My 6 yr old is out of control he has been diagnosed with add, adhd, bi-polar and ocd. He is on 3 diff types of medication and I feel that none of them are working, he is very angry at times and is very rude and disrespectful. When I talk to him he has a blank look in his eyes like he is not hearing a word I am saying. He breaks things, he steals toys from school, I do make him take them back and he just bounces all over the place. I have tried the corner, the time out chair and even spanking but when I get on to him he just laughs , he is mean and hits other people, he cusses, and he does this not only at home but also at school. He eats crayons at school and I don't understand why he does this. I have tried everything. What can I do Please help. I am lost and tired. The Rainville Family

I would suggest get some professional help. He seems to be very angry. Perhaps the choice of medication is not right for him.

He has had professional help and all they want to do is change his medication it works for a while but then it stops. Eventually the meds are going to run out and then what.

If you trust your doc, eventually they will find a drug combo that works. Have you exhausted all methods of discipline

Well I have tried the corner, the time out chair, spanking, grounding, no computer, no Game Boy, sitting in his room which I have to hold the door closed with my hands, and when he is really out of control I have to sit down and hold him like a baby so he can't hit me or hurt hisself. Can you think of any other ways to discipline him I am all out of ideal's but I am taking him back to the dr. next week I have even thought about boot camps but I can't afford and I am not sure if they will take a 6 yr old.

Have you tried changing his diet? I would talk to a nutritionist. A lot of people have seen great results with diet change for kids who have ADD or ADHD. My son also has ADHD, we just recently found out, and we are slowly changing his diet to see if it helps.

Just remember that this is not his fault, this is a disorder and he very likely can't control most of his actions. Love him, be patient with him, and try to find either a natural way, or the right medication to help your child.

Good luck.

I know its not his fault that's why I only spank him when I think he deserves it, but I just don't feel that a diet change will help him. I have been dealing with this for 6 yrs and its only gotten worse. Sometimes I feel that he knows what he is doing and likes how he acts it makes him feel strong. But if we keep going down this path I feel something bad is going to happen to him if not now when he grows up like end up in jail or dead and I don't want him to go through this all of his life there has to be something out there that will work.

Keep in contact with the doctor, and if you don't believe it is helping, you may want a second opinion even. Also talk with them about diet, not in all cases I am sure, but I had a stepson before that was suppose to be ADD and after a change in diet no problems what so ever

SUGAR IS A MAIN CULPRET ALONG WITH DAIRY AND WHEAT. I think there are other better methods of discipline, that when done correctly help. I have heard nothing from you regarding positive reinforcement.

Then you did not read what I had to say very good, I also said I know its not his fault, that is why I am looking for help, he does get rewards for being good he gets allowance, he gets to go fishing, and all sorts of things, but I am not trying to find help on his good behavior I am trying to get his add undercontrol so until you have been in my shoes don't judge me on how I raise my child. He is not a bad child I was just explaining his situation I was not saying I punish him 24 hours a day 7 days a week. So if you do not have a child in this situation then your input is not helpful to me because you have no idea how hard it is to raise an add, adhd, bi-polar, and ocd child I came on here to find some helpful input but all you people want to do is criticize. So I will find the help on my own. I love my son very much and I hate to see him going through this, it makes me very sad but I am not going to reward his bad behavior even though he can not control his actions, the worse I do is take his Game Boy and computer privelages away, My son has a very stable house hold and diet. He takes vitamins and he is very healthy. This will be the last thing I post. Because I am not going to defend my parenting to people who criticize because I know I am a good parent who loves her children very much, and this was not the kind of help I was looking for. I wanted to talk to parents who are in the same situation as me not people who are on the outside looking in because its easy for you to judge when you have not been in the situation. Sorry if you do not like my response but that is how I feel.

Take out all foods that contain Red Dye #5!! This can be a huge culprit. Also, you say you have gotten him professional help and they continue to change the meds... finding the right meds can be like finding a needle in a haystack. Does he see a psychologist (these do not prescribe meds).

Sounds more like ODD to me

Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_with_oppositional_defiant_disorder)

Yes I have taken him to psychologist and they did prescribe medicine, which did not work so it had to be changed. He is now on Amphetimine salt, seriquel, and Paxil I do hate giving him this medication. Could you tell me what types of food contain red dye and how does that effect a child with adhd. Yes I have been reading more into the adhd and I am going to take him to the doctor and find out if he has odd, if he has odd would the medication he is on now not help that or is there a certain med for the odd. I have also been reading up on the patch for adhd do you think it might be more effective for him than a pill. Thank you for your input.

Six years old is TOO young to be on some of these medications and can actually exacerbate the problems he is having. BTW, psychologists cannot prescribe medications, only psychiatrists can.

I am not really familiar with the patch. But if your son has been diagnosed with ADHD, then he needs to be on stimulants, none of these medications are stimulants, and may be making the situation worse than it really is. Stimulants, such as the dreaded Ritalin, actually help to calm the child with ADHD, whereas if someone without ADHD took it, it would make them hyperactive.

With ADHD, stimulants actually act in reverse as to what one would think they do according to the name, they actually calm the child. Your child is on antidepressants which counteract with the ADHD and worsen the problems.

I am sorry I meant he has been to a psychiatrist not a psychologist, so you think that the med he is on is making him worse because they put him on this when he was 5. I will for sure take him back to diff doctor and find out what is going on. What would you suggest he be taken off. He takes 20mg of paxil 1x a day, and amphetimine salt 10 mg 2x a day, and seroquel 50 mg 1x 25mg in morning and 1x 50 mg at night so a total of 75mg a day of seroquel. Thanks once again.

If he has ADHD, he is most definitely on the wrong medications. He should be on Ritalin, or Concerta or Strattera.

Psychiatrists only prescribe medications, while psychologists talk to get to the root of the problem. Might want to consider using a psychiatrist for the meds and a psychologist for "talk" therapy.

At 5 these meds are too strong for a child of that age. I, personally, would never allow my child on these drugs at the tender age of 5.

Since I am not his personal physician, a psychiatrist or a psychologist, I hesitate to recommend which medication to take him off, but I would like to give advice as to which meds to bring up to the doctor you take him to. Ask the doctor the benifits/risks of changing to a stimulant such as I described above (Ritalin, Strattera, Concerta).

The amphetamine salt you describe is otherwise known as Adderall and should be avoided in persons with manic depression, otherwise known as bipolar disorder (see here Drugs and Treatments - Amphetamine Salt Combo Oral - Warnings from WebMD (http://www.webmd.com/drugs/drug-32556-Amphetamine+Salt+Combo+Oral.aspx?drugid=32556&drugname=Amphetamine+Salt+Combo+Oral&pagenumber=5) )

Paxil should not be taken, typically under age 24,


Before taking Paxil
Do not use Paxil if you are using pimozide (Orap), thioridazine (Mellaril), or an MAO inhibitor such as isocarboxazid (Marplan), tranylcypromine (Parnate), phenelzine (Nardil), rasagiline (Azilect), or selegiline (Eldepryl, Emsam). Serious and sometimes fatal reactions can occur when these medicines are taken with Paxil. You must wait at least 14 days after stopping an MAO inhibitor before you can take Paxil. After you stop taking Paxil, you must wait at least 14 days before you start taking an MAOI.

Before taking Paxil, tell your doctor if you are allergic to any drugs, or if you have:

*liver or kidney disease;
*a bleeding or blood clotting disorder;
*seizures or epilepsy; or
*bipolar disorder (manic depression), or a history of drug abuse or suicidal thoughts.


In my opinion, time to find a new mental health care provider, one who specializes in children.

So you are saying that paxil and amphetamine is bad for a child with bi-polar I will definatley check into that, what about the seroquel what is that exactly for and could it be one of the reason he is still hyper and disrespectful. But I am going to check in with the dr. with the info you have helped me with, and I sure hope we can get my son on the right track, I don't want to feed him medication that is not good for him and if its not going to help but make it worse. You have given me a starting point thank you and I will let you know what the dr. says. Can I take him off the paxil or does he have to be winged off.

Remember, I am not a doctor, nor a psychiatrist or a psychologist, I am only an RN going by my medical texts. I cannot legally diagnose nor prescribe over the internet, I am only trying to give you a starting point to discuss with your doctor(s).

Yes and you have helped. Thank you very much!! :)

Purple31, if it sounded like I was saying you are a bad parent, then please accept my apologies, that's not what I intended. I'm simply saying to remember that this is not your child's fault, punishing an ADHD child for things he really can't control isn't the answer.

My son has ADHD, and yes, it's very hard to live with. He's 10 years old and was just diagnosed with this disorder a few weeks ago. It didn't come as a surprise, but it still hurts to hear what you've suspected all along.

Positive reinforcement is the best way to go, but I know it's hard to let the bad things slip by without punishment.

When my son behaves in a way that isn't acceptable I usually make him write lines. Like yesterday, he hit his sister, he gets told every day that this is not allowed, and still he does it. I made him sit in the kitchen and write "I will not hit my sister", 25 times on a sheet of paper. This gave him time to think about what he's done and it reiterates what he's been told. Will he hit again? Of course he will, but this recent lesson is still in his mind and he won't soon commit the act again.

Time out doesn't seem to work, ADHD kids cannot sit still for long periods, putting him in a time out is impossible. I have taken away favorite toys, but it seems that the punishment is worse for me than him.

My son isn't on medication yet, I'm still waiting for the psychologists report before I go to the doctor to discuss meds. I am changing his diet, and it is helping a bit, but it's still too early to see if this will be enough.

J9 is a great nurse and she's been a huge help to me.:)

Remember, you aren't alone in this. :)

Thank you for your input I just did not want people thinking that I was just always punishing my son for every little thing he does, I just want my son to have the help he needs so he can live a normal life, and once again I know this is not his fault, but it is really hard to tell when you should punish or not, but I do praise him when he does good.

It is hard, because so much of what these children do is based on the disorder. I'm having the same problem. I can't let him get away with misbehaving, but I don't want to punish him too severely because I don't know how much of his behaviour is because of the ADHD.

I try very hard to punish with a gentle hand, a loving tone, and understanding that he sometimes really can't help himself. I praise as much as possible, and boy do I go overboard for even the smallest things. He thrives on the praise, and therefore the punishment is even more effective. He wants me to be pleased with him, not upset with him.

I hope it will get easier, for my son and yours. It's tough being the parent of an ADHD child. We, as parents, are supposed to have all the answers, and that simply isn't true. There is no "right" way to raise a child with ADHD, sadly it's a lot of trial and error and hoping to find something that works.

I'm here if you want to talk about it. I know that you have your hands full, you child doesn't only have ADHD, and that disorder is hard enough, but to add the others as well, you could use some moral support.

We're here when you need us. :)

I know what you are going threw I have three ADHD children and one of them with also SED Sever Emotional Disorder It took almost two years for the dr's to get him on the right meds. My daughters they were find with what they got the first time thank goodness But it took two years for them to get my son on something that works... right now he is on Concerta and Seroquel 150mg of Seroquel with 38mg of Concerta 30 minutes before school and cause he is so Hyper and Emotional he takes 50 mg of Seroquel & 18 mg of concerta at 10:30 am at school and home... and cause he can't sleep at night they put him on 200 mg of Seroquel at night about 7pm... he used to go and go and go... and would stay up tell 2 am and then go to bed and wake up at 4 am... we tried Adderal and all that stuff and it just made him worse Stratara was the worse med I have ever had to put my kids on... the stuff makes them WORSE!. I'm not a beliver in that stuff yet it does help other kids just not mine... Just keep up the work in the long run it will work... just have faith... I know where you are coming from...


God Bless... In Kansas

Also Amphetamine Salt what most dr's don't tell you can kill your child I had to admitt my son into a mental health hospital once and they told me that Amphetamine Salt in young children can kill your child if taken for a long period

I'm so sorry to hear about your difficulties. There is NOTHING more frustrating than not knowing how to relate or help your own child. I had my son evaluated at age 3 because of extreme aggression (very unlike anyone in our family), and other things. He was diagnosed with a speak delay. His brain function tested at a 6-year old level while his speak was at the appropriate 3 year old level. So, it basically boiled down to frustration on his part (and many tears from me along the way).

Okay, so on to your son. I would really consider having them do some chromosome testing on your son. It's a simple bloodtest and he may have what is called "supermale" syndrome which is an extra Y chromosome. I believe it's also referred to as Jacobs syndrome. It's not all that uncommon but would be nice to rule out so that you know what things you don't need to worry about.

I too was told to modify my son's diet. I worked my booty off trying to find cereals and other nutritious foods that contained (or should I say lacked) many different ingredients. The biggest difference I came across was milk. I went back to normal on everything else and have him on soymilk, not cow's milk. It seems to be the only thing that even showed the slightest difference with his behavior.

Also, I'm no Dr, but I'm not a huge proponent of medication in general. My biggest advice in that department is to make sure that he's been on just one medication at a time for a few weeks. You need the opportunity to see if it makes any difference. Then if not, dump that one and try another. I would definitely avoid the med cocktail he's on. One for his mood and one for his concentration should be more than enough if it can be controlled by meds.

Hope this was helpful - I feel for you...

I also have a 5 year old who is most challenging. He is not diagnosed with any of these conditions nor do I think he has any of these but he is a discipline challenge all the same. Punishment does not work in any situation and I am a firm believer in do the crime do the time and adversion therapy. But I had to rethink all this with him. There are days I just ignore what is not important and do not give him the attention his bad behaviour has gotten hime before. I only reward good behaviour and make myself interact positively with him. When the days turn to more positive behaviour then I warn him what he needs to avoid for the next few days and work up to almost all good behaviour. But something will happen and we have to start all over again. It is against all my intuitions and does not feel "right" to me, but we worked with a behaviour therapist to get me to this point.

I would definitely work with a behaviour therapist (psychologist, family counselor) to help guide you in a plan you can comfortably enforce. The way I looked at it was "I may be correct in theory on what I was doing, but it isnt working" and I turned myself over to someone qualified to help in achieving my goals.

Good luc\k to you!