A few questions tied into this...

How much does it hurt to have sex? And does bleeding vary in different girls?
Do guys hate wearing condoms?

I can't answer the first two questions, but as a guy, I can answer the third.

First off, if you are going to have sex, make sure you are ready. You have to be mature enough, and ready to face the decision of keeping or aborting a child, if the situation occurs (which it very well could). But, if you really, truly, think you are ready, then who is going to stop you, right? Might as well offer what advice I can.

Condoms definitely make sex less plesurable for the male. HOWEVER, they are 100% necessary unless a child is intended. Do not ever let a guy have sex with you without a condom, or some form of birth and STD control. I can't stress enough how essential a condom is. If you must have sex, use a condom.

Maybe a female member can answer your first two questions.

Good luck, and I hope everything goes well for you.

***EDIT: A false statistic was removed from my post. To the OP, please disregard what I said about the effectivness of condoms are. Thank you, JR

[EDIT: Removed reference to false statistic posted above... laughter still remaining, however.]

BOTH of my kids were conceived while using two kinds of birth control... correctly!

Please don't let anyone cite some statistic and let that convince you that you're protected to ANY degree by using birth control. Please don't fall for that.

Sex was designed by the universe not for your pleasure, but to make babies. That's it. The craving you have for sex... know what that is? It's nature using the hormones it gave you to trick you into thinking whatever is necessary to get you to have sex, because the universe wants babies.

So, you may think it's love, it may feel like love, it may even BE love, but condoms or no condoms, birth control or no birth control, climb into bed and have sex and I PROMISE you the entire universe is conspiring against you at that point and looking for SOME way to make a baby.

Now, if that's cool with you... enjoy!

To answer your first question: the first time may only be a slight pain or it could actually kill you.

To answer the second question: Yes the bleeding varies with different girls.


To answer the third question: Most guys will tell you that it feel a lot better when they don't use a condom, but I actually believe that most guys can not tell the difference if they are worn right and the lubrication is right. In other words guys will lie to you, some will even tell you that they will only put the head in.

Most guys will tell you that it feels a lot better when they don't use a condom... True. They say that because it is in fact a true statement.


... but I actually believe that most guys can not tell the difference if they are worn right and the lubrication is right.Please note that as letmetellu's personal belief, it is not a statement of fact. See the first quote above. This particular quote makes it clear letmetellu has never worn a condom.


In other words guys will lie to you, some will even tell you that they will only put the head in.Guys will lie to you - true. As for the "head in" thing, by the time you two are in that position, it's too late to worry about lies/truths. The "head" is where the sperm comes out, so that's all it takes.

At that moment you are fully engaged in baby-making, condom or no condom.

Okay, I'm going to try and offer advice on all three questions.

Does sex hurt the first time? It can. Not all women have a hymen, some are born without one, or the hymen was "torn" some other way. For those women it may be uncomfortable, but probably won't really hurt.

Does bleeding vary? Yes, everyone is different. Even if the hymen was intact, that won't necessarily mean you'll bleed the first time. Some women don't, some women do, some heavily, some lightly.

Do guys hate wearing condoms? Of course they do. The sensation of having sex without a condom is much better, or so the guys have told me. ;)

Now, for the serious stuff. If you are a teen then why are you in such a hurry?

The above questions are not the things you should be asking or thinking about. If I was a young girl, and thinking of having sex for the first time, my questions would be;

1. What form of birth control is the best?

Answer; use the pill and a condom, but remember, no birth control is 100% effective, these two just lower the risks of becoming pregnant, they don't eliminate them.

2. Do condoms prevent STD's?

Answer; again, no form of birth control is 100%, so, it stands to reason that the condom isn't 100% effective in preventing an STD, it is more effective than not wearing on at all though.

3. If I get pregnant, can I afford to support a child, finish school, get my own place, give up my teen years, be a single parent (the guy usually doesn't stick around).

Answer; only you can decide.

My advice, do some research, it's a scary world, and just because you don't think it can happen to you, doesn't mean it won't. It happens to someone everyday, just look at the other forums. I answer at least 4 posts a day from teens that are pregnant or think they are, and those are just the teens that are actually coming here for advice, that's a very small percentage of the population.

Good luck, and be smart. :)

Altenweg,
GREAT post. Those questions you asked, (and answered) are the questions the OP should be asking. Although the questions she asked are important, the STD/Brith control questions, I believe, are more important.

I tried to greenie you, but apparently, I have to "spread more reputation" first. :)



As for the OP, allforthebroken,
I hope you have considered your age in all this, and if sex is really necessary in your relationships now. Have you thought of this? If so, what conclusions have you come to?

One of my friends got pregnant using condoms and the pill. The baby, Michael, is now 1 years old. Can you see yourself here in 9months? A mother? A girl of only 14 I went to school with told me she thought she was pregnant she had unprotected sex for the first time because the guy didn't have any condoms. I bought her a pack and told her to tell any potential partners she won't have sex if he won't wear it. Arm yourself with knowledge and the right products and make sure you are doing it for the right reason.