I don't understand I used to have orgasms all the time, I started to have problems after my first child. Not all the time. Then I had my twins and it seems as though I almost never have one, and when Ido it takes forever to have. I am 33yrs old. Have I just hit a flat spot in my life and have to wait it out? Or is there something that has happened to change things with having my baby's that needs to be fixed? Please help me to understand.

I was reading an article last week about lack of sexual drive as a woman grows older.

This is the number one sexual problem that women report. Lack of desire, lack or orgasms.

One explanation given for loss of sexual drive was an evolutionary reason. It is not necessarily true, just a supposition: a woman would be very unhappy if she had 12-15 children, it would be too difficult to manage and hard on her body. So, women may have a drop in libido to protect them from being beaten down by life. Less libido, less sex.

I thought it was an interesting theory... it certainly explains why so many women lose interest after having children.

Anyway, go to an endocrinologist and see if your hormones are OK. That would be the first step in getting help.

Best wishes, :)

It's not the lack of my sex drive at all. Its always been high and still is, but for some reason I can't have an orgasm or find it very very difficult to have on.

It's probably cause of a hormonal imbalance. Talk to your doctor... I've heard this is a common thing after child birth.

I see.

There are several things you can do to try to restore your orgasmic response.

Make your bedroom into a boudoir with a lock on the inside. Mellow lighting, no mess, mirrors strategically located, art on the walls, erotica on the bedstand... AND hire a high school girl to be a mother's helper in the afternoon; she can take the kids out to a park and run them ragged so they are tired at bedtime.

Practice having orgasms every afternoon in your sexy room. :) You have to bring yourself back up to speed.

Wear sexy underwear all day, a bra with the nipples cut out... just to remind you that you are FIRST a sexual creature. You're a woman waiting for you man to come home so you can eff him. Attitude.

Sexual pleasure is a use it or lose it proposition... every physician will tell you that.

Still have an endocrinologist check your hormones and give you some advice.

Best wishes,

I bet you any money that your mind is half on your kids, even when you're having sex.

If you're not focused on sex, completely, of COURSE you're not going to have an orgasm.

Have you tried get-aways WITHOUT the kids? Or getting a sitter (like gramma) where the kids can leave the house and you can stay home and be naughty together?