Hello again everyone. For those of you who have followed my story, my girlfriend broke up with me July 28th. Finally, about two weeks ago I feel good enough to see other women and open up to people again without feeling guilty about Sophia. This is a major improvement and I was worried that I would always feel this way. However, a new set of problems have arrisen from the aftermath, ones that used to plague me before I was with her.

I am afraid of being lonely again. Most of my dates have been flops. I have done a lot of online dating. Sometimes things move too fast physically and they are ashamed, and have nothing to do with me again afterwards. I have a feeling I may be looking for love in the wrong place. This has been greatly discouraging me. I do not have any friends who can hook me up with a date, so that's out of the question. I really don't want to meet people from bars or clubs, because I couldn't see myself trusting a girl who is frequently at those locations. Same applies to partying with random guys every other weekend.

I feel my only option is to start approaching women at work, or randomly off the street or at stores. My biggest fear in this is rejection. I fear being rejected. I fear all of the problems a relationship can bring, even though I really want to meet someone to be in one with again. I read this board, and seeing how all the girls play games with guys and take them on an emotional rollercoaster SCARES THE HELL out of me, because I do not want to be meeting these kinds of people, but I know that it is inevitable, and that I can't really know for sure if they will behave this way later on in a relationship.

Im also really scared of being rejected initially, not having them like me or want to spend time with me, or date me. I have low self confidence to begin with. Does anyone have any idea how I should proceed? :(

You "fear" a lot. No one can go through life being afraid of everything all the time. You need to learn to manage these fears a little better. Everyone has to do this (managing their fears), it's not easy but you can't keep letting your fears control your life/emotions as much as you have. What you've stated above are not problems, they are descriptions of your state of mind. Everyone faces these kinds of things on a daily basis but the trick is to view them as obstacles that you need to learn to overcome, otherwise every issue you will ever encounter will end up dictating your entire life. Don't try to change the obstacles or eliminate them, it's not possible, try to change the way you look at them instead.

Most of, if not all my life has been dictated by fear. I really wish I could figure out a way to overcome this..

Fear in itself is not a bad thing. We need to feel fear. If it wasn't for fear, we'd all be smoking three packs of cigarettes a day, eating pastries non stop and telling our boss to go f*** himself. Fear is what makes us stop and think about the impact our actions have. So you can't overcome fear nor should you be trying, fear is as important in your life as joy or contentment. But like anything, too much fear can hinder your day to day and so you simply need to manage it better. If therapy is not an option, research some useful books on the subject, you'd be surprised what you can learn from it.

Dragonfly is very correct, and a little education is a good way to learn about yourself, and your feelings.

I think small goals to build your confidence would also help. Like joining group activities that you enjoy, as a way to meet, and interact with people.

Its my experience that familiarity with being around others, and accomplishing things, can make you not only comfortable with them, but with yourself also.