Well me and my ex broke about about 3 months ago and I recently tried contacting her about a month ago saying hi and she told me to F off, but I tried again about eh a week or 2 ago and she finally said hi to me which was a shock, I talked to her on Yahoo messenger and she told me she needs time to think and to get used to talking to me again, and she said, she is still working to forgive and forget.. I don't know if she means it or not or if she is tired of me contacting her so she is just playing along to pretend or something, maybe or maybe not I don't know, maybe I read into things too much I don't know, but its been about ehhh about a week and a half and I have not heard anything from her, its hard with her because she sometimes says one thing but does another, like she said she can't drink anymore but she still does, and says she doesn't date skinny white boys lol, which I am kind of skinny lol, so its kind of flip flop, I don't know what to think.. 19 yr old girls confuse me!! Lol

First, what is she referring to that she's trying to "forgive & forget"?

Second, why would you think "F you" is a signal to contact her again?

Third, why are you still trying to chase someone that's not interested in working out whatever issues existed in your relationship, what good do you think that will do you?

She's young & her behavior shows she has a lot of maturity to gain before she'll be a good partner. So how much hell are you willing to endure for how long before you do get a good relationship with her assuming that ever happens at all?

Can I put a fourth in here to add to what Betrayal was saying? I agree with him as far as she sounds young and needs some growing up (that's not us being mean it's just truth) but that being said... women (females) in the beginning before we get to know you we liked to be pursued but there comes a point in a relationship (which yours has ended so this is even more so) where we also like a bit of space. Don't smother her (not that you are) give yourself some time to grow and learn about your needs and wants and while you're doing that maybe she'll contact you or just maybe you'll be surprised at how your needs and desires change. You're only young once if it's meant to be it will be you can't rush it and if you try to you may ruin the relationship.

Good luck Icee I sincerely wish you happiness and peace in your life. :) azdesertchick

Well the forgive and forget part I said some verbal abuse to her over the phone.. I ex boyfriend abused her so I got mad at her one day and told her I'm glad her ex boyfriend abused her.. a signal? What do you mean and I guess I'm still hooked on her, I guess it more of the guilt, I just want her to see the person that I really am and I try to leave on good terms with everyone. Does she want to work out the issues, I don't know...

Oh, that was a terrible thing to say. If it's an isolated incident, then obviously it was something that isn't normal behavior for you. If it's not, then you need to address those issues before getting into any relationship especially if you want to stay in one.

You have no control over how she sees you, her perceptions are going to be based on how she choices to deal with & see things for her own reasons & based on her past experiences.

She's making it clear she doesn't want to deal with the issues, she wants space. I'm asking why you want to keep trying to force a relationship on someone that's made it clear they want out. What are you getting out of that, because she's not going to make it easy for you to be with her, is she? In fact, she's told you to leave her alone in varied ways.

Leaving on good terms means giving them respect, right? If you don't respect her need & right to that space she is asking for, it's not going to do you any good. She will feel you as just pestering her & want even more distance.

Coming from someone who had to watch my dad abuse my mom and was an abusive father as well, I would say of course she needs time after you claimed you were happy she was abused. She feels betrayed and she should.

What he means (I think) by signal is she said F**K OFF when you tried contacting her the first time that would usually mean she wants to be left alone but yet you tried again anyway. Which goes back to the part where you shouldn't force things just keep on working on yourself hun and let.

Guilt is something you have to work out because if you apologized (I hope you did) then that's all you can do. Guilt is never a reason to push yourself back into her life give her time and maybe she'll forgive you and you guys can be friends. Who knows...

Why would she want someone who has treated her badly, and may do it again?

Get your own act together.

What you said showed how immature you are as well as how you can't control your temper. Leave her alone and deal with your own issues as you have a lot. You can't take back what you have said, you knew her past as much as she did and she made up her mind she wasn't going to be treated like dirt like her ex did, good for her.