Still bored with life, in college now, worse than high school but ill manage. Still trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing at least the army is paying for my school which is good because if I was paying for this "life experience" I would want a refund. Except I have to give up 8 years of my life when I get out of college not like I have anything better to do with it. Anyway just letting you all know I am still here I guess or something like that. I'm not going to talk to anyone in real life so I'm just going to come here every once in a while and make a stupid post like this to occupy my time. It's just kind of weird, life is exactly what I expected it to be, boring. Don't get me wrong I don't sit around all day, I do physical training every morning, I do field training exercises with the military, I go to phoenix and Las Vegas, Mexico. Still haven't found anything "exciting" to do, I've done a ton of things that may be exciting to everyone else but not to me.

I don't know if it's normal or not but I have this strong urge to do something dangerous or do something illegal and get caught. It's kind of strange how all the things I want to do are forbidden and I will get in trouble for it I guess they do that to make it exciting. However, on second thought if I did something like that I would get in lots of trouble and everyone would like down on me for being weak... but I wonder do they only look down on me because I was strong enough to do something they wouldn't?

You seem to be on the road to self destruction. Some people would give anything to do what you say you are doing and enjoy every minute of it as a life experience.

You need professional help, either that or find someone to share your life with, maybe giving to someone else (either emotionally or financially) will give you some satisfaction and self respect, because self respect is what you are sadly lacking and if you don't have that, then, your are right, just give up.

seenbutnotheard,

I think your name says tons. Is it a sense of significance that you yearn for?

There is a book, "Search for Significance," by Robert McGee. Maybe there's something there for you.

Another book, "The Art of Understanding Yourself," was helpful to me some years back. It's by Cecil Osborne. I found it not long ago at amazon.com at good prices for used copies.

Personally, for me, the Bible is life's road map. If that turns you off, it's okay to delete this paragraph for now. Maybe you might, at some later time, remember that I said it.

I hope things improve for you. I don't want things and time to continue to seem a waste.

Caring,

IM4U