Hello all. Ive posted blogs before about my relationship status about me and my ex girlfriend. Well Me and my Ex tried to work things out for the 2nd time. We ran into each other in a local bar and we reconnected like the very first time we meet. Well that night she called me crying with joy telling me how exciting it was to see me and how she got butteflys. She said I'm the perfect man for her and she is happy that I'm all hers. I had my guard up because she told me she wasn't feeling me the first time we tried to work it out. Well the calls and sweet text messages kept pouring in and telling me how exciting it is having me back in her life. We had fun and I finally started to open up and giving this one last try. It all seemed perfect. She even stated that her mom was very happy that we where working things out. On my be day she cooked dinner and she surprised me by bringing her mother along. The following week we went to an invite to her grandparents house. I told her that it wasn't such a good idea due to that we are just working things out. She said that she wouldn't bring me along to see her grandparents if the relationship wasn't going to go no where. I felt that she was finally falling in love again like she said.I believed it. I started to feel more and more conftrable around her and finally loving her again. Well last week I asked her how she felt about us. Surprisingly and unexpected she said she is "confused". I was thinking all along that it was going good. She through me off guard. She said that she loves and cares for me but she seems to not get over our past. Our past consisted of a lot of fighting, due to that I went out a lot with my friends. That night we went to dinner to discuss where the relationship was going. She still told me the same thing. She was confused and that it was hard. I told her that I had to move on and that I've tried my best to make it work and that I was done. She cried and said that its not fair how I want to walk away. Well to make a long story short she has been calling me and texting me to see how I'm doing.She called me last Monday and she ended the conversation by calling me baby. We where suppose to go to a trip together but instead she is going with her sister, bro in law and her best girl friend. Im really hurt right now. Honestly I don't know how someone can go through such extream to lure someone in believing they are all into someone and then flake out. Im not upset because she doesn't want to work it out. Im upset at the fact that she tricked me in believing all this love when in reality is was all BS. Why would someone do this? Please help. I'm starting to be confused now?

Wait, you're saying she was completely lying? Really? That's the only possibility in your world?

How about she meant every word of it? How about she was glad to bump into you, to reacquaint, to reconnect, re-romance, etc. How about all of that was completely honest and true?

And then how about through all the "re-stuff", she also re-backslid... just like the first time? How about that?

This is why feelings have to be taken with a grain of salt. Feelings do what they want. For some people, like her apparently, they come on and go off like landslides.

Also, you were really cautious this time around, right? Why was that? Was it because you knew this was a distinct possibility? Well, good for you on the "instincts" part.

This is why we so consistently counsel against rekindling with exes here on the forum. Statistically, it's a complete waste time. Emotionally, it's a completely avoidable disaster.

There's a reason people become exes. After that, they start "missing" each other forgetting the stuff that led to the breakup. Then they dive right back in and wonder why it fails again.

Just take some deep breaths and stop suspecting her motives. They were most likely sincere... and misguided, same as yours.

Forgive her, forgive yourself, then put it out of your mind. You'll be OK after that.

JB you should seriously just start telling people to look at your other posts lol it's the same spiel every time.

Yeah, but it's a refreshing spring of newness with each newcomer.
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Meanwhile, I have started numbering some of my tirades... don't think it would have the same effect though. I do try to make it a little interesting with each retelling. (pout)

Hahaha fair enough. You should just direct them to the NC posts lol.

I totally agree JB. I shoulve of listen to others before. But we life and we learn. Thanks for your words.