I have seen a guy I like a few times for dates... though I have known him for a couple of years and we keep in touch every now and then. Things have developed a bit more over the last couple of months but not into any type of relationship. The thing is I think I am now getting back together with my ex and moving away from the area.. I feel I owe it to this guy to be upfront and tell him the truth about my plans rather than just leave things with nothing being said and have him find out through someone else. Am I right to do this... not even sure what he thinks of me but feel as though I owe it to him to be honest or should I just leave things... please help, this is stressing me out big time, I don't want him to end up hating me, I do love and respect him but don't think we can have a future together and feel I have too much history with my ex not to give it a go with him. Thanks.

I imagine he may get the idea you have been thinking of this while you dated him, so likely he will be shocked and maybe hurt anyway. If you have basically been honest along the way, I could see continuing to be, but if you have been hiding contact with your ex, he may not take its so well.

Either way, the sooner you let him know your decision, the better.

Thank you for your response, I think I do need to tell him then, one of my friends suggested that I just let things naturally fizzle out between us, but I think if it was me I would want someone to be honest with me and tell me the truth rather than hearing it from someone else, but it will certainly be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, he is such a nice guy which makes it all so difficult

If I were in his position, I would want you to tell me.

Things have developed a bit more over the last couple of months but not into any type of relationship.

I can understand,from this,that it was ONLY friendship that you had,with this other
Male,wich left you open to get back with your ex.


I owe it to this guy to be upfront and tell him the truth about my plans

Yes,it would be much better to tell him the truth,which would show,then,that the
Friendship you had with him,however short, DID have some meaning to it. :)

It was more than just friends, guess what I meant was we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend but thanks for your comment, the more feeback I see, the more I think I should be honest and hope he takes it okay and doesn't end up hating me...

You don't get to choose how he reacts. If he hates you, he hates you. Does that mean you don't do the right thing to save yourself from that? No, of course not. Part of being a successful grownup is learning not to hide the truth to avoid discomfort... that's how 10 year olds think.

So, tell him, tell him now, stop thinking about yourself and just tell him. "The truth will set you free" also refers to the fact that once you tell him, you'll also be free of the stress NOT telling him is causing you.