Ok I met this girl we used to work at the same place and people told me not to talk to her because she is crazy, but I wanted to give her a chance and I felt bad for her so I became her friend. She immediately gets attached to me and always calls me asking to hang out with her. I have my own family right now and I am always busy I tell her. I did hang out with her twice outside work. It wasn't a big deal it was boring actually. She calls me at least 10 times everyday, texts me everyday, she changed her phone number 3 times. When she texts me she says she "needs" to talk with me and she misses me and misses hanging out with me. I only hung out with her twice and it was not a big deal, really. I also noticed she was stalking another female as well. Her boyfriend left her and she claims she is now bisexual or whatever. She tells me a lot that I am beautiful and I should model and constantly tells me that I look really good. I just sort of laugh I try to be nice, but it's starting to get annoying. I don't like having a friend like this. Another friend of mine told me to put an order against her because she is crazy and is afraid she will do something really crazy. So, anyway I never answer her calls I haven't talked with her in a long time or texted, yet she still constantly calls and texts everyday. Advice about what to do with someone like this? Thanks

Oh yes, I am not the kind of person who just tells someone to leave them alone I am also afraid if I do that she will react in a crazy way, I am also female by the way. Another thing, one day she calls me and leaves a message saying she really needs to talk with me and says it is serious. So of course I am concerned so I call back and she just tells me her ex-boyfriends new girlfriends mom died and I get really upset and I think she used that against me so I would call her

She seems like she needs to see a counselor or therapist.

Hi, beautifullily!

I can really sympathize with you because I have a gay friend (or, former friend?) who is doing the same sort of things to me. I plan on writing him a letter. You might want to consider doing the same thing concerning the person with whom you are irritated.

I have considered having a restraining order put against him. I have everything that I would need to do that - recordings of voice mail messages as well as copies of emails. A lot of those emails and voice mails would indicate that he really needs to get some professional psychiatric or psychological help.

Anyway, if I were you, I would be documenting and saving everything somehow concerning contact with her in whatever way. A judge would need to have some evidence in order to place a restraining order against anyone. You could also have friends listen and see the communication that she has sent to you. They could then be your witnesses in this matter as to what she has said or written.

I know this sort of situation can be really touchy and tough, but in the end, your safety and peace of mind need to come first.

Is there something that she has done to you that's really bad outside of the things that you've already mentioned, please?

Thanks!

Obviously this girl has some real issues! May I ask how old she is, and the type on work environment you work in?

You need to break ties with this girl, just from the things I've read. I can imagine this might be a touchy thing, but you may have to start with having a talk with someone in authority where you work.

It does sound like she is manipulating you, in order to get you to call her, and it sounds to me like she has a stalker mentality. You don't want that! It might end up where you have to try and get a restraining order, before this goes further. You have a family to protect.

I would not recommend writing a personal letter, without advice of council. This could set her off, and escalate things further. Believe me, I know about restraining/no contact orders, since I have had one in place for 2 yrs now. You don't want to irritate the situation by having anymore contact, and especially in letter form.

I would call your local victims assistance, and ask their advice on how to handle this. This doesn't mean you have to call the police or anything, but you can call them, and they will send you info, and will be there if you need to ask any questions.

Better safe than sorry!

EDIT: (sorry my computer crashed) I also agree with Clough. Document EVERYTHING! Save texts, any messages, anything you can, and write down dates. You NEED to do that.

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starbuck8 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/starbuck8.html) agrees: Sorry that you are going through that Clough!


Thanks for the positive comment, starby!

The reason that I recommended writing a letter was because that's something that I'm going to do concerning the situation that I'm in with this other person. I know that there's no way that he will be vindictive or do something to hurt me. He probably will just be very sad and hopefully, will do some soul-searching of himself and also get the professional help that he needs. I know that for others in similar situations, the case may be different.

So far, the person that beautifullily has described would seem to be someone who is very lonely, clingy and still in the juvenile and immature stage of constantly needing attention - from someone. Those of us who are "enablers" and "rescuers" are the ones those kind of people will tend to seek out for friends.

I am still wondering though if there isn't something that is beyond what beautifullily has told us here that would cause someone to advise having an order of some kind placed on the friend?

Thanks for the advice so far. We worked in a retail environment. I am 20 she is around 23. I have my own life (kid and husband). I am always busy and doing things with them. I don't mind having friends, but not that kind that say strange things and want to hang out all the time. The co workers where we used to work warned me that she is crazy and yes she is lonely. She lives with her parents and has no other friends.

I noticed she was seriously stalking another female when this woman came as a customer at the place of work and my "friend" asked her name and everything. She later looked her up on myspace and kept trying to add her and asking her to be friends. The girl kept ignoring her. So she asked me if I could try to add her using my myspace, so I tried just for the hell of it and it wasn't a big deal to me and the girl she was stalking was asking me why my "friend" kept bothering her. I apologized to her and told her my "friend" has problems.

The other friend of mine is afraid for me because he thinks this girl is really crazy she constantly calls/texts everyday even though I never answer. She says she misses me and I am beautiful way too much than I need to hear it. He thinks she might start trying to come to where I live now because I have been ignoring her so much.

There is a lot more to this as well, she tells me she cuts herself and that there is nothing really for her in life. She says she is lonely, etc. So I was there for her as a friend. But, now, I can't do this anymore, I have my own issues.

If she comes around your house, you might want to have your husband tell her to go away. She sounds like a looney tune! You never know what her motives might be, but whatever they are, it doesn't sound good to me.