I am 35 and I just need a friend. I need someone I can talk to about what is going on in my life, ask advice, chat with, and return the favor. I work a lot and have No friends. I am lonely and just need some advice on where I could find someone who will chat with me on a serious level.
Any suggestions?

What kind of advice are you needing? You can post in specific areas to ask advice on this site. Have you seen how many categories they have on here?;) Make time for yourself! That is what my number one piece of advice would be to start! Good luck

Well you found the right place
We all try are best to be serious about any questions that are posted on here
We are all here to help each other and here to help you

There is private messaging on this site for one to one

I'm always here if you need a chat : ]

This is a great place to get unbiased advice. You will get thoughtful answers and all points of view.

If you are spending most of your time at work, then is there someone at work you can reach out to? Maybe start by asking them to join you for lunch and see if a friendship can grow from there. You might be surprised by what you find.

Thanks to all who replied. I will do my best to try your advice. To startover 22: my question was do you know a chat room w/ live chat or IM to find someone I can talk to onm a regular basis. Cookie monsters answer said there was one on one here... THX cm! To jjwoodhull: I appreciate the advice... but I work w/ 3 people and rarely get a lunch. The people that work there are teenagers and my boss. So as far as work... not a whole lot there as far as friends. Boss is too close and kids... well wouldn't get it... They need to be kids.
Thanks again!

Need a friend, what I was wanting to know are more of what are your concerns more specifically, and we could talk about them here.;) This place is the best place I have found to talk about issues and get great responses, some a little tough and some a little soft...
So if you have something in specific you want to talk about, lets do it.
What type of work are you doing? What are your hours? What do you like to do on your off time... we should start there.

Yeah. This is the best place for advice. I found out this site accidentally on a search from Google I guess, but since then I have nothing but to thank myself for getting to know about it. It's the best place for serious and unbiased advice. Make the most of it. We are all here to discuss and share things we normally can't with people we know. So go on and tell us about u!
Good luck and take care!

OK, well, I am 35 w/ 4 teenagers. 2 at home (step) 2 w/ their father. I am in sales I work from 8 to 6,7,8 when I am done 6 dys a week. In the am before work I do the paperwork for my sign. Others business. After work I cook... sometimes and go to bed. I have been sick lately I am going to the DR. for a colonoscopy... and I am terrified. I am stressed about my finances, and my health. I am fighting my son about his grades and trying to help but he won't help himself. My other 2 boys are to busy to see me and my 18 year old daughter( lives w/ us) is going against ao much of what we taught here tatoos # 3!
I just need someone to say you will make it. I know a lot of this is normal... but sometimes it is too much. My sign, other That's a mess in itself... will leave that for another time except to say I have no support system and should something be wrong I will have no one to talk to about it. Fears concerns bills ideas... Does that make sense. I am just lonely and scared. I am sure I am making more drama about it than is necessary... I just feel so alone.
This dr. gave me a list of possibilities and none of them are fun. No matter what I will need to change the way I do things, which on top of all I have going seems impossible. Something will have to give and I don't know where I can take from. I feel like our survival depends on me alone and no matter what I do it is not enough... they always want more. I am just so tapped out right now. As far as after work in my spare time I don't have much. I don't have interests... or I don't know what they are. My boss is needing more from me .I love my job but there again I need a way to get to where I can do more... Ok HELP;)

Sorry... a bit pessimistic today... lol :eek:

Need a friend, this is all totally normal. You sound as if you have too much on your plate. If I were you... (before you go under) I would be trying to make some major lifestyle changes. Working that much can't be good for you and not having one ioda of time for yourself is just not good. If you had more time, all of these other things may come a little easier. Do you think this is an option?

I wish it was but we are barely skimping buy as it is... I considered a 2nd job until the dr. came about

What kind of work is it? Can you bring it home to finish?

I wish I could sales... so I have to be there to visit w/ customer, do financing, and for when a customer comes in.
My boss is very good about me taking off work when needed, but I can't Afford to take time off. I also want to keep it for if I need it. In case of an emergency.

What about your husband? Does he understand the pressure that you are feeling? Maybe he could ask for extra hours at work or find some kind of part time job so that you can scale back until you feel better.

And you said there is an 18 year old daughter in the house? I know teenagers can be difficult, but you should ask for her help. Sit her down and talk to her as an adult. Explain to her that you are at the end of your rope and you need help. Don't ask for too much. Maybe she could be responsible for dinner 2 nights a week. Or maybe she could get a part time job so that she can make a contribution to the household - Maybe 1/2 of what she makes.

Although things might be strained between the two of you at the moment, I'm sure she is still concerned for you health.

What you give, comes back to you... so you need to open up, take some time away from work, and start lending a ear to others... offer your friendship first, and don't expect them to treat you as their best buddy from day 1... it builds up gradually!!

Keep doing this,, Smile... work on your sense of humor... make an effort... go out... and in no time, u'll see that you have more friends than you actually wanted...

I was like you when I moved new into my current place - friendless and lonely... I worked on my rapport.. and now I have a huge gang (all of them good friends)

The world is full of good people... friends are everywhere.. all you need to do is, break the ice, and build on it... OPEN UP :)

I have asked for the help... no one wants to do extra. I am not trying to be pessimistic... it is just fact.
Will work on the going out to find friends... when I have time

Oh the husband... returns what I say with he has too much on his mind and needs to go out. The conversation always turns back to how he has too much going on and way too much to help. I have been asking for years

It is time to go on strike... tell everyone, the cable, the internet, the cell phones, everything is gone till someone helps me deal with all of this!! Sheesh, you can't do everything, poor lady, gosh;)

LOL! Thanks! That is similar to what I have done. I no longer cook except once in a while. Maybe 1 to 2 times a week... better than 2x a day. I also quit washing the dishes. I wash mine and any I cook with. My dishwasher is broken and I have not been able to purchase a new one... so I have been washing by hand... which is fine when you aren't the only one. It did startle them a bit and he started asking what was wrong I kept telling begging for help... now in that department they help themsevles. I do get stressed about the house being a mess, but it seems better this way... so I do what I can . I also gave away the puppy we just had to have... I was the only one taking care of her and she is happy now out on a farm with relatives.
The daughter said I should help her more. I asked her if she got it done. She said yes and I said now see, you didn't need my help you did it independently, which is what you have been telling me you want. She wanted me to do it FOR her.
I am trying to simplify... but sometimes it is just too much! Even now.

Understandably, you are under pressure. How are you and your husband? Do you have a life together or is it just "lets get through this day" all the time? Can you tell everyone to just take care of themselves, and you start working on ONLY you? How long has it been since you have enjoyed doing anything for yourself, getting a nice new outfit, a walk, anything... how long has it been where you didn't have to worry about others in your life and if they are all right?

We are not meant to work allover the place for others, we are meant to do what we need to. We are made to smile for a reason, and if you aren't doing enough... there is something wrong. I don't know if it would help or not but have you considered going to talk to someone about some of these pressures? Have you thought of telling your husband that it has come down to you asking strangers for support and not him because he isn't helping one bit? I am probably going on and on, but I do know what you are going through, I can see myself right where you are in a few years;)

I did tell him I needed someone to talk to and he said he didn't know anyone. That's it. I haven't done anything for myself... I don't even know what I like to do. I have spent so much time on what everyone else wants to do I have never really thought or had a chance to find out what I like. Does that sound off?
I have battled a bit of depression and to be honest right now I don't want to do anything... which is probably a good thing since I am broke

Can you speak to a pastor or priest in your town? Maybe they could counsel you. Or connect you with someone who is having similar problems. Or perhaps your doctor can indroduce you to a patient support group. There are lots of great, loving, caring people in the world. You have somehow become isolated over time - you need to break out of this.

You don't sound "off" tome. You sound like someone reaching out for ideas other than the ones you have already tried. Sounds as if you need a direction in making these changes that you are thinking about... and that is the hardest part, actually doing them. We can tell you over and over that you are over loaded but unless you are to the point and willing to make some changes... it won't work. JJ is right, you need to break out of this. How, well that may take a few more conversations, but starting to talk about it with people who will listen are a few great starts;)

Hmmm, I may even use some suggestions you get from here to help me in my own situation. I am so very very glad we are all able to meet and help one another.

I hope to see you soon.

Thank you for all of your ideas! Sometimes I just need to talk. I do feel better now, and have been slowly changing things. I know it takes time.
Startover 22 what is going on w/u. Everything OK?

Ya, everything is fine... but if I don't make some major changes, I know I will be stuck in a "do everything for everyone" rut. So, for that I want to maybe start up my yoga again... or just go to a coffee shop the one day I go to work at 10 instead of 8 am... you see just adding things I came to find out helped me feel as if I was doing it ONLY for me. IT MATTERS!! And I don't know why I quit doing it... a sequence of events I suppose... doesn't mean as soon as I feel better I am not going to get on board with MYSELF!!

Need, we all need is a place to go to say things we don't normally in our every day lives, things that may sound selfish out loud, or a little odd... or just plain normal. But still we feel these feelings and thoughts, we need to at least talk about them. So if you are interested, I can try and find a link to my yoga thingy.. lol and give you some good titles to some books I have read... starting with Scarlet Women, or even the Home for the Soul book I am into right now... good coffee shop reading, and good "few minutes of me time"!

I will make a list... starting with a chore list... who does what and when. I will draw out a budget and see where things are wrong... then I will get rid of some of those things... (dont ask me to get rid of my internet.. LOL) Then I will make a list of things I might just enjoy doing... reading, walking, playing cards, yoga, anything you like sweet Need, you get to make a list too;)


I am going to start my list today... I hope you start yours too, you don't have to go into great detail, just small steps you can take to make things easier and better and healthier for you.:):) Hugs

Thanks start. I would like the link. Always wanted to try yoga.
I have already made the list in my head it is just getting it inforced in my house.
I have strarted in a few small ways. Like telling the sign. Other that if he wants to drink he is a big boy but the household money won't go for it. His bill is over 300 and he is complaining but I tell him it is one of HIS bills that won't be paid if he uses it for alcohol. So It is a struggle but I am not as angry. As far as other thingsI would like to try something but to be honest everything is expensive.
I enjoyed the coffee shop but it closed down. The nearest one is 25 miles away.
My finances are awful I am living beond paycheck to paycheck. I have cut way back but w/ gas prices and everything going up... well. That is why I work so much
I think it is great that you have alreaady done what you have. Getting back to it hopefully won't be so difficult. Sounds like you have a plan. Do I get to see your list? Lol
I get my colonoscopy in a couple days. I am freaked! But I know I shouldn't worry. Easier said than done.
I think this is my place to say what I wouldn't in public. This is my coffeehouse.
Thank you for listening. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and say it will be OK.
I wish you wel on your changes and will keep my fingers crossed for you... that the transition back will be smooth!
I hope to visit again before I go In. TTYL

I made a list and it starts with my YOGA.
Then the simple things like asking the kids to do the little things I notice while walking by...
Shaving my legs seems to be the hardest ever, I love soft legs, but I get so lazy in the morning.. (I know weird to have on the list)
I am starting a drwer piggy bank, my change goes in there and hope I will be surprised every once in a while to buy something pretty, or whatever I want;)
I know these sound so simple, but it all works, I did this last year and started to feel really great about things... I am starting it again, thanks to you for opening my eyes, a real special coffee house thanks.
Yoga, wow, holy cow, never knew a few simple steps could make you feel so great! My arms, tummy, legs, and buns started getting stronger after about a month I noticed, so give it some time. Do the steps in 2 or 3 sets everyday till you can do them with ease, then work your way up to doing ten sets... DO NOT DO TEN SETS AT FIRST, I promise you will feel as if you got run over my a Mad Trucker;)

Sun Salutation - Surya Namaskara - Step by Step (http://yoga.about.com/od/yogasequences/ss/sunsalutesteps.htm)
I do these in the morning... and I love doing them at night. Just try it, but make that 15 or 20 minutes for yourself, it is great!
Do me a favopr and get that list on paper... seems as if you check things off (little or big) it gives a sense of being finished;)

:) I hear the colonoscopy isn't as bad as it sounds. Relax, and just remember it is all for your own good.

Have a great day Need... and keep your head up!

As a matter of fact, even though I am not at 100% with my ear thing going on, I am going to go do my Yoga right this minute, sounds great!

I am so glad! Thanks for the encouragement! Let me know how things go!

Felt good, just did two sets a bit ago. And hey, you know what, we are all in this together, so share what you would like.;) Got to go get ready for work... have a good day today and remember the list.

God or evolution or whoever it is that created this maze called life gave us eyes in front.
It seems logical that they were put there so that you look ahead... and not behind you ;)

Imagine yourself as a third party and look at the issues you have set out so far.
Taken together, do they look like a one-of-a-kind story?
It's only inevitable that a great many people face the same set of issues.
I'm not trying to run down your problems as ordinary.
All I'm saying is that they are hardly unique.
And the irony in it all is that your problems exist because you are willing to own them.

To me, it appears that you are willingly bogged down by routines.
You need to get out of that... like NOW :)

This shouldn't sound philosophical :o... but, indeed, routine = life's misery trap.
Our routines are what force us to reflect on and be miserable about the sameness of it all.
And sameness = the problems that simply don't go away.

You need to treat every day and moment as a new one.
Ask yourself after you wake up and before you get up: "What will I do today?"
Mentally chalk out your own to-do list for the day... and do only that.
Of course, it will include work, lunch, email, the works.
But make sure it's YOUR work, YOUR lunch and YOUR whatever ;)

Does this sound selfish?
Well, it should not.

After all, there's no reason why you should be doing something for someone when they can jolly well do it by themselves and also should be doing it by themselves ;)

You need to free your shoulders from carrying others' luggage.
You need to practise answering: "You'll have to do that yourself".
Just remember to say that with a wry smile.
It works.
Always.

Suddenly, you will see a large number of your problems dissipate.
Suddenly, you will see the people you know accept DIY as a gospel.
... because they simply need to get it done... after all, it's their own need.

So, give it a try.
Don't look back.
Look ahead.
And remember to use that wry smile ;)

StraightTalk, all I can say is WOW. You hit it all on the nail with a hammer, and a very big hammer at that. Thanks you just made my day.;)

I have to agree! Thanks and slowly it is what I am doing!

Soooo, I shaved, lol and I did my yoga... and did not touch the dishes right when I got home, I waited for the kids to get here and made them do them:) Whooo that was all very hard... whats next? :):)

Whoo hoo! You are on a roll!! I came home didn't cook and am now here visiting with you. Had a blow out in my car this am feel much better!
Never say yes when you really mean no... yep hey can I use that lol!

You can use it... and I love saying out loud! Go Need GO!

Lol... u crack me up! THANKS! It is great to have someone rooting for me.
Go start Go! Never thought I would make the cheerleading squad, Better late than never!
Whoo hoo!!

That's for sure... I love cheering people on! I need to make some dinner for the little Football guy on his way home from practice... that is one guy I don't mind feeding! LOL
I will be off and on silly Cheer leader, see you soon!

Okie dokie smokie, rah rah shishk boom bah!! Thanks again! Ttyl

Ohhh what? We have chicken nuggets and canned corn... oh why didn't you say so! LOL

I'm just popping in here, but just wanted to say that I'm glad that you are enjoying your time on this site and have made some friends here with whom you can just kind of "let things fly", so to speak, Need a friend!

Are you into anything in the Visual or Performing arts?

Thanks!

Such as... forgive me I do not have much culture here.. lol Thanks Clough

He is wondering if you do anything for a hobby, like art?.
He and a few other members are artists and they have all sorts of trades... THEY ARE GOOD!! :)
How did your day go today? Mine was busy and I need to squeeze in my yoga;)... I keep giving orders and I shaved my legs... YUP, still trying not to be lazy about it;)
I hope you are great Need... and all you others around here;)

Yup, thanks Start!

Could be anything in the arts. Most people do have some kind of hobbies that they like to do. It would be good to know what yours are. Depending on what yours are, it's possible that we might have quite a bit in common!

Legs: Check
Yoga: Check
Telling people to do their own crap: Check;)
Wow, Need, this feels good;)
Clough... that just may be true, maybe we can do some digging to see if she does anything other than work work work?:):)

Ah Thanks ! I just got my colonoscopy so I am a bit less stressed.
As far as what I do for hobbies... I don't and haven't for awhile. I use to do some chalk work , but definitely not an artisit. Lol
I also use to make masks, tried my hand at wood carving, penpaling, reading, gardening (flowers)
I wanted to try photography, but I keep running into the money issue. There is absolutely none left after bills. So I did start writing to my penpal again. I had 25 at one time but do not have the time for that many now>>>lolI would love to have a green house, but it will have to wait.. for now.
I like when the art festival comes to town, I think I would like going to art museums. I guess I haven't because of the drive and going alone.
Oh by the way... I wrote my guy a letter basically telling him I have to concentrate on me now (he was complaining about the house, my mood, what's wrong with you- I would tell him and he would go on and expect me to change back to miss dutiful)
I also told him if he didn't like dirty dishes... he could quit using them, or make sure everyone washes their own. I told him I would help clean the house, but only if everyone strted cleaning.
He was mad, but when I got home the house was cleaner and dishes done!!
Whoo Hoo... gotta go for now,

Holy Cow, Need, you are a woman of many desires;) I like that you have tried many things, maybe adding ONE to your "list" would be good, even if it is a free one, still better than none. If you have any pics of what you have done, let me know, I will walk you through the steps to show it off;)
AS for the letter to your guy... I just want to say that I am proud of you and that is a wonderful step to take... expressing whatever you are feeling can really become a big part of this process. He got the picture, you didn't have to do his dishes, or cater to him... and you told him that there was room for compromise, as long as EVERYONE compromised and not only you!! Good for you! Woo Hoo is right on!

Thanks start I use to do those things... one at a time throughout my life... lol
As far as my guy, well I was surprised he did what he did. He is now complaining about the kid not helping... lol That use to be me. I had to just let him take over. After alll they are HIS kids. I have had the responsibility of raising them while his x drank herself into oblivion and upset them on a regular basis. He didn't help much as far as raising them went.
I was told early on that they were his and his x's kids... I wasn't allowed to do MOMMY things with them the first 3 years. Unfortunately no one else did either. Now... it is almost too late, but I am trying to make p for some of that time.
I am done w/ the colostomy... whew... made it... now back to work I go. I am going to start taking time for myself and try to figure out ways to keep the stress level to a minimum.
Thanks start for all your support! Ttys

And, thank you Need;)

Need, what's happening?
I have decided to on Sunday, clean the whole house and go on a small strike... (if I can handle it)
I have been a stay at home mother for 14 years, all the kids are in school this year so I have been back to work for about 3 months full time now. I am still doing everything I used to... cleaning, shuffling kids, I don't have to cook every night which is nice, but I do make sure things are taken care of, house hold things and I even had to buy oil for my car... so, LOL, I am going on strike, I will let them start with a fresh new clean house, from corner to corner and wall to wall, including windows and all... then it will be up to them to feel as proud as I have to have company come over, have a clean toilet to sit on, an empty kitchen sink,clean clothes and bedding and maybe even a clean floor. I hope they can manage cause my buns will be watching movies, going bowling, finishing some great books I have already started and so on. Maybe pick a TV show that I will watch on a weekly basis, I don't know... ;)
I hope you are great, and sticking to your stuff little lady:):)

Yep That is what I did! Be prepared for the change! They didn't take it too well! Also I find it is hard for ME to deal with because we have one bathroom. It is completely disgusting!! But I find I am not resentful and it seems to be Less stressful. I told them I would HELP if they started helping... so Be ready... and I am here for you if you need me!
I am OK. I go for results a week from tomorrow. I am feeling better. I think the antibiotics have helped some... so that is good. I even went to a social event in town... so my next thing... exercise... YIKES just trying to get motivated. I still have the yoga link so I may try that first... or see if there are any others needing a motivation partner... lol
So... I am tired but I am de stressing and hoping for the best on the results. I am also cheering you on!! RAH RAH! You go girl!!
Ps my favs as far as TV shows... boston legal, grays anatomy, ugly betty, private practice, sarah connor chronicles. I record them and watch when I get a min. or can't sleep... new season... hope it helps!

Thanks Friend!
I am hoping just to make an impact, not a life altering miracle... lol
I love the yoga because it helps me relax but it makes me strong at the same time! I found I felt really silly doing it at first, but once I got it down, I critiqued myself on whether I had the right position or not;) I love it. I need to do it tonight too.
Glad you are destressing, I just talked to one of my newest friends. We have decided to do something together every two weeks, probably bowling or something to make us move and laugh... heehee
I can't wait;)

Wow that's great! I am doing the "social" thing... I didn't realize how far I had withdrawn. So lots of activities going on, but fun ones... lol. Anyway, Have fun bowling!!
Knock them down, knock them down, wwwaaayyy down!! (cheering for you on your bowling night) LOL

Thanks Need... good for you running with the crowd;)

I can chat with you on I'm if you would like it sounds as if we have a lot in common

Start got your message. Thx. Hope your having a great one!
LIL2000 thanks for the invite. Hope you visit us while here!

I know you feel.I get lonely all the time.I moved away from all my family and my partner works all the time and when he is home he just sleeps I don't think he loves me anymore but don't worry you will be OK I'm sure

Teenagers... ah I remember those days; and some of them aren't easy days to get through. Are your teens truants? Or just the basic run of the mill smart mouth know it alls?
You feel you work, eat, sleep and no play right? Reorganize and make that free time for you... Your kids will understand and you'll feel much better for taking time; go exercise, read a book, watch that fav show... whatever it is you like to do. We're here to talk if you want to tell us issues going on in your life? If you're overworked; change that... free yourself up. Life's way to short to be stressed out. This too shall pass... Take a breath and talk to your kids... if they have any heart at all they will understand you're stress and help you out. What did you mean by you do paperwork for your sign?

Hi you Need, how are things going right now?
Do I need to get my cheer leader outfit out? (please say no) LOL

I would like to be your friend^^

Thanks to all who have replied . Brelee: I Would love a new friend! How are you?
Startover22: I always need a cheerleader lets get on those outfits!! Test came back They found some things... but NO cancer!. yeah! Have an infection. First round of antibiotics didn't do it so on another round. Also something about ovarian cysts... I will find out more Friday... something to do with good cholesterol is too low... making too much testosterone. Will hopefully find out more Friday. Thank you for the support!! Rah Rah! How was bowling? Yoga?
AskJenny: I do paperwork for my significant other. He started his own business and I do the paperwork for it. Basic stuff... Invoices, bills, payments, banking, reciepts, state papers for the trucks . Fortunately, we have an accountant for taxes! I just get frustrated sometimes... I don't mind doing it I just don't have all the info I need at times and half the time I have no clue what I am doing.
To all: Thanks you for your advice and comments. I really appreciate them all. I think I need to get my "upstairs" fixed so that I can move forward. I walk around confused amd trying to understand what the point is most of the time. I need a focus, a purpose... something. I am tired not only because I have had too much going, but not much of a reason... It is hard to get up and work work work when you aren't seeing any results. I still live in a dump, my car is falling apart and my daughter turned 18 and lost her mind. I know I need to look at the brighter side of things, and mostly I try... but today I am feeling... apathetic and purposeless. I don't have cancer right that is a good thing. I should be walking on clouds. Instead I am feeling sorry for myself because I am tired. That is why I say I need to fix the upstairs. You can handle anything with the right attitude... mine stinks. So that is my goal. Startover... you got any wrenches... lol!!
I better go and get to fixing... THX!!

Thank God it's not cancer! But obviously you still have health problems that need to be addressed. I'm sure that is a big factor in you being tired all the time.

Hang in there. Of course there are going to be good days and bad ones. Keep your head up. You deserve to be happy and you have already taken steps toward making your life better. Keep up the good work.

Just be thankful it is not cancer, and move forward with any other treatments for the cysts;)
While I get my outfit stretched... LOL

Oh Need, it is funny, for the last 15 years, I have been going around with my head in a cloud... so I wouldn't have to deal or face the "storm" in my life. I never wanted to argue or fight, or even worry about feeling selfish.

I know what it is to be wandering, I am hoping you will feel as if there is a purpose, to me, you are important part of this world. You have already touched me, and you are bound to touch others with your heart. These things take time (as I am realizing) you have been noticing something wrong. So, you notice for a bit, then you evaluate, then you try and fix it all. You have to spend a bit more time evaluating sometimes, and add a bit of honesty on how this happened. Need, one step to maybe take is making sure you have an half hour a day for just you. Take it, you need it. Just because you take it, doesn't mean that you will be fulfilled, but it does mean that you are giving yourself something, that is just yours, and to me that is important.
Another thing, the people around you aren't in your head, they have no idea what you are doing or needing in there if you don't say it out loud. So sometimes what happens is, you start to feel sadness or anger towards them! (as if they should have known) This is a whole new thing for you to work out too. I am not sure if any of this helps, it isn't really advice, just observation mostly.
I am glad you came back to tell us what is happening, remember, you can always come here and write out what is going on with your life. I do it sometimes, and I do feel better. Hugs Need, and I may need more time with the outfit, but I can cheer cheer cheer for you still... heehee

JJ: Thx and I am working on those other issues, I appreciate your encouragement!
Startover: Your comments always help. Seems we have a lot in common. I am working on communication... blah ick... lol
I just get low sometimes and have to take a deep breath... or two and keep going. I miss fun.. ya know just having FUN. We had a festival in our town , I tried but just no fun. I guess I just want something to get excited about. Something to look forward to. My life is full of drama but is So dull. Does that make sense. I want something to be passionate about. I guess.
Ah I need to take care of other things first... health and such, but... do you ever feel like that? I feel disappointed but I am not sure why... It doesn't make sense to me.
Anyway Thanks for the cheer! It is good to know I am not alone...
How ARE you? Yoga? How's thehousekeeping strike>lol

Hey Need, yes, it feels as if there is something missing in the things we try to do for ourselves. At times, I would love nothing more than everyone to just leave MY house so I can be here by myself, and honestly, that is what I love to do. I would rather stay home and do what ever I want without any interuption, that for sure makes me happy. Then, it all starts over gain till I need them to go... LOL Doesn't that sound so mean? Not really any more, I think it is just the "space" I need, like going to bed a half hour later than everyone else so I can get that time. We (as humans) forget that we have a need to be alone every once in a while. We have a need to collect our thoughts, so why don't you try telling everyone to git to bed and you take a half hour to just sit... or do something you want to get done. Then, you can start by getting out and having some real fun. I seem to think I understand you, I also am a little scared at what I found out about myself after reading your post for the first, second, and more times;)
We both seem to be extremely busy doing nothing but the ordinary. AND that is OK, as long as we add something in there for us. The ordinary is very important, it means we are doing the right things, being a wife, a mother, a friend, and a whatever... but we still need the excitement and the feel as if we are worth more than what we get out of life. WE ARE worth a lot. We are;)
I stopped my yoga, it seems as if every time I start it up again I feel ill, or I get really dizzy. I will start it back again, like you I need to take care of a few health issues, nothing serious, but it does seem to affect me enough to stump me. I would love to see you get into the boring ole Yoga, I just know you would like it. When I first started, I thought it was boring, but then I challenged myself to be better and better and do more and more of it, then it wasn't so boring.
The kids are helping a lot... and my husband seems to be figuring it out too;) I am trying not to see things "undone" as my good friend told me not to;) I am the type of person that can walk through a clean picked up house and still find things to pick up or clean... lol
Any way... you go girl, you try what you want to find out what you need and want. You may not find IT tomorrow, but I promise you will find it eventually;)

Fine,thanks. We are frineds now ^^

Brelee: I am glad we can be friend. How are things with you. You have an international business... is that right? How's that going?
Start: Are you sure you are OK... I use to get sick when I started exercising because I didn't get enough water after getting all those toxins moving about. But the dizziness... blood pressure? Well I understand if you want to keep that all private... I hope all goes well Rah Rah!!
I know what you mean about space. I do get plenty of that. It is why I get up early... or don't mind getting up early. No one at my house would get up at 4 or five lol. And some evening I have, too. Sometimes it is too much most times not enough... lol.
I know what you mean about wanting everone to just leave sometimes. I absolutely feel that way too. I told my guy we needed to build a house next to our so I could have my own place and just visit... lol I said it jokingly... but he thought I was serious and I wanted to leave. I was just kidding, have to watch the way I kid around. I guess I was just trying to let him know I needed space... a clean space... where I don't have to try to relax where dirty dishes are stacked... because then all I do is think about how I need to do them... that is not relaxing.
As far as the fun... its like I don't have fun even when fun is around. I have had depression issues in the past, but have done it without medication. Maybe I need a change in diet... or it could be the cysts... I just miss the old me... so does everyone else. It seems everything is just a huge struggle.
Yet... Compared to many... like all those people in 3rd world countries... I have it so easy.
So I just try to keep that in mind as I trudge along. Getting dressed and out of bed... uhg. BUT I do and get most everything done... there just is no energy left for anything else.
I am glad your kids and hubby are figuring it out! That is wonderful! Make things a bit easier huh?
I am embarrassed to say mine has figured it out... but not doing anything about it. 3 weeks HIS dishes have piled up... yep VERY nasty. I know I should wash them I am dying to wash them!! BUT I am sticking to it... as grossed out as I might be. I rinse them and put them back in the sink. He come home and complains about them and I tell him they are his and everyone else is doing their own. I tell him HE needs to either do them or figure out someone besides me to do them I won't.
I s that awful? I gues it is the princile of the thing. I don't ask for much from him... so... I am sticking to it... and he is talking dishwasher... lol So maybe I will get an appliance out of the deal! LOL
Well back to work I go. I do have a very flexible great job and boss. I think all this is in my "upstairs" I just need to get it in gear! Thanks for all your help and encouragement. You are a great friend!
Thx

Aww... lol, we could sit here and go on forever about what is wrong, can't we. I don't normally gripe on here, I try to stay as positive as I can and as cheery as I can. I know it brings up my spirits to know I make someone smile. So as I drove to work today, I thought hmmm, I wonder if I could just let the dishes sit in the sink. You are way better than me, I suppose knowing kids friends and parents are coming over every couple of days would stop me, I can't bear to have them think I can't clean my house. I started this adult life of mine thinking, it is my duty, my wifely and motherly duty to take care of everything... do what doesn't get done and finish what doesn't get finished. From putting oil in my car to the kids' homework, I feel I have had it up to here! So about a year ago I started to do things for me. My husband found it really odd that I would want to go for a long drive with lots of music, I was gone for hours... and did not want to talk when I got back. I did some pretty "out" of the ordinary things last year! I don't know if it is because I have had too much, OR if I feel as if I have been living in anothers mindset this whole time..? Or is it that I turned 34... and I am not getting younger? I don't know.
I hope you keep your chin up love, no depression, just keep your head clear and be aware that you can fall into a hole! It helps knowing it can happen so we try not to let it. If that makes any sense;) So proud of you to leave the dishes;) YOu make me laugh, we are too much of the same. I am not sad, I love my family, I love what I have to do to make it work, I just would love to see others put in an effort is all;) I have to go now, but of course I will be back to see you!
(about my health, it is a ear thing, I have had a bad ear since I was a kid... vertigo is no fun)

GO NEED GO! You are the bomb:)

Yep, I am engaged in international business.However, it is not very easy for me then I found here and asked for help. I met clough here several ago , he help me a lot.
You are my second friends here, nice to meet you~~

Nice to meet you to brelee;)
Clough is a great guy, he knows lots and does lots of great things with his time.

brelee: Clough does seem to know what he is talking about. I am glad he was able to help. It is nice to meet yoou too! So tell me about yourself... anything I can help with?
Start: Ah the dishes... lol We don't have company over... so I am thankful for that. Yes I couldn't do it under those circumstances. I try not to complain though you can't tell it here... lol this is my vent. All of those bad things I spill here. I too, started thinking it was my duty to do all the things that didn't get done. But I ended up doing it all and I just can't do that. It is teaching my kids the wrong things,that it is OK for the woman to do it all. My son said Hey I can't clean the bathroom it is a woman's job!. oh no no no!! I
I could tell you things and you would ask what are you doing there? BUT this is where I want to be... but I will stand up for myself... On this point.
I am so glad you do things for yourself now. Those rides... aren't they wonderful. My stereo quit in my car and that I miss!! I have other things my money has to go for. I do hope to get that repaired so that I have my music again. Me I sing... albeit off tune... at the top of my lungs!! What a stress reliever!!
I think.. ok hope, the change of mindset is normal. I think we were brought up confused lol. I was told take care of the man and children be a good wife and mother that is your job! That is your focus! Do for them! They come first. On the other hand I was also told you can do anything, have any career you want. Women must strive to be independent. You can't take cr of others unless you place yourself first. So maybe therin lies the struggle. I want both. I just don't... can't be the best at both... at least not yet.
The depression thing... ah it just happens. I do what I can... change my mindset... sometime I just have tolet it come and stop struggling. I do not take medicine... though I have been told I should. I have been that way... well forever. I am better today. I wouldn't say I am normal, whatever that is... but I work on that daily... sometimes I just have to let it come, then I pick myself up and go again. I don't think my situation has anything to do with it. So on that I hope you forgive my slips at times... besides if I had not been down I would never have met you... and you have brought me so much encouragement! And... you make me thinkand laugh!lol
I am sorry about the ear thing. That vertigo IS nasty! Anything I can do to help?
Have you tried CPK?
Thanks for all the help and advice! You too, have touched my life!. Give me an S give me a T how about an A... still cheering for you... whooo hooo!!

Need, you are so funny;)
I will get to you soon... I have to get ready for work. "start, choose...you can talk to Need or you can wear pants to work!" LOL
I got to get dressed.

So... you wore the pants... LOLOL!
I am glad... the looks alone would have given us stuff to talk about forever! I read that and had a mental picture of you hopping around with one leg in your pants and trying to type... HA HA. Thanks for the chuckle... Its all good here. He finally did the dishes!! My day is complete!AND he swept the floor too!
Ah relaxation here I come!!

Nice Need. Go and relax.
Uhhh, I was running across the living room to my room with them hanging over my arm;)
HAHA!

I just feel warm when you say you need someone to talk to and so many people come to comfort you and help you slove the problem, so I stay and join you.

I feel difficult to express myself because I am not good at English. I also feel alone... nevertheless,the biggest thing I'm facing and I have to cope with is how to do my job well

Brelee: It is OK if you are not good at English. We are here as friends. I am not good at any other language, so you see... we are all the same. Is there anything I can do to help you with your job? I know sales are hard to do. I am in sales too. I know if you work hard... Very hard it will work out. The beginning is always the hardest. Once you start getting clients they will come back. Just remember to let them know how YOU can help Them. That is good for any sales. Or if you need to advertise. My own philosophy. Be honest. That to me is key. Many in sales do what it takes to make the sale. They say whatever the consumer wants to hear. Guess what... The consumer just wants the truth. Someone they can trust.
I think you English is fine. I have understood all your threads just fine. And clough can help you put the words into a better arrangement for business writing.
Start: Well I am much better today.I actually FEEL like cheering a bit. How are you? The ear? My boss wanted me to be more social... so I am on a council for the kids school. Just joined. He told me yesterday that I was too honest. Ya know what. I don't care. I can't help that... well I can but if I were a consumer I would want the salesperson to be honest with me. So I am honest about the cars I sell. If I lose a sale because of it that has to be OK. I am one person and won't be able to break the stereotypical dealers and sales people stigma, but I can try to make a reputation for myself right? Besides if it is something that needs taken care of do it... don't pass it off. He is a good man... and more honest than Most. But I flat tell people what I think if they ask and why. I let them know of anything wrong Before they drive. It is what I would want.
Ok... lol... all done.
I like my mental pic better... lol... though reality is funny too! I better go back to bed... I have a long day today... uhg! I have had to stay late the last 3 nights!
Talk to you soon

I'm happy today. I received an enquiry from US. He asked me about shipping cost.

I have ever received enquiries, but after I replied, they did not get back to me again.
It may due to my not professional reply. I must be carefully and Grasp this opportunity to start my first business.

Please wish me luck

I'm happy today. I received an enquiry from US. He asked me about shipping cost.

I have ever received enquiries, but after I replied, they did not get back to me again.
It may due to my not professional reply. I must be carefully and Grasp this opportunity to start my first bussiness.

Please wish me luck

Hi, brelee!

I'm glad that someone responded to you!

Did you get an inquiry because of the ads that you put on the Internet, or was it because of something else, please!

Thanks!

I get the reponce because of the ads I put on the Internet. Thank you so much

I get the reponce because of the ads I put on the Internet. Thank you so much

Hi again, brelee!

If I remember correctly, I did offer to help you, on the other thread that you started, so that you can word your ads the most effectively. That offer still stands. I can also help you to word responses to people when they do respond to your ads.

You have already mentioned on this current thread, the following:



Originally Posted by brelee:
It may due to my not professional reply.


Would you like help in doing that?

Thanks!

Hi,maybe this will give you a bit of help=because like me,you sound like you are just doing too much ,so,take 1 day a week to pamper yourself,read a book, browse stores,eat a ice cream cone,or a nice cup of java,get lost where no one can find you for a day-library,whatever!Until you are your best friend,and can say no without the guilt,things will not change much!You are reading this from a 59 year old who finally has said,it's my time, family is close,but I do have an answering machine,and a do not disturb sign,and I do find that,I can enjoy me,so,hang in there,I am praying for you,it's going to be all right!That friend will come along soon,I am hoping for that for you!

Good Luck Brelee! We are pulling for you!

HI need;)
Cleaning the bathrooms today, might try some good yoga. Already had three cups of coffee and I am on a rolllllll...
How are you?

Sorry Been super busy here. Get bathrooms cleaned? How was the Yoga?. Feeling better?
Hope so! Little blue today but... Rah Rah!! Keeping my chin up!
Have a great day!!

Me too Need. Keep your chin up, I will be rooting for you! WooHoo go Need. :) Stay cool my friend;)

My sign. Other and all 4 kids forgot my b day. This sucks!

That's horrible! Is it your birthday today? Even if it isn't, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I honestly forgot my mom's birthday one year, I felt horrid about it...

Happy Birthday! I hope you did something special for yourself.

Dear Need a friend,
Take a deep breath and exhale. I'm sorry that life sucks and that you are going through a tough time right now. You will be OK, and you will make it through, but you need to take the correct steps to help yourself. You have too much on your plate to deal with. Can't your significant other help out (or someone else you trust - like a teacher, neighbour, tutor) help your son with his homework?

If you are concerned and scared about your finances, you need to dive in, and face it head on: Go to the Website: "Till Debt Do Us Part" and read the steps. You need to figure out A. How much money you bring in per month. B. How much money you spend per month. C. How much debt you actually owe. Then take steps to make sure that you are NOT spending MORE than you bring home, and come up with a plan to tackle that debt.

It's crappy, and difficult and scary - but I believe YOU CAN DO IT.

Trim off the 'extras' you can't afford. Make sure there is enough money to cover for food and a roof over your head. If you can't afford to cover the costs of the teenagers - then they need to get part-time jobs to contribute. Don't pay for their cell phones, and tatoos, and clothing and trips out. You're not their FRIEND. (it's not a competition to win popularity votes.) You're their MOTHER. All you need to provide is love, communication, healthy food, and a solid roof over their heads.

You can DO it. Enlist the help of your SignOther and tell him/her that you're at the end of your rope. Please. You're drained to the point of exhaustion. You're overwhelmed. Baby steps.

You can DO IT! I believe in you.

Xoxoxoxoxo

Happy Birthday! Your significant Other and children shouldn't have forgotten you. Sigh. That's kind of selfish on their part.

Bonnie46 is right you need more time for yourself and if you feel you need a change go for it I'm with you all the way OK!

I wouldn't want to be sweet 16 or 18 again there were lots of thing I did wrong and if I had the chance again to make them aright I would have made different mistakes.

Thank you all! My youngest called at 10:30 to wish me a happy b day. That was great. The others... well my mother remembered. It just hurt my feelings. I had calls all day from them to complain and ask for things... Anyway, oh well right.
Bonnie46: Have done all you suggested except the website. I have ASKED for help. BUT it has never come. I went to the school to find tutors twice... nothing! I have done the bills up, cut costs, and am ready to cut some more. The medical bills are coming in and I have had to put off the rest of the treatment... for a bit. I have come so far but not even close to far enough. No savings noi retirement, but at least most everythging is getting paid. The sign. Other says what can I do to help... then does nothing but add to the mess. Asks me to do more. My boss is asking that I make calls at night at home and on Sunday. The job I can't lose. I have gone on housework strike... to some degree, and I am doing little things to lighten the load.
The main thing is my attitude. I am tired of feeling aweful, then I feel so selfish because... it could be so much worse. Anywaay, I will check out the website right now!
Thanks again... and will continue to work on my attitude.

What you need is a partner to help you with the house I think...
What do you think?

I think I need a wife... lol

Me too... LMAO

Happy birthday sweet neeed!!

THX!! Better now...

How about now?
I am just now sitting down from a day of cleaning in my jammies, cleaned out the junk drawers, did all the filiing... oh man even helped my oldest get his room in tip top shape. It was a nice day. I needed to get those bathrooms done and the laundry is all caught up. I can't seemed to do it ALL during the week while I work, so I suppose if I want it done right, I can let the kids take on a few "smaller" chores as I can finish upon the weekend.
I am wondering if you are doing well? I really want to start my yoga again... PUSH ME SOMEONE!! Tell me my bub bye arm is coming back or something... LMAO

Hey strt... Get to the YOGA!. You sond better when you are doing it!
I am OK... Lots of ups and downs... butI am here.
I understand about getting caught up. I don't know how old the kids are... but... If you don't TEACH them how to do it right they will never learn and then you will be in my shoes. I have teenagers that don't know how to get dishes clean. I know they can but... I t is much easier to teach them small. Once it is a habit for them... it will be a given and they won't think twoice about doing it and doing it right...
I am so glad you wrote... I hope all is well!
RAH RAH You go Girl Do that YOGA!!

Ups and sowns here too... so yoga is probably part of my answer... (the guilt of not doing it cause I know it makes me better)
My kids are 14, 11, 7, and 5... they all have chores and homework. Thanks for the getting it right part. I know I have made the mistake by not really letting anyone do some things. I want it done right so I kind of feel as if I should just do it myself;) I know I know... gosh.
I hope your downs turn to ups! WE HAVE to DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT an UP though... so tell me what you are going to do;) Hugs! Go Need Rah Rah Rah... GO NEED

I am doing my best. Self talk and all... Yes I admit I talk to myself... lol!I am just doing what I can when I can to take care of myself, and trying to keep so balance everywhere else!
Glad to hear from you start... missed ya1

I talk to myself tooooooooo:)

Hey Start. Its good to know I am not alone in that. I am having one of those days. Wow it is a real whopper! I can seem to get past it. My whole life I have fought to stay normal or what ever that is and this Thing is raising its aweful head... What is wrong with me? Why can't I get it to stop!
Uhg! Ok got to go and get my stuff together. Work work

I love to sing out loud... and I find myself saying Oh YEAH... or just positive little quirks when I like what just happened...
I don't have a conversation but I do say things out loud sometimes;)
I think everyone's normal is different;) So if we can start to take value in those differences, we will all be better. Hugs... gotta get ready for work too... I am going to be crushed with the political talk today, I just know it!

Did my yoga... Ohhhhh... OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH...
I will be sore tonight;)
Have a great day Need... see you;)

Hope you had a great day... mine was better. Whoo hoo Start do that yoga!!

Need, you doing OK now? Remember, we can't always be perfect, nor can we always have a smile on our face... we are human;) Hugs. Going to do my Yoga, and no matter what falls apart around me, or you... we will come out alive;)

Doing better and still alive.Hugs 2 u2! Thanks start you are a great cheer leader!!

GREAT! I will do my Yoga after cleaning.
I think I need a week to go and clear my mind... then "startover" you know? People keep saying just take a day off... go do something for yourself... I don't want to sound greedy but a whole entire lifestyle change is needed... not a day off. Does that sound mean? A DAY is not going to farkin cut it. LOL I sound harsh, huh? You, I know;)

I DO understand and I hear THAT! I am right there with you.No it doesn't sound mean. You give and give. Takes a lot of rain to fill up a dry lake... It would take a month just to be able to function a half!
I am here though. Not much but you can yell if you want... lol!!
I am at work I get to clean ALL day tomorrow!
Maybe the yoga should come first... if it helps!

Thanks Need. :):):)

I am going to be just fine, just like you are. Make little changes at a time then go for the gusto! Go Need and Start... GOOOOOO!
I could have gone into work, and I almost did, just to get away from here for a bit. That just doesn't sound right so I stayed here. LOL I have help, just... oh its such a long story and I don't even want to start so, we will stay where we are and just know you are not alone. AND neither am I. YOGA YOGA YOGA!

TOGA TOGA... oh YOU said YOGA... lol... Yep I am here. Leaving work for paperwork... Will be on 2mro! GO START!! Whoo whoo!! U can do it!!

Try your best to get out there, never be too busy for anything...

Get in shape, be healthy, be happy... go out to clubs... meet people... it's hard but practice makes perfect. (:

Legs are feeling like spaghetti and I have been doing my yoga... Ohhhh
Ohhhhh
Ohhhhhhhhhh:)
I hope I can get back to where I left off, seriously!
Hope you are great Need;) Keep goin' with yourself stuff, its great!

Hey start. Getting along here. Proud of you and the yoga! Great job. Working out the kinks here... back to the DR. I go... and then some!

Hey your in the same track as mine.I am left alone.I did a lot to my friends but they just left me.I started loving loneliness

Thanks Vev... here if you need to talk
Wish me luck. I am going all out. I have one month to get it together. Ya know, Quit smoking, change my diet, get healthy. So... Here I go!!

I am 35 and I just need a friend. I need someone I can talk to about what is going on in my life, ask advice, chat with, and return the favor. I work alot and have No friends. I am lonely and just need some advice on where I could find someone who will chat with me on a serious level.
Any suggestions?

U can try some social networking sites.even I am alone since child but these sites provde a great relief for my pain

Thanks Vev ...here if you need to talk
Wish me luck. I am going all out. I have one month to get it together. Ya know, Quit smoking, change my diet, get healthy. So.....Here I go!!!!!

Ohhhhh good luck!! Need, tell me your plan? I can't imagine doing all that at once...
BUT, if you are willing and that is what you want to do... then GO NEED GO! WOO Hoo!

Vev: I do use networking. It does help THX I am glad you too find help there. Why are you so alone?
Start: OK Are you ready? Well I continue to have cramps and such. My father is in alternative medicine. He has a network of people incl. Med Dr.s. SO... I took a month off work. Tues. I get the no smoking shot... again. Also will go up there for a yeast kill and start back I will be staying with him for a week.He has a massage therapist along withlots of other things that can help. I started therapy yesterday UHG and I went and got the sonogram the medical dr wanted me to get. SO... I may not get it all done. I may not succeed in every area. I don't know... BUT I don't have the extra stress. My boss said. Just go get a historectomy and get it over... WOW that was cold. I wanted to tell him to get castrated and then we would talk, but kept my mouth shut and my job intact.
My sign. Other is being very supportive and told me to do whatever I needed to do. So I am
There is a YMCA where my father lives so I can start an exercise regimine of sorts.
Wish me LUCK... and how's that yoga coming?

GOOOOOOD LUCK! That is great sweet Need. Thank goodness for great dads and smart daughters to accept help from them:)
You get your stuff taken care of and uh... dont ever tell your boss to go and do that. You may not have a job afterward! HAHAHAHAHA
My yoga is fine;)

Thanks for the support need. I still have my wits about me when it comes to NOT saying things that would get me fired... lol
So how are you your ear your family your goals?

My ear is fine. Better as it will get.;) I am doing my yoga everyday, I am so happy for that! I am working on the goals, but it is more complicated that I want to get into. The kids are fine and they are helping, they still act sometimes like they shouldn't even have to clean their room, but for the most part we get past that and all in all they make out with allowance every week;) My daughter is the biggest help... I always knew she would be.
When are you leaving? Are you going to have puter access?

tues. Yep will be writing you lol I am glad things are better and am here for the complications. My sonogram shows all clear so still have NO idea what is going on... uhg. Well we know what its not. So... I will keep in touch

If you ever need someone to chat to then visit my myspace page and I will be more than happy to discuss life its Michelle's view hun xxx

Cute: Thx will do...
Start... miss you... how are you? The yoga? I failed but... will try again... have made progress in other areas though;)...

If you made progress then you haven't failed sweet Need;)
Good job...
N is for new
E is for exciting
E is for energy
D is for determination...
GO NEED!

Hugs...

Thanks Start!
S is for super!
T is for Terrific!
A is for Amazing!
R is for REAL!
T is for Timeless
The kind of friend you are to me! Thanks start... Have a great holiday!!

Awww shucks... you are good.
YOu have a great holiday too sweet Need. Golly!

Happy Thanksgiving... I am Thankful for you!
Hope all is well!

Hi, I'm 33, in a very similar situation. New to my surrounds and alone. I have no friends too close to me. Just looking for some online chat and companionship. I've tried multiple ways of keeping myself occupied, most of the time it still comes back to needing someone to chat with. Human interaction. Anyone want to chat?

Volk: sure anytime. I know exactly what you mean.
How was your holidays? What are your hobbies?
Start: How were your holidays. I have missed our chats...

Yoga and some working today... I need to make up some hours;)

Hope your Thanksgiving was great. I had a nice time;)

How are all your little plans turning out?

I wasn't able to attend Thanksgiving dinner this year. Had to work and family is a little too far to do both. Things go up and down lately. I've been coping, but haven't found any real solutions to the lonliness. This is the first time I've ever been alone for more than a few days. I noticed that I went over a day without even speaking to anyone. That's weird. I like being alone and having my own schedule, but I do need some human interaction. You know.. without taking drastic measures. I go to work just to hang out with others sometimes. I know, pathetic. I work out as much as I can to pass time and not sit around and drink beer. I don't know. I'll eventually find some friends I guess.

Start:... well not so good... but still trying. I have rested though!
Volk: I am sorry that you weren't able to attend Thanksgiving dinner. I have lived in this area most of my life and still haven't figured out how to make friends. I DO like to be alone... Too Much. I get lonely for conversation. I am around people all day but... no real conversation. So what do you do for a living. You moved by yourself? Not married or have kids?
The working out is good. It produces the GOOD hormones... but I bet you already knew that. Do you live in a small town?
I hope to hear from you soon!

Need a friend:
I split up with a girlfriend who I am in great debt to. She helped me through my previous divorce and we really did have something, but she was drinking too much and then a bunch of other personal things happened over the course of a year, so I just cut it off, she didn't want to help herself and I needed to get away. For the better. I was able to live temporarily at a friends place for a month until I found a place. Found a place closer to work and now it's just me. Lonely and 40 miles from family and friends. I don't know anyone in the area really. I just hang out and work out, ride my bikes and surf the net and eat and drink and sleep. Talk to a friend of mine on the phone once and a while. Really depressing stuff. I would much rather not talk about my jobs outside of they are the only things I've had to look forward to. It's not a small town, but it's no metropolis either. I've never been alone before. It's depressing.

Volkl,
I know how you feel. I moved 60 miles from my family and it is hard! That was along time ago for me. I was in the same delima as you. All I did was work eat and sleep. I still don't have any friends either. I like to be alone. BUT there are times I need someone to talk to. I wish I knew what to say to make things OK for you. It sounds like you are smart if you got away from the drinking...
I am the girlfriend that helped through the divorce, but he started drinking not me.
I am still here and it is not as bad as it was in the beginning by a long stretch but I wish he would quit altogether. He is a 3 nighter. Goes out 3 or 4 nights a week. But is usually home by 10 and the bar is 3 blocks away.
Is there anyone at work that you could hang with after?
Well I know I can't fix the problem so I will quit trying... LOL I am here for you if you want to talk... startover22 has been a great friend for me... and a great cheerleader.
Tell me about you... what kind of workouts do you do? Weights?
Any other interests or hobbies you have or would like to have? Fav color?

Need?? How are you? I am doing good, slowing on the yoga but getting my life in some sort of order. I am getting the total gym thingy, I need more muscle and I can't seem to use the free weights cause of my back. Work is nuts, kids are crazy, and we got our Christmas tree up.

GO NEED GO!

VOLK, make yourself get out of the house and do something... you have to or you will go crazy. Get involved. be a big brother or volunteer, do crafts with kids after school... help your community. (if time allows that is)
Good luck!

Well... I ride my bike often. Not just indoors. Even though it cold out, I force myself to get out and that's nice, went riding on Saturday, Colder than... I ski, went skiing on Sunday. Was helping my 4 yr old niece improve her technique. Well.. you know She's 4. LOL. Needless to say I had a good weekend. As for volunteering I've been considering helping at the hospital. Right now I volunteer my services for a local social club, but that is getting old and I really want to get out of it.

Things are going better.. but there's always going to be harder times.

Volk, There will always be better times too!! It is good that you stay active. I would love to learn to ski... alas... It is FLAT where I live! Try to find the good! We are here for you!!
Start>>>Great! I want a total gym thingy too!! Goy my treadmill up but had to make a fast dash 1000 mile trip... got caught in a snow storm in the dark in a v6 rear wheel drive car going up a mountain!! AAAAHHHH! I thought I was going to have to ghost write you!! lol.
I am glad the yoga is still going!! Go START go! No christmas tree for us this year YEAH!!
Back to work... boo hoo... will write again soon!!

Volk... wow, you are better than me. Great job.

Need?? HOW YOU DOIN"?

So this is where you've been hiding out Starty! ;) Needafriend, I just wanted to say that you are lucky to have happened upon our Starty girl! I missed this thread somewhere in the mix!

Us BCBW girls stick together! :D

So this is where you've been hiding out Starty! ;) Needafriend, I just wanted to say that you are lucky to have happened upon our Starty girl! I missed this thread somewhere in the mix!

Us BCBW girls stick together!! :D

O H M Y G O S H! I was stalked... thanks Starbs, that was surenice of you to say. Need is great as well and we are getting through it all together... if she would ever come on back... heehee:D Merry Christmas all;)

LOL>>>OK>>>OK>>>I am back!! Whoo HOO!! Things are... better. How about you start? How you doing?
Glad tou are here star!!
Happy Christmas and Merry New year... Y'ALL!!

Merry Christmas. I am great, and its time to get ready for work, and get off work, and then let the holiday begin;) Hugs!

LOL>>>OK>>>OK>>>I am back!!!!!Whoo HOO!!!Things are...better. How bout you start? How ya doin?
Glad tou are here star!!!
Happy Christmas and Merry New year...Y'ALL!!!!

Happy to be here! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Need, where in the heck are you? How are you doing, are you holding up? I hope you are;)

Wow I was just thinking about you. I am... holding up. I had that time off work then got good and sick and was off for a week and a half. I am now doing everything for the other business and considering another part time job to make ends meet. The daughter moved out... moved with her boyfriend :( had a pregnancy scare decided to get married march 8th and can't afford her rent and want to fix up the house place we bought for her... right now!! So needless to say that in itself is... something.. I miss my boys... they are too busy for me and the other one I just seem to fight with over grades, his car, his chores... everything. RL and I are fine... we don't see each other much... he is working his pants off and need to buy another truck and hire someone else to help but then that cuts down our income even more... Kind of a catch 22. I was working out and walkng everyday. Plus eating better... I got sick and well... I need to get back to it.
So how about you? Getting some help around the house? How is the yoga going? How's the ear?
Let me know... I have been thinking of you... Just sometimes can't get slowed down until my body finally gets sick enough I have to stop... lol... keeping on keeping on!!
Hope to hear from you soon!!

WAIT... how old is your daughter? I forgot how old your kids are??
Need, you bought her a house? And you can't make ends meet? Need something isn't right here, and we need to get to the bottom of it...
Ohhh I hope you get back to you... keep on keeping on;)

She is 18... we bought her a mobile home... it is older and needs a lot of work... we bought it a year ago because we had land already ready for one... we thought OK... this will give her a place of her own but close to us rent free for college... she had close to a free ride to college... yep dumped the college so far. So the place has just been sitting because she decided she was too good for a "trailer" even if it was rent free. She has been on her own "w/ her bf" for 2&1/2 mo. And can't afford her rent because she dumped her job too!! So she got another job but they can't afford to stay where they are living... If she would have listened... The house would have been done... she wants a new car... and a wedding... and the house done... all right now... I can't help... but though I have told her... money grows on trees at my house you know!!
Granted we bought it and it needs a lot of work... but... it could have been a starting place... but she couldn't wait and now we don't have the time to help... wait I am pulling my magic want out of my pocket...
As far as me... I haven't forgotten... I don't push... we saved and finally got a dishwasher... BIG HELP!! And I am going back to exercise and eating right... So... I am good for now.
I know this sounds... well childish... but... I think of me I just wish THEY would think of me once in awhile too... ya know. But then... I have YOU!! lol
Thanks for hangin in there w/ me!! It is great to visit with you again!!

Hi need! How are you? Did our Starty girl take off? Wow, your daughter sure looked a gift horse in the mouth didn't she? I'm sure she'll be sorry she did that!

Naw, it doesn't sound selfish;)

Need, you need not to fix up the house. I think if she wants anything, you should go back to the first agreement and she can go to college and live there... (no boyfriend living in) and then tell her that is what it is, she has one month to make up her mind, get signed up for college, or the rest is up to her an she will be paying rent to live in that place. Just my opinion, but you first came on here saying how selfish they were... remember? I suppose not getting what she wants sucks... but not being able to pay her rent does too;) She will get the point if you are tougher with her.

I never knew you had money growing on trees and magic wands... gosh I found a good friend to hold on to, didn't I? I want you to send me the seeds to that magic tree please... oh and if you let me "borrow" your magic wand, I PROMISE I will return it;)

Let her make her mistakes herself... tell her what you think along the way, support her with emotions an not money... she will learn to be a good woman that way;) Hard lessons humble us to do the right things, and that I think is the most important thing a kid can learn;)

I am trying to be both. I already told her she is paying to fix it up. She is getting married one way or another. I was told by my parents that if I stayed with RL they wouldn't help me in any way. And they don't nor do I ask them Nor do I need it. I am an adult. However... that hurt. It felt like they were saying choose me or him... She is my step daughter. Her mother is a wothless jerk. I am a nice person... I don't say that lightly. The kids would go over there and she would leave them in the middle of summer with NO electric to go drink at the bar. She would end up having a houseful of strange people staying the weekend. The kids have been through SO much. AND I don't have any support as far as that goes. RL has coddled her and then had nothing to do with her. I am going to make it clear... IF she decides she needs a baby right now... she can pay her own way. I just can't see bringing a new life into this mess...

Good Girl need, make yourself extremely clear;)

Now... bak to feeling good? Walking... listening to great music, you got a MP3 player?

Yep... feeling like dookie today... but back to it...

Back to it is right! If I have to... then so do you;) Positive positive positive Need, that is the key. Keep your chin up;)

For the past few days I have had a white clumpy discharge, similar to wet toilet paper. It is not slimy, sticky and it has an abnormal smell and at times may taste very bitter or sour. I have no pain but some itching. After inserting a finger into the area, the finger is covered in these white clumbs.