I dated this guys for 8 months and everything was spectacular. I didn't know that he had just gotten out of an 8 year relationship until 2 months into it or so. I am young, 19 to be exact and he 24, but I guess I was naïve into thinking it's no big deal. I mean I wasn't expecting to fall in love with him anyway, but I did for the very first time. Well he never fully committed saying "he wasn't ready" and I was okay with it at first. And then at 6 months he said "he doesn't have time/doesn't want to commit right now bc he wants to get his life together (career, house, etc.) and wants to give 100% when we are together" so it made me feel relieved/happy that he cared that much, but at the same token I felt as if it was an excuse. So we were on different pages; I was ready and he was not. So we decided to be "friends" but that didn't work out too well 2 weeks later (which was hell to go through! ) we got back together. We talked it out, and he said he didn't want to lose me and that he would try to work things out, and no matter what happened we PROMISED to be friends in the end, seriously. I took that to heart because that's the type of person I am. 2 weeks later we fell off. We stopped talking for a week, but I needed to know what was going on like was this just a fight, or the final string. I needed closure, and he wouldn't give it to me until I cried and pathetically begged for it. So he told me he would never call/text me again but the next day he called on a block # I hung up by accident, and then he faked to forward a text message to get my attention or to let me know he didn't delete me out of his contacts. Now we don't talk at all even though we promised each other numerous of times we would be great friends until the end, and I am dying that I could lose this person completely. It's been 3 months and I'm hurt that I was dumped but even more that I have now lost this person I care so much for and love very much. This has never happened to me. And I just want to know should I ever call him because deep down inside I feel that he regrets everything and is just waiting for me to call (to even be friends) but he has too much pride/ego. I'm not wanting to get back together I mean it would be great, but honestly I just want to be apart of each other's life because I love and care for him so much. HELP!

It is very hard to remain friends after breaking up. It's not impossible, in fact, many of my exes are still my friends, but it is hard.

At this point I think it's best to stick with No Contact, leave it be, move on.

Calling now would just confuse him and you. If you are meant to be friends it will happen,but you have to get over being boyfriend and girlfriend first.

Good luck.

It seems like this situation is causing you far too much pain to keep so closely connected to it.

He has things to work out, and is probably still feeling the effects of his first break up. It usually takes a year for a person to get used to the idea that the person they loved, isn't there any more for them. Myself included. People need time to grow, and change, and if we grow with some one then suddenly they leave, it leaves us sad, depressed, even if we choose to hide it.

Let him find himself again, because losing some one also means you loose a big part of yourself, if you truly cared for them. So once you have picked up the pieces and found yourself, you can once again start new relationships, and reconnect old ones.

Good luck.

This has never happened to me.

Now that it has you need to know how to cope with it, and your own feelings.

Give yourself and him, time to heal. Leave him alone until you get through the very painful process of healing.

Read the stickies on this forum, there is a link in my signature, if you can't find them. You will benefit from the insights and knowledge they contain.

Everything you think you know about how he feels or what he wants... ignore those thoughts. You don't know what you think you know. You WANT those things to be true, you WISH they were true, and you appear to be willing to jack your emotions to try and FORCE it to be true.

Don't do that. Seriously. Read your own story back as if you hadn't written it. What would YOU say to a person who told you that story?

You future is ahead, he is behind. Further, any effort you expend trying to keep this friendship will always be clouded by the crap you two put each other through.

Just let him go. You don't need closure, you need a new chapter.