loove_ex2gsr
Oct 6, 2008, 11:33 AM
I don't know if I'm posting this in the right forum...
Okay so I'm going to try to keep this short and bless all of you who read this whole thing, I know you don't know anything about my life but I'm just wanting to get some different viewpoints on this choice that me and my boyfriend are being faced with.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for four years now, we are both around 20 years old. I'm in college right now for nursing (after I get my 4 year bachelors I'm getting my masters and eventually my NP in pediatrics :)) He is in college for criminal justice. We both have decent paying jobs, he's working as a fingerprint tech for a police office making close to 16 dollars an hour, I'm making 15 dollars an hour at my job.
We both want children, when we first started talking about children we agreed to have children after we graduate. It would be very difficult to both go to school and have children to take care of, I am aware that kids are a huge responsibility. My mom wants us to wait until we graduate as well to have children, she had an aweful first marriage and doesn't want to see her daughter make any of the same mistakes she did. However now that this situation is closing in on us I'm not sure what her viewpoints are anymore.
My boyfriends dad is 64 years old (my boyfriend was an unplanned pregnancy, so both of his parents are older :p). Kyle (my boyfriend)'s father has alzheimers, and its getting pretty bad. He is still physically doing okay (not nearly as good as he was four years ago, but good for his situation), his mind is leaving him, and fast. Its so difficult to see him trying to do the most simple things, and having the hardest time with them. Also, hearing him talk and not being able to say what he wants to because he can't think of the words to use must be so frustrating for him, but he is such a strong person and I respect him more than anything. Kyles worst fear is that his dad won't ever get to see his children, or remember them for that matter. Both kyles brother and sister have had children, and I think that this makes it even harder for him.
On top of that, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. I still have 2 1/2 more years for my bachelors, and I'm afraid to wait that long as well. I want my father to be able to see his grandkids as a part of his life. I'm just so scared. I don't know what to do. I know that I need to think about our lives as well, but I want my children to be a part of my father and my future father-in-laws lives before its too late. Do we re-consider having children until after we graduate? I have been faced with difficult decisions before, but I'm scared of making the wrong one and don't really know where else to turn right now.
Any opinions? Anything would be appreciated.Thank you so much for reading this.
:(
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PS - finnancially we WOULD be able to support children, this has been a thought for me as well, and it would be possible. If we were unable, I would not even consider it. I know that is a big point.
Okay so I'm going to try to keep this short and bless all of you who read this whole thing, I know you don't know anything about my life but I'm just wanting to get some different viewpoints on this choice that me and my boyfriend are being faced with.
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for four years now, we are both around 20 years old. I'm in college right now for nursing (after I get my 4 year bachelors I'm getting my masters and eventually my NP in pediatrics :)) He is in college for criminal justice. We both have decent paying jobs, he's working as a fingerprint tech for a police office making close to 16 dollars an hour, I'm making 15 dollars an hour at my job.
We both want children, when we first started talking about children we agreed to have children after we graduate. It would be very difficult to both go to school and have children to take care of, I am aware that kids are a huge responsibility. My mom wants us to wait until we graduate as well to have children, she had an aweful first marriage and doesn't want to see her daughter make any of the same mistakes she did. However now that this situation is closing in on us I'm not sure what her viewpoints are anymore.
My boyfriends dad is 64 years old (my boyfriend was an unplanned pregnancy, so both of his parents are older :p). Kyle (my boyfriend)'s father has alzheimers, and its getting pretty bad. He is still physically doing okay (not nearly as good as he was four years ago, but good for his situation), his mind is leaving him, and fast. Its so difficult to see him trying to do the most simple things, and having the hardest time with them. Also, hearing him talk and not being able to say what he wants to because he can't think of the words to use must be so frustrating for him, but he is such a strong person and I respect him more than anything. Kyles worst fear is that his dad won't ever get to see his children, or remember them for that matter. Both kyles brother and sister have had children, and I think that this makes it even harder for him.
On top of that, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. I still have 2 1/2 more years for my bachelors, and I'm afraid to wait that long as well. I want my father to be able to see his grandkids as a part of his life. I'm just so scared. I don't know what to do. I know that I need to think about our lives as well, but I want my children to be a part of my father and my future father-in-laws lives before its too late. Do we re-consider having children until after we graduate? I have been faced with difficult decisions before, but I'm scared of making the wrong one and don't really know where else to turn right now.
Any opinions? Anything would be appreciated.Thank you so much for reading this.
:(
-------------
PS - finnancially we WOULD be able to support children, this has been a thought for me as well, and it would be possible. If we were unable, I would not even consider it. I know that is a big point.