Hello there, well I have been with a girl (first girl friend) this year, it started in April and well we started to go out for a period in June. We broke up once and got back to together and broke up again. We have both lived somewhat of a hard life and we both found out that we had quite a lot in common, disturbingly somewhat common. She is a very kind hearted and assertive girl she's 19 and I'm just a tad younger, 17(im guy just in case you guys are wondering). Anyway one of main goals at the beginning was not to get involved emotionally and to this day in some aspects I have kept that goal. I don't know why we started going out in the beginning it just in a away happened and I'm glad that it did because life seemed have gotten easier because of it. But the second time around was not for the right reasons... and both break ups were because of me. And I feel that I have done something wrong from the beginning knowingly.

Apart from all that she is an amazing person she's kind and very very caring but I can't seem to lend my heart to her or to anyone at this point in time. And I VERY strongly believe that she can clearly do much much better than me.

Anyway we've been broken up for about 2-3months now and we've been close as friends. We agreed to be friends after the break up. Its been great "friend" relationship and we both seem to be there for each other. And I think that this is the reason for us being together in the place, at least in my case (I think :confused:).

Our lives aren't the best nor are they that bad, but we help each other through things.
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Anyway recently Ive been led to believe that she loves me. Don't ask me how I know or how I come to think that but she indirectly hinted this. And well I don't want this to true.:( its such a heavy word and right now I don't like the sound of it. I genuinely from the bottom of my heart think that she deserves much better than me and I just can't explain this to her. I don't think I'm ready and I don't think ill be anytime soon.

I'm sorry if this makes no sense at all.. its all just a jumble in my head and well I'm not really that good at expressing stuff in words.

... anyway, the thing I want is for her to be happy and to be loved by someone, how do I make her realize this. Im not sure if this is actual love or just something that she thinks because of the stuff we've been through in this short time and the things that we have talked about.

Could someone please help... I actually don't even have a friggin question but basically how do I make her realize that she doesn't love me?-or is she really/truely in love with me? and if so, how do I tell her that she deserves better (I genuinely think this) and that I'm not ready for such things.


Im sorry for being so lengthy but I need your opinions.
-thank you.

She does deserve someone with a lot more self esteem, for sure, friend. Unless you're a rotten lowdown dog, you are as worthy as any one, so maybe you should explain yourself better.

If your not ready for what she is, and she wants more than friendship, then you need to tell her, and give her time to process what you have told her. That's not fair.

You either have self esteem problems, or not the same feelings as she does. Which ever it is be straight up and honest about it.

You have self esteem issues, any guy can be with any girl. It's all about attitude, unless you're not into this "relationship" as much as she is. Be honest and upfront about things, communication will sort out any hidden feelings

Yeah I agree with the both of you, but how do I let her know that I don't want to be in this situation at the moment.. without hurting her feelings. And finals are coming up so this is kind of a big thing

Tell her the truth, say that you have a lot going on in your life right now and with your plans the way they are, she does not fit in them. You are going to hurt her, but the truth will be a lot better then telling her a lie