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helpnow
Sep 16, 2008, 03:58 PM
I just had a falling out with a co-worker female friend of mine. We've worked together for about six months or so now. Basically she has become a friend I confide in at lunch hour and occasionally go out with on a Saturday night. Well I am single and always spill my dating dilemmas and dramas to her when it hits lunch hour. Mind you I am doing the whole match.com thing. So basically I have been on a slew of dates and in a recent conversation I started up with her she cut me off in a raised voice where anyone around could here ( we were in our work cafeteria ) and said I'm sick of hearing about guys you go out with... don't you have anything else to talk about etc. I was completely in shock and also embarrassed due to our surroundings. I told her it was rude how she responded and she did apologize for her tone of voice but continued on about how its all I talk about and that there is something wrong with me dating so much. I feel extremely pis*ed off right now because I feel like 1. She is judging me and now I feel like I cannot confide in her 2. She embarrassed me in our place of employment and 3. Making me feel like I am doing something wrong for dating as much as I do. FYI I go on maybe 2-4 dates a month... which in my opinion is not excessive. What do other people make of this encounter I had with my "so called" friend.

jjwoodhull
Sep 16, 2008, 05:54 PM
Who you are dating or how many dates you go on is your business. If you are happy with it that is all that matters.

I am assuming that your friend is not judging the dating, but is annoyed about something else. In your own words, you "are always spilling your dating dilemas and dramas on her". Do you give her an opportunity to talk about her problems?

helpnow
Sep 16, 2008, 06:51 PM
Oh yeah... she is a talker and I always listen to whatever drama she has going on in her life. She tried to make it sound like she was more concerned that I date so much... I guess I just don't understand her point of view and she doesn't understand mine. Regardless of whether we agree or not on MY dating life is irrelevant though... I think how and where she brought it up was RUDE! And I also think that I don't feel comfortable sharing anything personal with her from this point on. And I understand that maybe she is sick of hearing the dating story of the week... but I know that many of my friends may share things I don't want to hear about etc. but I would never react that way... if anything I'd just attempt to change the subject. She is very known for her moods... She is either the "center of attention" loud, joke teller of the office or irritably b*tchy... I've just never been the brunt of it before now.

jjwoodhull
Sep 16, 2008, 06:54 PM
I agree that there is not excuse for the way she handled the situation. It doesn't sound like she's a very good friend. Be cordial to her, but don't tell her any more personal details.

SweetDee
Sep 17, 2008, 08:50 AM
Wow, that's embarrassing! I think I would have also been very taken aback if someone I thought was my friend put me on the spot like that.

I would definitely not talk to her about my dating anymore. Clearly you were the "brunt" of her attitude this day! Now you know FIRST HAND why she's considered the way she is...

I also hope that you don't cut her off completely. You don't need to make an enemy at the work place. Just keep things nice and polite and easy going. Try not to make a big issue of having felt that she was rude toward you. You know it and everyone else knows that she was totally inappropriate... to bring it up to her is only going to start drama.

It's never a good idea to become too personal w/ people at work...

helpnow
Sep 17, 2008, 08:54 AM
It just sucks because I really don't have that many girlfriends... I have a 2 girlfriends I see once every few months and this co-worker. So it just sucks losing a girlfriend... (or so I thought) when I don't have that many to spare.

SweetDee
Sep 17, 2008, 08:56 AM
Well, don't look at it like you "lost" her... just have her in your life as a work friend...

Try and make REAL friends out of the work place.