Yeah, it's me again. I'm still having issues with this breakup, it's been close to two months now, and I barely feel better. I can at least function at work and not cry all the time, but that isn't a big improvement, I still do many times.

I was told at first to date as many women as possible, I did this, but I didn't feel any better. They were a bit below my standards, that may have been part of the reason. I'm not really sure, maybe its because I'm not over her. Anyway, I stopped dating and going out with other girls. The other night I went with another one, and it ended up with her crying because I couldn't go through with things, because I said I loved her.

My ex hasn't contacted me in at least a month, and only for mandatory purposes and questions, not to see how I am or anything. I was the one who ruined it and made her feel like garbage, so I can see why. Even my fake accident barely sparked a reaction from her. I am a logical person in most cases, but when it comes to the human brain I am open to anything.

I believe that it is possible to change a persons mind on something, especially in this situation. I believe that it is completely possible, some how, some way. I don't believe this is so black and white that when its over its over. I think that there has to be some way that I can work it out with this girl one day.

I want to ask you all, how do you suggest I start talking to her again? I really don't know what to say or how to act. I want to slowly ween myself back into her life again, hopefully re-attract her and maybe with a little luck work things out with her. Any ideas on how I can start proactively attempting to get her back?

I know the probability of this working is slim, and I know what I'm getting into. I couldn't care less about anything anymore really, I have nothing to lose. No matter how many people nay say me, I will continue on, even if it leads me no where. I made a promise to her a long time ago she asked that I wouldn't give up on us, I won't. I cant.

Yeah, it's me again. I'm still having issues with this breakup, it's been close to two months now, and I barely feel better. I can atleast function at work and not cry all the time, but that isnt a big improvement, I still do many times.

I was told at first to date as many women as possible, I did this, but I didn't feel any better. They were a bit below my standards, that may have been part of the reason. I'm not really sure, maybe its because im not over her. Anyway, I stopped dating and going out with other girls. The other night I went with another one, and it ended up with her crying because I couldn't go through with things, because I said I loved her.

My ex hasn't contacted me in atleast a month, and only for mandatory purposes and questions, not to see how I am or anything. I was the one who ruined it and made her feel like garbage, so I can see why. Even my fake accident barely sparked a reaction from her. I am a logical person in most cases, but when it comes to the human brain I am open to anything.

I believe that it is possible to change a persons mind on something, especially in this situation. I believe that it is completely possible, some how, some way. I don't believe this is so black and white that when its over its over. I think that there has to be some way that I can work it out with this girl one day.

I want to ask you all, how do you suggest I start talking to her again? I really dont know what to say or how to act. I want to slowly ween myself back into her life again, hopefully re-attract her and maybe with a little luck work things out with her. Any ideas on how I can start proactively attempting to get her back?

I know the probability of this working is slim, and I know what im getting into. I could care less about anything anymore really, I have nothing to lose. No matter how many people nay say me, I will continue on, even if it leads me no where. I made a promise to her a long time ago she asked that I wouldn't give up on us, I wont. I cant.
Stop sweating it give her the space that she needs. In order for her to feel like you're the man she need and love she needs time to think and you need to think too on how to not mess it up again and eventually you and her will be happy again don't ever give up though cause then you might lose her forever just give her time

I'm afraid to say this, but you are delusional, my friend. The reason you haven't felt better after 2 month is because you have yet to let go of false hope. There is NOTHING you can do to change her mind. You even stooped as low as to create a fake accident. How cruel is that? I suggest you seek some therapy for your situation.

There has to be SOMETHING, saying the right things, doing the right things at the right time.. even maybe little mind teasers that get her thinking of me again. You must agree that there could be some way, some how?

Are you being serious with yourself? You REALLY want to manipulate someone into liking you? You would rather live the rest of your days knowing the person doesn't TRULY feel for you and is only with you because you tricked them into it? What kind of a life is that? You need to sit long and hard about realty.

Yes, I'm afraid I would. This was the only gorgeous girl who has ever shown interest in me, I can't let this happen.

Dude... you shouldn't categorise this girl in her own league because she's attractive..
Sure, it's harder to attract a girl that's very attractive when you're out there and "back in the game".. but you shouldn't let ANY attractive girl intimidate you so much because she got lucky in the gene pool...
It's shallow to seek attractiveness, but if that's what you want then go out there and "play the field".. You mentioned them being "below a certain level' - sure if your basis of comparison is your ex girlfriends hotness...YES it DOUBLE SUCKS when you get dumped AND she's super hot...well boo-hoo..
Theres so many girls out there..and women have SENSORS..if you're going out there and putting pressure on yourself that you have to find a woman that equals your ex, then ANY woman you talk to is going to sense this weakness in you..You're sounding desperate, and the only reason you want to go back to it and youre craving attention from her(in a ridiculous fashion may I had - fake accident?) is because you haven't replaced her with an equally hot girl..
I'm never the hottest guy in the room, but I have enough confidence in myself and what makes me WHO I AM - to go up to the hottest girl in the room, and chat her up - get her number - and I usually end it there because MOST of the "hottest girls in the room" are shallow bricks who can't hold a conversation over 10 minutes.
So get out of your misery loop of whining, and start living...

I suggest you seriously seek speaking to a professional if you were to go to the lengths of faking a accident to get her attention. I think you would benefit from it. To be honest looks are not what is going to make a relationship work.

I want to ask you all, how do you suggest I start talking to her again?We don't, but you don't care, right?


I don't believe this is so black and white that when its over its over. I think that there has to be some way that I can work it out with this girl one day.Well, then there's no hope for this situation. Nobody here who's read your other stuff will legitimately tell you to keep after it. So...


I know the probability of this working is slim, and I know what I'm getting into. I couldn't care less about anything anymore really, I have nothing to lose. No matter how many people nay say me, I will continue on, even if it leads me no where.OK, so even you actually believe this is a waste of time. OK, then. I hope you don't waste too much time on this, but it IS your time to waste. Good luck.

Ok, this is going to sound real uncaring, but I have read your other posts with your opinions of women and relationship.
To be honest unless you buy a bride from China I doubt you are ready for a real relationship with any modern women, I guess there may and is someone for everyone but I am sorry your real choices are few for what you expect and seem to want.

You tried to lie and trick her into coming back, so don't ever expect her back, and there lies the real issue, you are still wanting and expecting and planning and ploting to get her back, No contact is suppose to be the time you get over them, and stop wanting them back so you can move on.
Not a time to jump in bed and sleep with as many as you can either though. It is a time to know that you can move on without her.

So while from your posts you need counseling on so many levels, you may need help getting over this if after this time you are still dwelling on it, to that point you are.

I'm sorry that I keep posting this drivel, I'm sure nobody wants to hear it anymore. I don't really know what a psychologist can do for me. I came home today and burst into tears, and have been since about 2:30 until now, which is about 5:00.

I want to make things right so bad with her. I don't even have the desire to want to move on or live without her. I don't even care if I'm alive to be honest. The only thing that has prevented me from committing suicide, which has popped into my head times before, is my fear that there may be no afterlife. This is the closest anything has ever pushed me, and I'm scared.

I'm sorry that I keep posting this drivel, im sure nobody wants to hear it anymore. I don't really know what a psychologist can do for me. I came home today and burst into tears, and have been since about 2:30 until now, which is about 5:00.

I want to make things right so bad with her. I don't even have the desire to want to move on or live without her. I don't even care if im alive to be honest. The only thing that has prevented me from committing suicide, which has popped into my head times before, is my fear that there may be no afterlife. This is the closest anything has ever pushed me, and im scared.
You need to go talk to someone. Seriously. Those thoughts are not right, you need to go talk to someone.

I don't know if I can afford these services, and I don't want to put it on my parents..

Isn't you mental well being worth it? Seriously you need to some help don't take it as a weakness. People need help sometimes we all do.

If she doesn't want you , she won't. No matter how much you try and you are going to push her away even more. If you are serious about getting back together, let her have her space for awhile. And maybe it could help.

Also love yourself first, she can probably see how insecure you are. Help yourself first and I promise you will feel a lot better about yourself and life and she may too.

Healing cannot begin until you accept that its over. You still have not let go, so do yourself a real favor and let it go. Geez, she broke it off 2 months ago, and your still doing monkey flips.

Maybe a trusted older adult, or a church leader, can give you some guidance, and talking to your father would be your next options.

Wow, I just read some of your previous posts.

Dude... you need help. Professional help. At the very least you need to express all the feelings you have told us with your close friends and family if you have not done so. The only thing that can help you recover is a very strong network of people to comfort you.

Also, to be honest... you are scaring me a bit. And I am a little scared for your ex. I would be fearful for anyone who had an ex obsessed with them, plotting and scheming ways to get them back at any means possible. If you care for her, let her go! It's DONE!

How old are you?

Im 21.

Fake accident? You sound a bit like you have histrionic tendencies. You have to realize who you are before you know how to fix your problems. It doesn't sound like you're actively analyzing what your character is like so you can prevent this sort of thing from happening. The number one thing you got to do is to start focusing on yourself man. You got to build the best you that you can be. Before you start thinking of attracting anyone you got to make sure you are at the top of your game. You're hurt and a bit confused right now, it isn't the best time for you to go after her. You both need time and space. Work on yourself man, get in shape, make sure you are maximizing your life's potential, with work or school. Build a stronger man that is independent. If you go back now, even if you did get back together, chances are the same problems you had that led the eventual break up will still be there. She might not even be the best person for you. Give yourself time for change and progress. It will come.

There has to be SOMETHING, saying the right things, doing the right things at the right time.. even maybe little mind teasers that get her thinking of me again. You must agree that there could be some way, some how?

The ironic part about this post, is a lot of women have a more difficult time getting over their breakup and sometimes wish and dream their ex-bf would get in touch with them and everything will work out perfectly like in the movies and they will live happily ever after. Of course that's natural to want, I want that with my ex. BUT reality is, she needs and wants her space right now, and you should respect that. She also has probably moved on somewhat. I don't know how the breakup went down, but if she's over it she's over it and then there is really nothing you can do to win back a girl. If you try, and she's over you - you will only scare her away more. So of course there is a way, you can do what you want send her flowers saying you'd like to talk you miss her etc. But the reality is, if she's over you, it won't matter. I think before you think of doing anything, you should get your head out of the gutter and think about what she wants? What she told you she wants? Respect her wishes. And in the meantime, start to have some more confidence in yourself! There are tons of women in the world. It takes time to find the next perfect match. Live your life in the meantime.

P.s. I think if anything the flowers with a card saying "i'm sorry, i miss you, i'd like to talk" is simple and to the point. Don't do anything more dramatic then that.

We all eventually let go of this burning hope that they will come back, that there's SOMETHING we/can do or say. You're taking a little longer...

But know the longer you accept you need to let go, the longer you will hurt.

You're only 21. That is still very, very young.

When my first serious high school girlfriend broke up with me I thought I would NEVER find anyone A) as beautiful and B) as awesome as her. Well, I've had several that have been just that and sadly a few weeks ago I lost the best one so for after almost a decade together.

You need to get yourself together and keep those crazy thoughts to yourself. The stunt you pulled crossed the line of batsh!t crazy and you need to get yourself in check now. We've all done stunts to get our ex's back... and now you've done yours. Moving forward you need to keep those schemes in your head and not act on them. Because as time passes you will go on and look back and feel like a total jack@ss and even embarrassed when you talk about it. Trust me on this one. It makes you look weak in the eyes of others- especially to all the awesome women out there.

Smart and beautiful women will gravitate towards strength in a man. You need confidence to pull this off and clearly you have none at this point- that's normal though... it will be awhile until it's back. But when it is back- you'll be stronger and more experienced than ever... a major bonus in a person.

Like I said, I know what it feels like to lose someone important- I feel like crap and have everyday since my girlfriend and I broke up... but I know I need to get myself back before I can progress with my life in any sort of constructive manner. You need to do the same.

At this time who was right or wrong or who ed up is irrelevant in respect to your past relationship. Take what you've learnt and become a better person. Your future girlfriend will be thankful for it.

Bask in your sh!tty feeling. It won't last forever.

I know that this is going to sound generic.
I know that this is going to sound typical.
I know that this is going to sound like what everyone else is say.

BUT, what I am saying is right (at least I believe so).

MOVE ON! You're 21, and have a whole life ahead of you. You have to accept the fact that she is gone, and move on. Have you tried NC? That means NO talking to her. NO looking at her Facebook. And TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT HER! Distract yourself until you forget about her.

Bottom line is you're right. You can't live like this forever. But suicide isn't the way out. When you can just change. You have this girl set up as if she is the greatest person in the world. As much as you believe that, it just isn't true. She is just another girl. Suicide at 21? You are REEEEALLLLY YOUNG! And you have a long time to go. My parents didn't meet until their late 20's! Give it more time, and try distracting yourself, and try not thinking about her. And maybe even keep dating other girls. But god please don't kill yourself. If you feel you really need to, see a counselor.

Lets at least agree to take suicide out of the picture... Please.

I have been doing NC, for a month at least. I may be pretty emotional and irrational right now, but one thing I do know and understand, is attraction. I know if I were to be calling her and begging her everyday that it would push her further. That is why I have been scheming and trying to think of any possible way to get back into her head to make her consider the possibility to get back with me.

Deep down I know a snow ball has a better chance in hell than me getting her back, but for some reason I'm compelled to keep trying. I can't really explain it guys, I only feel accomplished and good at the end of the day if I am trying to work towards winning her back. This hope is the only thing that I feel is keeping me going.

The last thing you said in the question, was what you need to call her about or text her tell her your sorry and maybe shell accept when you ask her to go out to lunch to talk and to see what's up... idk if it will work bbut I'm here to help let me know what happens and eathier answer back or e-mail me at [email protected] you'll be supprised what this girl can do with a bit of information I'm a miracle worker with 50 people a day OK joking 50 people a week a barley got time to even breathe in my schedule unless someone needs it and that sounds like you need it

But no suicide! Or else ill find you and get 60 dates and trust me you won't like that with your mind filled with her if it doesn't work tell me and all of us will try to help :)
______________________________________
LIL SHORTY

I can't really explain it guys, I only feel accomplished and good at the end of the day if I am trying to work towards winning her back. This hope is the only thing that I feel is keeping me going.

I think everyone here has felt the same way, at some level.

I had to come to reality by convincing myself that I had to move on. NOBODY could teach me that. I had to realize it myself.

Maybe it is the same with you.
IT TAKES TIME. GIVE IT TIME.

I don't know what else to say.



BUT,
About the suicide thing.
You have to know it isn't the only way out. Things will get better, believe me. You have family, and friends who love you. Killing yourself will hurt everyone around you. And it isn't very great for you either. It is taking your life away. Decades you will never get to live. Who knows, maybe your soulmate is out there (one other than this girl) and you killing yourself will just make that possibly great relationship non-existant.

Try this, a NC forum (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-member-discussions/nc-calendar-iii-255006.html).

And stop considering suicide as an option.

The last thing you said in the question, was wat u need to call her about or text her tell her ur sorry and maybe shell accept when u ask her to go out to lunch to talk and to see whats up....idk if it will work bbut im here to help let me know what happens and eathier answer back or e-mail me at [email protected] youll be supprised what this girl can do with a bit of information im a miracle worker with 50 ppl a day ok joking 50 ppl a week a barley got time to even breathe in my schedule unless someone needs it and that sounds like u need it

but no suicide! or else ill find u and get 60 dates and trust me u wont like that with ur mind filled with her if it dosnt work tell me and all of us will try to help :)
______________________________________
LIL SHORTY
You're a "miracle worker?"
Pardon me for questioning your crudentials, but can you give any evidence of the 50 people you help weekly? The last thing the OP needs is more false hope, which I think you may be providing him with.

No offence is meant by this post, I am just concerned,
Thanks

It doesn't really look like you pay attention to what anyone says.

It doesn't really look like you pay attention to what anyone says.

True,
But being in love is a funny thing.
I believe "Love Drunk" is the term.

When I broke with my ex, nobody could tell me anything. My ex was the greatest person in the world, and nobody else could do for me what she did. Obviously, I see the light now, but I had to come to my own conclusions. I think this is what the OP needs to do as well.

I have been doing NC, for a month atleast. I may be pretty emotional and irrational right now, but one thing I do know and understand, is attraction. I know if I were to be calling her and begging her everyday that it would push her further. That is why I have been scheming and trying to think of any possible way to get back into her head to make her consider the possibility to get back with me.

Deep down I know a snow ball has a better chance in hell than me getting her back, but for some reason im compelled to keep trying. I can't really explain it guys, I only feel accomplished and good at the end of the day if I am trying to work towards winning her back. This hope is the only thing that I feel is keeping me going.


You aren't going to win her back if you keep trying. If it didn't work the first time it's never going to work. The only way it may possibly work is if you give her space and don't contact her for months! Maybe if it's meant to be you two will re-unite, but not by planning on it, by the universe bringing you back together. But you can't hang onto that feeling. You got to move on. You sound very inmature for 21. Go to bars - meet women, have fun, hang with your friends! Turn to your parents and family for support. It sounds like you need a better support system for starters. When you go through a break up, keeping busy and occupied is the best thing you can do. Why waste your days plotting away at another ridiculous plan? Instead spend your days, thinking of what you need to work on to get yourself another great girl.

Your a "miracle worker?"
Pardon me for questioning your crudentials, but can you give any evidence of the 50 people you help weekly? The last thing the OP needs is more false hope, which I think you may be providing him with.

No offence is meant by this post, I am just concerned,
Thanks
... ooookkk what proof do I give you I can't give their problems they trust me to help them and keep their problems to myself and them and I can't give their e-mail because that's private annd they don't have an account here and don't give me this lawyer talk because umm... your messing with one not to get the upper hand but umm your comment was really unrespectful and that was bacck talk (sorry keeeey board mewessed upp not my laaaaaptop on the hiouse commmmputer)

The last thing you said in the question, was wat u need to call her about or text her tell her ur sorry and maybe shell accept when u ask her to go out to lunch to talk and to see whats up....idk if it will work bbut im here to help let me know what happens and eathier answer back or e-mail me at [email protected] youll be supprised what this girl can do with a bit of information im a miracle worker with 50 ppl a day ok joking 50 ppl a week a barley got time to even breathe in my schedule unless someone needs it and that sounds like u need it

but no suicide! or else ill find u and get 60 dates and trust me u wont like that with ur mind filled with her if it dosnt work tell me and all of us will try to help :)
______________________________________
LIL SHORTY
If he really is a miracle worker, then I will have to at least see what he has to say. Maybe he knows a golden piece of advice, maybe he can help me change things..

If he really is a miracle worker, then I will have to atleast see what he has to say. Maybe he knows a golden piece of advice, maybe he can help me change things..
Dude... If you want more pain and suffer then by all means go after this route. But you won't listen because you are waiting and hoping for some ray of hope for the relationship. Man you are in a very tough spot you need to see some professional health, this kind of obsession to the point of attempting suicide is not healthy. Man please I ask you not to give yourself false hope like this. If she wants to come back she will you will do nothing but push her away more. You are digging a deeper hole if you keep doing that. There is no magical way into someone's head to change their feelings.

But no matter what anyone tells you, you won't listen. I wish the best for you and hope you can come to a rationalization soon. You are stopping your life, you may have had someone better walk into your path but you were back in the past unable to meet them.

I've been considering seeing a psychologist, I have taken some of the advice here to heart if it makes you feel any better.

I've been considering seeing a psychologist, I have taken some of the advice here to heart if it makes you feel any better.
Please if you take any advice see one. Don't feel worthless or weak for doing so. I'm not saying that guy is a liar or anything not here to argue that. But know nothing in the world can change how some feels except themselves. Please do not give yourself any more false hope as I'm afraid that your heart really can't take any more of that. Please just seek some help and in time, (lifes cruel joke is that time is the only thing that mends a broken heart). Man I feel your pain I truly do. Take the advice given here as many people have been in your situation, know your not alone as at some point we have all been there and the advice given is to help you stop hurting and heal.

I've been considering seeing a psychologist, I have taken some of the advice here to heart if it makes you feel any better.

Good to hear.

I haven't talked to her in over a month and that was when we pretty much broke up. I'm going to try to talk to her one more time and see if I can get anywhere.. Wish me luck.

I haven't talked to her in over a month and that was when we pretty much broke up. I'm going to try to talk to her one more time and see if I can get anywhere.. Wish me luck.
I Wish the best but fear the worst.

I haven't talked to her in over a month and that was when we pretty much broke up. I'm going to try to talk to her one more time and see if I can get anywhere.. Wish me luck.

Talk to who? Your ex? If so, that is a bad idea.