Delete...

I recently suspected my buddy was having an affair and confronted him about it. He told me this Desperate Housewife was chasing him and that he was not running away.. I asked him if he would ever do it and he honsetly said I do not know... Well a few days later it happened and I know all of the details..

I watched him express a range of emotions at me and the situation and the conntext of the conversations go in different directions. I am just listening and trying not to give advice, but just perspective..

I am having a tough time honsestly with this and know I am his best friend and he trusts me. We see each other constently and I am afraid that this WILL take a longterm toll on our friendship. What should I do not to let that happen...



I think everyone handles these personal situations in a different way -

I support my friends but don't judge them. That doesn't mean I want to hear about what's going on to the point of nausea - but I don't judge and feel it's none of my business to do anything more than listen and, if asked, make suggestions.

To be honest, tell your friend the true on how you feel and leave it at that. Tell him to either take your advice or don't talk about the situation ever again. What you don't know won't hurt you. It's his problem, and he should know right from wrong.

Just like friends don't let friends drive drunk, pointing out to them when they are self sabotaging & indulging in delusional thinking is something a good friend does. You can't make them change their behavior obviously, but you have the opportunity to help him see how he's going down a disastrous road before the damage he does to himself & his original relationship is even worse than it is at this point.

Think of it as an intervention. Now more than ever he needs someone that cares as much as you do about him, to talk him down from the life altering ledge he's crawled out on. Affairs can be very easy to get into but the resulting fallout is rarely anything but ugly & extremely painful to deal with.

Delete...



It's cut and pasted as part of the answer and I don't know if that can be removed -

Thanks all for the comments...