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marylulu028
Sep 17, 2008, 07:43 AM
Ok so for starters I was in a relationship that lasted for 2 years and 6 months! I mean I am still completely inlove. But when I talk to my ex...I ask him if he still loves me and he says he does!!

I mean i just dont get it.....the reason we broke up was because he said he wanted his own space! He wanted to be alone and figure out if he really loves me...Which I think is like ok either you know you love me or you dont!!!!!!! So he said yes I do, but then why do this to me you know? Ugh it just frustrates me....and ever since the break up I have been calling him so in a way I havent been able to really give him his space....We were living together for 1 year and a half! So its veryy hard for me just to stop calling. I mean yes I understand he needs his space...but if you love me why can't we just work things out!!!!!!!!! I just need help to figure out what it is that the problem might be?????? Does he love me? Or he just lying to me? PLease HELP!:confused:

Romefalls19
Sep 17, 2008, 07:52 AM
Only he knows that, we can't answer that question for you. He says he wants his space, so its best to give it to him and lots of it. Stop calling and having any contact with him, he will contact you if he wishes too. The more you push the further he moves away. You may think you're showing you care but he sees it as you being needy

kp2171
Sep 17, 2008, 08:03 AM
You are missing the point. You need space here as much, if not more, than he does.

I've loved two great women that I couldn't be with... call it timing, me not ready, issues in the relationship... sometimes you are in love with someone, but can't be with them.

And that might be you being in love with a person who isn't right for you. Or maybe he is. You don't know.

But what he needs IS space. You need him to feel what its like to be without you. Gone.

no... its not what you want. Not what you're hoping for. Not easy.

But necessary. Very much needed.

Back off and leave him alone. If your absence drives him to contact you, keep some distance. At this point he needs to be chasing you down to be with you... and even if he contacts you, you don't know if its because of a change of heart or if he just misses the security of the known, the comfort of the familiar.

Well... comfort of the familiar isn't sexy, isn't lasting, isn't enough.

So... time to do the hard work that he has demanded.

Back off. Back away. He has asked for distance. Time to make it. Don't be his butler. Don't be the girl who holds his hand emotionally while he is dumping you.

Be the girl who is strong enough to demand more for herself and from herself. The reality is you are not together right now.

Time to refocus your energy on yourself, your work, your friends... even a little anger doesn't hurt.

But do not, under any circumstances, go out of your way to make it easy for him. If stepping back means you "lose him" faster... you didn't have a chance anyway.

talaniman
Sep 18, 2008, 10:33 AM
Your the problem, as your efforts to keep a dead relationship alive, has you confused and miserable.

You have not let go, nor given him his space after its obvious he doesn't want to work things out.

Do yourself a favor, and cut all contact, and get a better perspective on your actions.