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Chery
May 21, 2006, 11:49 AM
=: Because I'm a Man :=
(a public service message)

* Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will
fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

* Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I
will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to
the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now
with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where
to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break
wind, as a form of holy communion.

* Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to
bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you,
this is no problem.

* Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like milk, meat or bread. I cannot be
expected to find exotic items like cumin or tofu. For all I
know, these are the same thing.

* Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets
here and has to put it back together.

* Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it. Though one time I
was able to survive by holding a calculator. (Applies to
engineers mainly.)

* Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm
thinking about. The true answer is always always sex, cars, sex,
sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask,
so don't ask.

* Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the
movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I
didn't and if you are feeling amorous afterwards, then I will
certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

* Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.
Either pair of shoes is fine.With the belt or without it,
looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go
now?

* Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and
I'll do the rest, like wandering around in the garden with a
beer wondering what to do.

[author unknown]


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/7/7_6_2.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN) Caught this on from Completely Free Software. Hope you enjoy it too.

Nez
May 22, 2006, 02:19 AM
Hmnn.Now lets see.Only locked my keys in the car once.Sally drove 20 miles with the spare set. :D
When another man did stop to see if I was OK (him,his wife,and kids),then I said I was resting,and taking a look at the scenery,even if it was late at night.No beers though.
When I have a cold,Sally brings me hot food all day,and wipes my brow.Aghhh :cool:
Yes I'm good at shopping.Honest.
Taken apart the video.Had to bin it after ten goes to place the video heads correctly.I'm a genius.
Don't be silly,I never see the remote.
Never have time for sex.Always too tired.:p
If I hate a movie,I moan for days. :mad:
Ten changes later,and still we disagree.Yawn yawn.
We share all the chores.Now pass the beer...

fredg
May 22, 2006, 04:33 AM
Right on!!
Some of it sounds familiar.

RickJ
May 22, 2006, 05:00 AM
Lol, very funny!

Forgot one, though:

I will NOT ask for directions if lost. I WILL find it myself!

Chery
May 22, 2006, 12:28 PM
Thanks guys, glad you joined in.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_1_55.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)

rd68
Jun 19, 2006, 06:00 AM
I think I have done just about all those things.And I really thought that was the truth and very funny I enjoyed that.

snowalps
Jul 30, 2008, 12:30 PM
Very nice one! :-)