How much does it hurt to have sex the first time?

For a girl, sex may hurt. It all depends on certain factors like how tight you are and how wide your partners penis is
But I really hope that the "12" in your name is your age, because 12 is too young for sex

The first sexual experience does not hurt as bad as it does giving birth. Remember that. Sex = pregnancy

Since you are posting in the "teens" section I will assume that you're a teenager.

Sex is something that should only be done when the person is emotionally, physically, and financially ready to raise a child.

It isn't like what you read about or see in movies. It's usually akward and in some cases it hurts.

OP is 14.

OP is 14.
Still too young to have sex.

Still too young to have sex.
Way too young.

No not at all but it is scary!

14...

How much does it hurt to have sex the first time?
I think you should control yourself and wait.

14................................................ ........

That's how old my car is, and she's too young for sex... so YOU, my dear. Far too young.

My car's only 4 years old... so... still a baby, just barely learning how to walk.

My car's only 4 years old...so...still a baby, just barely learning how to walk.Wrong, oh so wrong.

If it helps? NO! Definitely wear and condom and use birth control. If you can't do that, don't have sex.

My car's only 4 years old...so...still a baby, just barely learning how to walk.
If your car is walking, you're not using it right.

Last week I delivered a baby to a 14 year old mother. She had all sorts of complications due to her age. Last night she was back in our L&D department due to post-partum complications, again due to her age.

She did not think she could get pregnant the first time she had sex, yet she did. She also thought that 14 year olds cannot get pregnant. They DO!!

Please rethink your decision to have sex until you are older and can deal with the consequences of pregnancy, labor & delivery, as well as motherhood.

Then why are you asking?

I was curious. None of my friends are virgins, and they've all told me different things.

That's because everyone's experience is different.

Please understand and give your answers to a minor child. 14 is not legal age to even be having sex to start with.

Several answers advocating sex for a 14 year have been deleted

You are too young but it d hurt kind of

As stated DrLang, and I would like to know what form of medicine you DO practice, the major problem we as supermoderators and administrators of the site had with your post was that you were preaching proper arousal and lubrication to this youngster.

Now, I know for a fact that teaching abstinence is like hitting your head against a brick wall, but it should still be taught. To these youngsters posting, they need to learn the health risks of teen pregnancy on their bodies as well as the bodies of the children they may carry. Are you familiar with those health risks? I am, as a labor and delivery nurse I see it every night that I work.

So rather than teaching strictly abstinence, or lubrication and arousal, how about the real teaching. Teaching the risks that these girls are taking with their lives and with their health.

It's important that you are aroused and producing lubrication. It's also important to relax.

Please read my answer above. Teaching abstinence is only ONE way to be teaching these children. We also need to be TEACHING the health risks involved with children of any age having sexual relations.

The quote above is what began the original problem here, not abstinence, not birth control.

Please read my answer above. Teaching abstinence is only ONE way to be teaching these children. We also need to be TEACHING the health risks involved with children of any age having sexual relations.
I agree. But just as we teach youth to not consume alcohol and we teach them the health risks of consuming alcohol, we also teach them that if they do consume alcohol, for the love of god don't drive. This is not endorsing underage drinking, this is giving them the information they need to stay as safe as they can if they decide to go against our advice.

I agree. But just as we teach youth to not consume alcohol and we teach them the health risks of consuming alcohol, we also teach them that if they do consume alcohol, for the love of god don't drive. This is not endorsing underage drinking, this is giving them the information they need to stay as safe as they can if they decide to go against our advice.

Great analogy,
And I completely agree with it. I tried to greenie you, Dr.L, but it wouldn't let me. GREAT analogy!

But yeah,
Kids are going to have sex. I don't like it. Parents don't like it. Most adults don't like it. BUT GUESS WHAT! IT HAPPENS! We have to teach them the "ifs." Some of the posts advising on sex is not necessarily endorsing or encouraging it, but just teaching.

That drinking and driving analogy explains this point of view perfectly.

Too young don't try it.it's for married people so you really don't need to know just yet

too young dont try it.it's for married people so you realy dont need to know just yet

Too young, yes, I agree.

It's for married people? I won't try to change your mind on that, because it is religious views, and I respect that. But I have not met anyone who has married a virgin. It is hardly an activity the is exclusive to married couples.

And, "You don't need to know just yet." I disagree with you here. But, there are many issues with what age to begin teaching sex-ed. Personally, I think if she is thinking about it, and asking questions, it is time for her to know.

too young dont try it.it's for married people so you realy dont need to know just yet

Also, should we not teach children this age about birth control and condoms because they are too young to be having sex? No, we need to teach them how to protect themselves to prevent teenaged pregnancy.

its does hurt but like I know everyone says it but its true, don't let him pressure you into it, it happened to me and I massivly regret it so please don't be pressured in to it, just make sure your 100% ready x]
and remember the only safe sex is no sex

I know a girl that had sex when she JUST turned 14 and now everyone thinks she's a slut because it got out and everyone found out... like her peers told people and they told people, etc...

She is NOT a slut... she was in love w/ that boy and still is.

Unfortunately in high school or even middle school, you are not who you think you are... you are what OTHER PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE.. that's why it's so important to put your reputation above all else... no matter how you feel about a boy.

14 is too young for sex anyhow, I mean EMOTIONALLY. Anyone can do it, it's not a complicated task... it's just for girls it's emotional and for boys it's physical.

Girls want boys to love them, so sometimes they do things that they are not really ready for just to keep a boy. Oral sex is on the list of things a girl might do to keep a boy.

Boys want sex, not love. If they find love then it's a bonus, but they can't stay in love for long... (I'm talking statistically here. More boys rather than less, are INCAPABLE of falling in love between the ages of 13-18).

Boys are physical, girls are emotional. Girls get all deep about the boy they like. Boys get all "Oooohhhh, she's so hhotttt!" about the girl they like.

It's not any deeper for teenager boys...

Girls just need to protect their hearts... and if that means keeping "chast", (remaining a virgin.. ), then SO BE IT.

Who's going to protect you from getting hurt? YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU, of course.

Sex hurts physically sometimes... but your heart will BREAK if the boy just wanted to get his rocks off!

BE SELFISH..

14 is too young. I first had sex a little over a month ago with my only partner of over a year now. A lot of things factor into how much it hurts. For me, the first time was terrible. It hurt so bad. I actually started crying and I've never cried from pain. But even though it hurt, I insisted that we kept going. He felt a little guilty though, which of course made me feel bad. You shouldn't have sex, you should wait.

Hey jaime90, you want to share how old you are? And your post is very honest and brave to share...

Lollol ask your parents or your friends, o_o I think the internet is the best place to ask questions because no one knows you but, you have to get your facts strait and go to the source, you parents, it can be a littl akward but you will know, and if your trying to avoid telling your parents I don't know what to do.

It hurts a lot. Well, it depends on the girl I guess, but I think most girls would agree with me that it hurts. For me, the first time was very painful. I spent most of my time crying lol. However, if you are 14 and you plan on having sex I suggest you wait. I made the mistake of having sex for the first time at 15 years old and I regret it very much, and all of my girl friends who made the same mistake also regret it. You're still a child and when you're older and you realize that, you'll wish that you waited.

Bonita, good for you for telling of your experience.

It's tough making the right decision when you are so young and having feelings for a boy... there's so much pressure to do it.

Also, you feel so mature at which ever age your at because you've never been older... it's an illusion tho' because if you wait and then look back at your age... you quickly realize that when you were 15 you REALLY WERE so young and immature.. and then you're like SUPER HAPPY that you didn't have sex!

I'm 18 years old.

Having sex for the first time was the most painful experience I have ever engaged in. Personally, I don't regret the experience. I love the person very much. I still have trouble having sex today, I'm also a very small framed girl. So, to ease my experience my boyfriend and I do more foreplay then anything else because your body then naturally relaxes. Using extra lubricant can cause it so there's less friction, which is nice. Luckily, your body and brain tend to block out the memory of pain. I know it hurt me, but I don't know what to compare it to.

I meant to say isn't your age, not is your age

It hurts a lot, really, really badly, at least at 14. At 21 it doesn't hurt as much. ;)

It varies.. my first time didn't hurt AT ALL. Not any of the times I had sex with my ex boyfriend.. but now.. with my he current boyfriend, the first time we had to go really slow because it hurt.. it all depends on the guy.. if he goes slow and the area is wet it should stop hurting

I don't why people are saying that to have sex means to have a baby... Not if you use appropriate contraception. If you feel your ready to have sex make sure you are. There is only ever one first time. Make sure its with someone special. It may hurt... Personally it didn't for me...

However, I also agree that it depends on the guy cause the first time for me didn't hurt but then did it with another guy and it did... So I guess its hard to say.

Xx

OK look people... mrs christian woman you read this too please... there is no law that says it is illegal for a 14 year old to have sex... actually in some states 14 is the legal age of consent with someone over the age of 18. So rule that out. Ok look sex the first is probably going to hurt and bleed a little because you are ripping a thin layer of tissue basically when inserting a penis or other object. Yes you can rip this without having sex... i.e being a cross country runner... sex at 14... you are young.. you are curious... I do not see the big deal unless you are an extreme christian like most that have been giving advice on this forum. IF you want to explore your body I would suggest doing ti with someone you trust greatly. Birth control and condom are a MUST.

there is no law that says it is illegal for a 14 year old to have sex

I beg to differ. I live in a state where it is illegal for anyone UNDER the age of 18 to have sex.

The age of consent laws vary from state to state and country to country.

I beg to differ. I live in a state where it is illegal for anyone UNDER the age of 18 to have sex.

The age of consent laws vary from state to state and country to country.

OK so a 14 year old has sex with a 14 year old... its not illegal... a state cannot say you can't have sex... thats totally ridiculous... you might want to go down to your state courthouse and check out the law... actually I'm curious.. what state are you from Ill look it up...

Not it is not illegal for two 14 year olds to have sex. But it IS illegal for a 14 year old and an 18 year old to have sex.

All you have to do is look here... A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states (http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm)

You don't need my state. I already know the laws of my state. I personally know of a 20 year old who was prosecuted because he had sex with a 17 year old.

Dude I'm not stupid... you said, "It is illegal for anyone UNDER the age of 18 to have sex." Now you just said that its not illegal... dont post if you can't make up your mind.. and to leave me bad reputation on this forum because you can't read is not my problem

dude I'm not stupid...you said, "It is illegal for anyone UNDER the age of 18 to have sex." Now you just said that its not illegal...dont post if you can't make up your mind..and to leave me bad reputation on this forum because you can't read is not my problem

First of all, I'm not a dude and I have children older than you.

You misunderstood what I was saying. It is illegal for someone over the age of 18 (in my state) to have sex with someone UNDER the age of 18. If two 14 year olds have sex, chances are the boy won't go to jail. But if an 18 year old boy has sex with a 14 year old girl, the boy WILL go to jail.

Also, I can read, I didn't get the job here as a SuperModerator for no reason.

Aaj, I don't think it's okay to blatantly disrespect someone clearly with volumes of knowledge superior of your own.

First of all, I'm not a dude and I have children older than you.

You misunderstood what I was saying. It is illegal for someone over the age of 18 (in my state) to have sex with someone UNDER the age of 18. If two 14 year olds have sex, chances are the boy won't go to jail. But if an 18 year old boy has sex with a 14 year old girl, the boy WILL go to jail.

Also, I can read, I didn't get the job here as a SuperModerator for no reason.

I've been reading this, and curiosity got the best of me, at least where I live, we need parental consent to have sex. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 15, and both our parents are aware that we're sexually active, and are fine as long as we promise to be safe... I think each area has it's own law...

I've been reading this, and curiosity got the best of me, at least where I live, we need parental consent to have sex. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 15, and both our parents are aware that we're sexually active, and are fine as long as we promise to be safe... I think each area has it's own law...

Goes to show how the age of consent is different all over the world. ;)

Goes to show how the age of consent is different all over the world. ;)

Yes, yes indeed. I read that chart thing you posted not too long ago, I just wish they would add that little "with parental consent" thing... 'cause that is truly a huge thing, without his parents permission I could do a little time. :(

If you are 12 and "all" your friends claim they are having sex then there are obviously many issues of interest that need to be addressed. There is nothing unusual or wrong about someone your age wanting to know things about sex and relationships. However, if a 12-16 yr old is seriously contemplating having sex, then all kinds of danger bells should be chiming loud and clear! Please realize that it's very difficult for anyone, regardless of if they are 12 or 112, to step outside of themselves and be able to honestly evaluate who they are. Can you learn what emotional, psychological, social, and physical 'things' make you... YOU? Even though I try, I’d be deluding myself to say I’ve succeeded.
What is going on, or not happening, in your life, at home, at school etc. that makes you contemplate having sex at this time in your life? What "needs" in your life are not being met? Does the grass look greener in your friends’ lives, or is that illusion? You will not regret waiting, but I am fairly certain that you will regret NOT having waited. Your first time only happens once and when it does it may not be perfect, but it should be special! Special as in ‘as meaningful to him as it is to you’, with total respect, equality, sharing, caring (love?), and knowledge of all possible ramifications taken into consideration.
Life is full of mystery and no one knows what lies around the next bend in the road. Nobody, not even you, knows today the women you will become. Time is on your side!! Use it to learn who you are and what it is that makes you special.

This thread is well over a year old... and CLOSED