhere else.

I have not been able to find the exact statute for this, but everything I have learned or read on this issue says that a person can use any name they want to as long as there is no intent to defraud.

Its possible that some govt agencies will only use a person's legal name, but for the most part you can use any name you want except where the legal name is required. You can request that all the people in the school refer to the child as John Jones except where a legal name is required.

But generally to legally change one's names requires a court order. Or at least the agreement of both parents.


I was just making a statement and it is possible to file for abandonment.

On the issue of abandonment, this is an oft discussed and oft misunderstood issue. The facts are that the only time a person can be charged with abandonment of a child is if the child is left totally unsupervised. Abandonment is a criminal charge. However, abandonment can be used as GROUNDS to get something else. One can apply for a TPR for example and cite abandonment as grounds for it. So, its not possible to "file for abandonment", but it is possible to use abandonment as a grounds for filing for something else. I realize this may seem like nitpicking, but since this is a legal board, nitpicking is necessary.

I was saying that it is possible to file for abandonment. Not in this case, but in general, it is possible. The only way that the OP can get the name changed is to get the bio father to sign approving it.

I was saying that it is possible to file for abandonment. Not in this case, but in general, it is possible.

I'm sorry but that is NOT accurate. There is no such thing as far as I know as filing for abandonment. Please reread what I sad. Filing for abandonment does nothing. There is no criminal charge for a parent moving out and leaving a child with another parent. You can file for a TPR, file for divorce, file for some other action and use abandonment as grounds for those filings, but you can't file for abandonment.

Like I said this is a common misconception and understanding the difference between using something as grounds for an action rather than the action itself is confusing to many.

If you still feel that you can file for abandonment, please cite a law that would allow it.

I do not know the exact law, I just know that my daughter's grandfather told me that I could file for abandonment because that is what happened with his first child. He told me that the mother of the child filed for abandonment and didn't need him to sign over his rights to the man who adopted the child and that I could do that with my daughter and his son. I am not sure what state it was in and it was over 18 years ago, but I have talked to the courts in California before and they told me there was a process that I could go through to do that. I am not sure if it was called abandonment persay, but it was close to that. Plus I am not giving legal advice because abandonment doesn't apply to the OP because the father has been paying child support and leagally he has to sign to change the child's last name.

I do not know the exact law,

The proiblem is this is a legal forum. Our answers here have to confirm to the law. And the facts are as I stated them. Abandonment can be used as GROUNDS to get something else. Apparently in the grandfather's case, they filed for a TPR to get the child adopted and they used abadonment to get around not having the other parent's agreement.

But when answering a question in a legal forum, you have to be careful about citing the letter of the law. What someone told you happened or even your own experience may be different then what the law states.

I can easily see a person not familiar with legal terminology thinking they were "filing for abandonment" and describe it that way. But when filing a petition with a court, it needs to be legally correct.

Unless you are an attorney, offering legal advice is against the law

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
traceyrco : Unless you are an attorney, offering legal advice is against the lawQUOTE]


If you feel you can prove I am giving legal advice on this board without being admitted to the Bar then by all means, report me to whatever authorities you feel are appropriate - but be very, very sure you are correct according to the law.

And in the meantime, I am taking this as a threat and handling it in just that manner. You are not as anonymous as you may think you are.

I have the time, energy, resources and finances to finish what you start - run this past your FBI/Police/Attorney/modeling friends and let me know what you decide to do. You have posted a lot of personal, identifying info - and probably don't even realize it, to say nothing about posting in two different names and then arguing with yourself.

Unless you are an attorney, offering legal advice is against the law.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... let me pick myself up off the floor so I can answer you...

Once again, tracey, you manage to prove to everyone on this board that you have no clue what you are talking about. It is not illegal to give advice. It is illegal to impersonate an attorney, which nobody is doing here. You keep posting answers that are absolutely foolish and then make yourself look even more ridiculous by defending your own foolishness.

Go put up a blog where you can be happy listening to your own thoughts because that's all you're doing here. You're not here to help people; you stir things up because you have nothing better to do with your time. So go ahead, blog about your modeling days or how your parents got ripped off and how it's the same as when you were raped. Quite frankly, I think you're a drama queen who enjoys belittling other people and making things up because it makes your life a hell of a lot more interesting.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...let me pick myself up off of the floor so I can answer you...

Once again, tracey, you manage to prove to everyone on this board that you have no clue what you are talking about. It is not illegal to give advice. It is illegal to impersonate an attorney, which nobody is doing here. You keep posting answers that are absolutely foolish and then make yourself look even more ridiculous by defending your own foolishness.

Go put up a blog where you can be happy listening to your own thoughts because that's all you're doing here. You're not here to help people; you stir things up because you have nothing better to do with your time. So go ahead, blog about your modeling days or how your parents got ripped off and how it's the same as when you were raped. Quite frankly, I think you're a drama queen who enjoys belittling other people and making things up because it makes your life a hell of a lot more interesting.

Apparently I am out of greenies available for This8384 so this is my version of the same thing. Good answer!!

Have you had any luck contacting this man lately? If he doesn't visit then it sounds as though he won't care if you change the last name of the kids. I know our school goes only by the birth certificate for names except nicknames.

Call whatever state agency handles your birth certificates and see what you need to do to amend the birth certificate and see if your ex will sign it. To get him completely removed (which is not an option here since you need his money) from the b. certificate -even if his rights were to be revoked requires a court order - at least in our state.



You know, Patty2222/Traceyro, it's more than a little psycho to post under two different names and then argue the law with yourself -