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View Full Version : My first attempts at writing a song! How to make it better?


avenger9000
Sep 18, 2008, 03:32 AM
Hey guys this is my first attempt at writing a song, and I really need some help on the lyrics, and how to make them better. I wrote the verse, the prechorus, and part of the chorus because I got stuck.. so please help! Here's the bits I have written/. And maybe also you can suggest a title for it :-)


When I look back at my life
So filled with misery and strife
I can't help but burst into tears
Wish someone was there to wash away my fears


When I look at this crazy world
Lying, betrayal, guns and swords
Into the hopelessness I stare
Wondering why nobody seems to care


PreChorus

Yes, life is unfair, life is mean
Makes me want to cry, want to scream
But don't fret, there is still hope
The one life saving rope:


Chorus

Jesus, our saviour and only hope
Even in the times whe life is the hardest cope

silverfox1988
Sep 18, 2008, 05:26 PM
It's good, but if you want some advice- Sometimes when we write lyrics, we can focus too much on making it rhyme and fit, and in doing this, we sometimes lose the meaning of the lyrics and limit ourselves to what we want to say.

I'm guessing the song has Christian relevance, so you could refer to the bible for title ideas.

Luvscats11
Sep 18, 2008, 05:31 PM
I really like it :). Rhyming is on the safe side. But it really depends on how you want your temp to go. I think that you should for with silverfox's idea and do a bible reference. How about one that talks about how your empty without the Lord? Um.. Psalms has some good ones :)
Hope this helps,
Kristine

avenger9000
Sep 18, 2008, 10:16 PM
Yeah um. Basically, what inspired me is the suicidal moments I have had about a week ago that lasted well 3 or 4 days until I snapped out of it and realised that well God is still there He has never and will never give up on me... even though my life sucks and this world is well bad.

Hope that gives you more information to work with!

AmyLeefreak
Sep 22, 2009, 03:20 PM
It's good and clever. But, try to think about each emotion you were feeling at momeant. Just beacues one word sounds good with another doesn't mean you have to wright it.:)

Sylvanta Sybil
Sep 23, 2009, 01:27 AM
Cool! What's the genre? I mean besides Christian, is this rock?

Clough
Sep 23, 2009, 01:02 PM
Cool! What's the genre? I mean besides Christian, is this rock?

Hi, Sylvanta Sybil!

A lot of contemporary Christian music is rock.

Thanks!