I am engaged to a wonderful man. I love him and he loves me. However, this morning I was looking at his messages and I found 2 that were quite disturbing. They read:
*Jim*- "Have you really taken it up the ?"
*Sarah*- "yeah and it hurt hella bad"
*Jim*- "I really want to try it"
*Sarah*- Well not with me"

* The names have been changed.

The girl is some girl from his high school. A couple of months ago I found some old messages between her and him and basically he asked her to mess around with him and she rejected him. The messages above are from August 22, this year. They had not talked since 2006. I don't know what to think about this or what to do. I already called him and talked to him about it. He said that she had posted a survey on the bulletin board and that it said that she had tried anal sex and that he was just curious.


Please help me. I am so devastated. What do you think?

First and furthmost, why were you looking at his private messages? Do you not trust him?

Was your fiancée and this girl exchanging messages while you two were dating/engaged?

I have to admit that I have no good reason for snooping. I was just bored. He checks mine also. But I have never had anything to hide. And yes we were dating. On Sept 1st it was our 1 year anniversary. He also proposed that night.

Trust. Do you honestly trust him? If he explained himself unless evidence shows otherwise trust him. People can keep in contact with former friends, I'll admit something I would not talk about :O but people are different.

Again Trust, unless you have other reasons not to believe take it for what he said.

On the other hand, again something I would not due, might be hinting towards something.

Obviously you must have a reason to snoop because if you did trust him and he trusted you, don't you think both of your myspace accounts would be untouched by one another?

I don't believe he has any reason to be contacting her via text or myspace about anything sexual; that's what you are for, correct?

THey weren't friends though. He wanted to be friends with benefits she said no. DO you think it's really OK for my fiancée to talk to some girl about those things?

THey weren't friends though. He wanted to be friends with benefits she said no. DO you think it's really ok for my fiancee to talk to some girl about those things?
Not really. But then again it boils down to trust and communication.

I know. But what would you do?

Maybe he does want to try it but he is to insecure or shy to talk to you about it. Maybe u should sugggest to him to try new sexual things? And he might bring it up