View Full Version : Girl issues. Any opinions?
flyguy23
Sep 27, 2008, 09:10 AM
My girlfriend of 2 years says she loves me and wants to marry me one day but right now she wants to be single and I don't know what to think of it. We got in a huge fight that resulted in a "break" but now she says she wants to be single.
She said that while we were doing this, we could still talk and still visit each other (different colleges). I agreed that being single would be OK but I feel like if she loves me and thinks I'm her soul mate she shouldn't hook up with other people. She feels like hooking up with other people would be OK because we both love each other. But I see a lot of issues arising from each of us hooking up with other people. She says that she doesn't plan on dating or hooking up with guys but she said what if it happened. I told her that if she had sex with someone then I would never talk to her again and she cried saying that she didn't want to lose me.
Should I stop talking to this girl forever or wait till she possibly hooks up with someone else before totally erasing her from my life? She's always been a very good girl and I was her first sexual partner but when she says stuff like this it makes me feel like she's trying to be a slut. And I will not be assiociated with that
h0llister
Sep 27, 2008, 09:31 AM
Maybe she just just needs some time to think. I'm in a long distance relationship because of diifferent colleges and my boyfriend and I went through that as well. Things are changing now, maybe she's really stressed out or something. Try and talk to her to find out excatly why she wants to break up. I know she said she wanted to be single, but why? There are thousands of reasons, maybe if you knew it would also help you. My boyfriend and I broke up for 1 week because he wanted to be single but eventually realized he'd rather just stay with me. But take care and keep us posted
jj890
Sep 27, 2008, 09:38 AM
i told her that if she had sex with someone then i would never talk to her again and she cried saying that she didnt want to lose me.
From when I read that she cried saying she didn't want to lose you, meant something really good, in my opinion I think she meant that, she just needs some time alone right now to think of what she really wants to do. Maybe in a little while she will realize that she really wants to be with you, and you two will get back together in no time. That's just my opinion, hope it helps.
Romefalls19
Sep 27, 2008, 12:48 PM
I think you know the answer to this question. You deserve better than this girl, she has flat out told you she intends to go out and meet other guys! Someone that is supposed to be in love with you should not need for someone else. Personally, this whole situation is a cop out and she wants to end the relationship but doesn't want to hurt you.
My advice, go strict no contact with her! Disappear from her life and start making new friends and meeting new people. If my fiancé asked me to take a break, I wouldn't be sticking around. And if she told me she wants to go hook up with other people, I would be gone from her life without a second guess.
Do you want to be a consolation prize? Her second choice because nothing else was out there?
talaniman
Sep 27, 2008, 04:32 PM
She wants to be single, let her be without you in her life.
She still wants you around to keep from being lonely and having your friendship and company, but as you said issues will arise from that situation, as you are wanting your relationship back.
You can't change her mind, but you can let her have what she wants.
That doesn't mean put your life on hold, that's not fair, but you can go back to doing what you did before she came along or find new and different things to enjoy.
The last thing you want is for her to be single, and you still there for her, at this time.
She gave up that right, with this break up!
bigbird213
Sep 27, 2008, 05:20 PM
Stop talking to this girl? I say yes... by waiting around, you are only alleviating her guilt while she is able to go out and do what she wishes (after all, she told you she was going to)...
Don't be her doormat...
flyguy23
Sep 28, 2008, 07:15 PM
Thanks for the advice.
Its just so annoying because we have all the same friends and I am constantly reminded of her and she still texts me and calls me all the time. But I'm going to take your advice and not talk to her anymore
wikedjuggalo
Sep 28, 2008, 07:39 PM
thanks for the advice.
its just so annoying because we have all the same friends and i am constantly reminded of her and she still texts me and calls me all the time. but im goign to take your advice and not talk to her anymore
Delete the message and ignore the calls. Its best for you. Trust the people on this board.
TrueFaith
Sep 29, 2008, 10:47 AM
How dare she!
And you mr
Don't be a dog and waiting around for scraps of meat at a dinner table.
Because that is how she is treating you, if she did love you and want to be with you. Do you really really think she will says Yeah I'm going to take a brake and see what else is out there, meaning guys. Then if nothing good comes along I might come back.
Sounds like she is to scared to brake up with you. Go no contact and find someone that really wants to be with you
I know 2 years is a long time but if that's how she wants to end the rleationship all the best. There is no silver liner in this story its just dark.
Get rid of her and don't be Anyone's 2nd best, there is no one else like you and you should be NUMBER 1 in your life
flyguy23
Sep 29, 2008, 01:19 PM
Thank you
I have started nc and she is blowing up my phone like crazy. Today she has called like 15 times and sent like 10 text messages
Is this normal?
wikedjuggalo
Sep 29, 2008, 01:21 PM
thank you
i have started nc and she is blowing up my phone liek crazy. today she has called like 15 times and sent like 10 text messages
is this normal??
Yup... Now you arnt answering she comes a stirring. Keep strong don't read them just delete them and keep your head high.
Dragonfly1234
Sep 29, 2008, 01:33 PM
my girlfriend of 2 years says she loves me and wants to marry me one day but right now she wants to be single and i dont know what to think of it. we got in a huge fight that resulted in a "break" but now she says she wants to be single.
she said that while we were doing this, we could still talk and still visit each other (different colleges). i agreed that being single would be ok but i feel liek if she loves me and thinks im her soul mate she shouldnt hook up with other ppl. she feels liek hooking up with other ppl would be ok because we both love each other. but i see alot of issues arising from each of us hooking up with other ppl. she says that she doesnt plan on dating or hooking up with guys but she said what if it happened. i told her that if she had sex with someone then i would never talk to her again and she cried saying that she didnt want to lose me.
should i stop talkign to this girl forever or wait till she possibly hooks up with someone else before totally erasing her from my life?? shes always been a very good girl and i was her first sexual partner but when she says stuff liek this it makes me feel liek shes trying to be a slut. and i will not be assiociated with that
Wow I would love to have the luxury of having my cake and eating it too! I'd love to be able to say to my husband "um honey, I really love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you but do you mind if I'm just single for just a year or two? After that I promise to stop sleeping with other people..." Yeah, it doesn't work that way for a reason. And scratch that, I wouldn't want that luxury because I truly love my husband and truly want to spend the rest of my life with him and for that reason, I wouldn't want to be single, without him and/or hurt him.