Why do I want to be with someone who proves to me over and over they don't want me back? Why is it so hard to let go of someone even when they hurt you so bad you wouldn't wish it on someone else? I feel like something is wrong with me...

Nothing is wrong with you. You obviously really care about the person or have become attached to them. I have been in the same situation as you. What have they done to hurt you?

Look, I'd never wish the pain I've felt on anyone no matter what they have done to me. There is nothing wrong with you. You just need to let go, go NC and stick with it. How many times do you want to be burned before you stop putting your hand on the stove? I don't mean to sound harsh.

Look, I'd never wish the pain I've felt on anyone no matter what they have done to me. There is nothing wrong with you. You just need to let go, go NC and stick with it. How many times do you want to be burned before you stop putting your hand on the stove? I don't mean to sound harsh.

That's what I've been thinking... how many times will I let him hurt me or "burn" me again. I think I was attached and wish I could let go. He cheated on me. Today is the 1yr mark of my mother passing away. We were together for over five yrs and I reached out to him and he just doesn't care. If he does and doesn't know what to say he's just a weak loser. Why would I want someone weak like that? I just can't seem to cut the emotional tie. I been breaking NC but after today I think it's the only way and it makes me sad. So I think something is wrong with me if I want to drag this out.

You have to stick to no contact he has proved that he does not want to be with you by cheating on you more then once. You can't let go over night, (something I'm learning) but you can day by day get better. Set a goal of NC start with just a week, after week go for 2 weeks etc. its old but time will mend a broken heart.

You have to stick to no contact he has proved that he does not want to be with you by cheating on you more then once. You can't let go over night, (something I'm learning) but you can day by day get better. Set a goal of NC start with just a week, after week go for 2 weeks etc. its old but time will mend a broken heart.
He only cheated once but it was in the worst way. I know he still contacts the person even if it is just in email it hurts me. I was going to set a 2 week goal on no contact but seem to only get to 3days and break it each time. I'll try 1week and see how it goes. I just feel if we were going to reconcile it should be now. He should be there for me when I need him NOW. If he can't do that for me that should be a sign that he'll never be there for me again.

He only cheated once but it was in the worst way. I know he still contacts the person even if it is just in email it hurts me. I was going to set a 2 week goal on no contact but seem to only get to 3days and break it each time. I'll try 1week and see how it goes. I just feel if we were going to reconcile it should be now. He should be there for me when I need him NOW. If he can't do that for me that should be a sign that he'll never be there for me again.
Well I can't tell you what to do. I can advise you that NC. If he had the balls to cheat on you and then continue to keep talking to the person he cheat on you with then I would think you would not want that kind of person around you. Anytime you feel you want contact him post on here.

Man I'd be here 24/7. Thanks for the feedback it really really does help to post here. :)

The reason u want that person back so bad is because you know u can't have that person back

It's obvious that he's not going to be there for you like you say that you need him to be. It sucks really bad, but it's something that you're going to have to deal with. If he was the MAN you wanted, then why would he cheat on you? Why would he not be there for you in your time of need?

Just stay strong and as wiked says, post on here any time you need to... we've all been where you are and will do everything we can to be here for you in your time of need. In the mean time, go hang out with old friends and do something for yourself... don't worry about him because he didn't worry about you when he cheated on you.

It's obvious that he's not going to be there for you like you say that you need him to be. It sucks really bad, but it's something that you're gonna have to deal with. If he was the MAN you wanted, then why would he cheat on you? Why would he not be there for you in your time of need?

Just stay strong and as wiked says, post on here any time you need to...we've all been where you are and will do everything we can to be here for you in your time of need. In the mean time, go hang out with old friends and do something for yourself...don't worry about him because he didn't worry about you when he cheated on you.
Yes and he's not worried about me right now. I think if he cared he would be there for me when I want him to be not when it's convenient for him. I try so hard to get mad at him but it isn't working. I feel betrayed but it's not the same as getting really mad so I can hate him and really want him out of my life. My brother feels NC is the only way to go. I think it is too but the only problem is if he contacts me or if there is something that will come up I will break it so easily.

Change your cell phone number or you can have his number blocked. I agree with your brother; NC is the only way to go... I understand that you currently have a weakness to him, I think we all do at the beginning of the break up... but you have to stay strong... don't hate him or resent him, that will not help you at all... it will just make you an all around angry person... trust me... like I said, worry about you and no one else... do things that you want to do and forget about this guy... he's obviously not worth the time or effort.

Change your cell phone number or you can have his number blocked. I agree with your brother; NC is the only way to go...I understand that you currently have a weakness to him, I think we all do at the beginning of the break up...but you have to stay strong...don't hate him or resent him, that will not help you at all...it will just make you an all around angry person...trust me...like I said, worry about you and no one else...do things that you want to do and forget about this guy...he's obviously not worth the time or effort.
Ok well today I am going to start my NC. I have to work today and have plans tomorrow and work through the week plus I'm looking for a new job. So it should not be too hard the next few days. I'm sure it will still be on my mind though. I agree he is not worth the time or effort. I don't think I'll have to go so far as to change ph# or anything. I'm pretty sure if I cut him off he'll back off. He doesn't call me or text unless I prompt it, I just have to ignore emails if he send anymore. I stopped responding to everything yesterday. He is pretty cowardly, that is one of the biggest things I've learned from everything. I guess he isn't who I thought he was (or wanted him to be) and even though I hold onto what I thought he was I have to SEE him for who he really is. Not a very good person and that is not the type of MAN I want. He's not a man in my eyes he's a lost little boy. Wish me luck on my NC journey!

I'm sure you will do fine with NC. If you start feeling weak, just come back here and post... everyone here will do the best we can to support you through this.

If we all even listened to OUR OWN advice sometimes... we almost always know our answers, it's almost like we're waiting to hear something we don't know... and say "wow really?" yes it's sooooooooooo hard to face what we don't want to, especially with love. We feel it coming, but don't want it to end, so we drag out the inevitable, don't let pain be your comfort. There are better things to find comfort in :)

Give yourself some time and patients, and stay busy. It will get better. Not in a couple of weeks though, but hang in there.

I feel your pain my friend lol. I get so angry at myself wondering WHY I want to be with someone that
1) doesn't love me or want to be with me
2) has continually hurt me
3)isn't here for me in my darkest hour

It's like as well as being heartbroken, you have the frustration with yourself for being as you see it "weak"? TERRIBLE FEELING. But as Tal said, stay busy- and the main thing is time-literally, it just gets a bit better week by week until you're at a state at normality. :)

I feel your pain my friend lol. I get so angry at myself wondering WHY I want to be with someone that
1) doesn't love me or want to be with me
2) has continually hurt me
3)isn't here for me in my darkest hour

It's like as well as being heartbroken, you have the frustration with yourself for being as you see it "weak"? TERRIBLE FEELING. But as Tal said, stay busy- and the main thing is time-literally, it just gets a bit better week by week until you're at a state at normality. :)

Yes I feel all those 1-3 and I am VERY heartbroken and disappointed in him as a person. I really thought he was better than this but I was terribly wrong:( At this point I'm just torturing myself by dragging it on and being so irrational. Right now he's willing to talk to me in email and over the phone but won't see me because the last time I kind of went off on him because I was drinking and my guard was down. He said everything I said to him was the truth and he doesn't blame me but I always make him feel bad about himself. I was like well shouldn't you work that out if you feel bad about yourself and I make you feel it because it is truly how you feel, does that mean that any other time you are just not dealing with it. I really think he disassociates parts of himself that's why he can think "oh that wasn't the real me" but it is it's all him the good AND bad. I have broke NC on and off the whole time by email/text/phone. Last weekend it was because of this horrible accident I saw on the freeway which happened right behind me and my Dad a big rig hit a motorcyclist and it freaked me out. I was already messed up because the Friday before was the 1yr mark of my Mom passing away. I emailed him about the accident then called him on the phone a day or so later then we started talking. Anyway since it's been a few weeks and we've been talking really well (even though it's just fluff BS talk nothing special) I asked to stop by yesterday and he says he doesn't feel comfortable seeing me yet (again) he says he'd like to keep things "cool" the way they are between us for now. Besides seeing him will probably just take away the pain temporarily and deep down inside I know I want things to just go back to the way they were before all the drama happened and all his poor choices.

It's been 3weeks since I saw him last and it started good we were happy to see each other he made dinner we were having fun laughing listening to music. We were drinking wine at dinner which was a mistake so we were affectionate with each other then out of nowhere he said something that set me off. This led to an argument and truths coming out over his cheating and tears between us. He stormed off then came back, I had apologized for going into the tirade begging him not to leave again and he "said" he forgave me and I stayed the night. But now I know he really didn't forgive me for that because he brought it up after, which obviously I'm guilty of too but on such different levels. Plus I think he just wants to hide the truth just not deal with it and again I think I am guilty of that too. The night started good and ended good but in between according to him was f-cking terrible. A week or so after that we talked on the phone and I wanted to see him again because it was coming up on the anniversary of my Mom passing last year and I was lonely and he said no he doesn't feel comfortable and wanted to be alone. We talked about a bunch of stuff and I even told him I think maybe I should just tell him goodbye for good and this upset him he said he didn't want that. He also slipped up by saying it will be a long time before he can think of me as "just a friend" which was part of why he couldn't see me yet, which meant to me he still has feelings for me or wants to get over thinking of me as a ex-girlfriend? The reason I feel he slipped up is because I could hear in his voice that he regretted saying it like he stumbled over the words and tried to stop them from coming out but it was too late. Maybe he's just lying again. I don't know I over think things.

I am having the worst time letting go. There are so many more details I could go on forever. I just keep coming to the same place where I know I need to stop dragging it out. The last few nights I am so stressed out thinking about things about how I MUST take advice from here and let this go. I think of all the things wrong with my situation and I continue to be mad at myself for wanting him back in my life. I setup an appointment with a counselor which I intended to do a few weeks back but have put off and now I have to wait another couple of weeks because of schedule conflicts. What makes it so hard is I have no support. I live with my brother his girlfriend and their roommate but he works nights and I only see him a few times if at all a week and my good friends live far. I might have to break down and drive 1.5hrs to one of my friends on Sunday because I need to get away but I don't know if she is free yet. It would be so much easier if I had a bunch of single friends in town to lean on. I feel ashamed of myself too so I really feel weird going to my friends on this. They know we split up but not all the ugly details. I am at such a loss right now. So here I am again day 1 of NC and it's miserable.

I know that there are a million books out there with good advice and guideline, but just lately, I noticed a copy of John Gray's 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' on my daughter's bookshelf. I picked it up and read a bit, and the more I read, the more I enjoyed his point of view. Especially, how he himself got the 'message' from his wife one day.

It's in paperback and I would suggest you check it out. I usually don't suggest or endorse any books, but this one is worth reading.

My daughter is going to get married to the father of her child. A man who never wanted to get married again and never wanted children.. Now he can't wait to get back home to his 'family' and thought he'd never ever be happy in his life, so apparently, she did something right. They share a lot of interests and literature, and he even got a book of poetry for her - one where it has tools to create your own quick poetry of your feelings. That really tells a lot about the guy. He's grown up.

As has been already said, TIME is a factor here, just spend it with anything that pleases you and helps you divert your attention from those memories, and also try and just rearrange your furniture and décor so that it's not the same as it was when he was there.. that usually helps a lot. Even get new pillows for the couch or new scented candles for the bathroom and other rooms. Try it, it can't hurt.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted.

http://content.sweetim.com/sim/cpie/emoticons/0002025D.gif (http://www.sweetim.com/s.asp?im=gen&ref=10)

I know that there are a million books out there with good advice and guideline, but just lately, I noticed a copy of John Gray's 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' on my daughter's bookshelf. I picked it up and read a bit, and the more I read, the more I enjoyed his point of view. Especially, how he himself got the 'message' from his wife one day.

It's in paperback and I would suggest you check it out. I usually don't suggest or endorse any books, but this one is worth reading.

My daughter is going to get married to the father of her child. A man who never wanted to get married again and never wanted children.. Now he can't wait to get back home to his 'family' and thought he'd never ever be happy in his life, so apparently, she did something right. They share a lot of interests and literature, and he even got a book of poetry for her - one where it has tools to create your own quick poetry of your feelings. That really tells a lot about the guy. He's grown up.

As has been already said, TIME is a factor here, just spend it with anything that pleases you and helps you divert your attention from those memories, and also try and just rearrange your furniture and decor so that it's not the same as it was when he was there.. that usually helps a lot. Even get new pillows for the couch or new scented candles for the bathroom and other rooms. Try it, it can't hurt.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted.

http://content.sweetim.com/sim/cpie/emoticons/0002025D.gif (http://www.sweetim.com/s.asp?im=gen&ref=10)

Yes I think I'll do that. I've heard of that popular book but never have read it. I have been wanting to go to the bookstore and get some books to occupy myself. Maybe I could get wrapped up in a good book and I love photography so I could start to learn photoshop. Also since I've been driving myself crazy thinking so much I've been looking online at philosophy. I still have a couple of weeks until I get a professional to help me get rid of my demons. So I'll have to dig deep to fill the gaps and "stay busy".

So today I'll try to go to the gym and then go shopping and to the bookstore. Every time I go NC I do go out and do things but it feels so weird being in public places feeling so empty and seeing couples and families together. Hopefully my brother has the night off and maybe we can hang out later. I have the next few days off so this is going to be interesting how well I keep NC. Thanks for your post :D I'll definitely be keeping you posted because this is going to be one of my outlets too. I love roses (I used to keep a garden with them at my old place) plus they remind me of my Mom she loved them too, so LOVE the pic at the end of your post it makes me happy.

Ask yourself this? Why when the only time you could spend time with him you couldn't avoid the one question on your mind no matter what. I know you were consuming alcahol but it will be one thing that will always be on your mind. Even if you two where to get back together, would you ever dismiss that incedent and trust him around other women? I know how hard it is I went through the same thing at the beginning of the year and found myself here on this chat. I will tell you that you can get over this and you will, but you must first be honest with yourself and be true to yourself. I still miss the person I was with. However she is with the person I was told was just a friend still so I wish them the best and move on. It was waaaayyyyy hard let me tell you, but in the end I found myself. Even went through quite a few dates. I was very picky but hey it was my time and what I wanted. That's what was important to me. I now have someone who really cares for me and does prevent me from making some of the same mistakes I made in the last relationship. We are only human, and want to love and be loved. It'll hurt but you'll survive. The thing for me was to finally get mad and told her to leave me alone and I would leave her alone, and I stuck to my guns, as I realized all the truth to everything that was actually going on. However its not to say how you should do it but rather find your own way, and when you seek it out is when you'll find your freedom. Mine was actually going back to church and asking for help...

I am going through what you are going right now. I broke up with my girlfriend a week and a half ago. And because I care so much, and still love her much I can't seem to stick to the No Contact thing. It was to the point I would do good for about 3 or 4 days of No Contact. Then give in and text or call or message her on myspace. But today when I looked on myspace she said that she feels stalked. So that shows that she doesn't care nor wants to work things out and doesn't even understand that the reason why I still contact her even when I shouldn't is because I care about her sooo much, but she doesn't see it like that. But you know what just take a day at a time of No Contact, try hard to keep your mind off the situation, keep yourself busy. When you feel as if you need to contact that person, vent on here as I've done plenty of time and still is. Hope this was helpful. You are not alone.

That really tells a lot about the guy. He's grown up.

She's a lucky girl. I sure wish my guy would have already been grown up when we were together.





As has been already said, TIME is a factor here, just spend it with anything that pleases you and helps you divert your attention from those memories, and also try and just rearrange your furniture and decor so that it's not the same as it was when he was there.. that usually helps a lot. Even get new pillows for the couch or new scented candles for the bathroom and other rooms. Try it, it can't hurt.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted.




I just re-read your post and saw at the end about how my place was when he was there. Well I had to move out of OUR place so everything here is free of him. I packed up our pictures when I moved out and left it in storage so none of that here either. Just stuck with memories and reminders all in my head. That's the hard part to erase.

Ask yourself this? Why when the only time you could spend time with him you couldn't avoid the one question on your mind no matter what. I know you were consuming alcahol but it will be one thing that will always be on your mind. Even if you two where to get back together, would you ever dismiss that incedent and trust him around other women? I know how hard it is I went through the same thing at the beginning of the year and found myself here on this chat. I will tell you that you can get over this and you will, but you must first be honest with yourself and be true to yourself. I still miss the person I was with. However she is with the person I was told was just a friend still so I wish them the best and move on. It was waaaayyyyy hard let me tell ya, but in the end I found myself. Even went through quite a few dates. I was very picky but hey it was my time and what I wanted. That's what was important to me. I now have somone who really cares for me and does prevent me from making some of the same mistakes I made in the last relationship. We are only human, and want to love and be loved. It'll hurt but you'll survive. The thing for me was to finally get mad and told her to leave me alone and I would leave her alone, and I stuck to my guns, as I realized all the truth to everything that was actually going on. However its not to say how you should do it but rather find your own way, and when you seek it out is when you'll find your freedom. Mine was actually going back to church and asking for help......

That's a big reason I'm going to talk to a counselor. I need someone to guide me through this I just can't make rational decisions on my own. You are completely right I will always feel unable to trust him because I know well he is capable of lying. So I keep wondering why I would want to have him in my life. He's not being there for me when I need him and he's still lying to me. I'm afraid of even thinking of getting into another relationship because this has me so messed up. I have a lot of things to work out.

I am going through what you are going right now. I broke up with my girlfriend a week and a half ago. And bc I care so much, and still love her much I can't seem to stick to the No Contact thing. It was to the point I would do good for about 3 or 4 days of No Contact. Then give in and text or call or message her on myspace. But today when I looked on myspace she said that she feels stalked. So that shows that she doesn't care nor wants to work things out and doesnt even understand that the reason why I still contact her even when I shouldn't is bc I care about her sooo much, but she doesn't see it like that. But you know what just take a day at a time of No Contact, try hard to keep your mind off of the situation, keep yourself busy. When you feel as if you need to contact that person, vent on here as I've done plenty of time and still is. Hope this was helpful. You are not alone.
Yes this site is the only place I can let it all out. I am trying to do the NC the right way. I erased all his emails so I don't see his name, I deleted his user login off my computer, I deleted his name/ph# off my favorites on my cell phone. I am trying my hardest not to do the online myspace thing. Every time I do NC that type of checking up online stuff is what always drags me down I think. I felt like if I just look at stuff online but not contact him it was OK but I think out of site out of mind in every way is my only way to go. It is hard though to fight wanting to know what's happening with him. Now I've realized though in my case it is doing me harm no good at all so that has to stop. So after he emailed me back yesterday I haven't replied and don't intend to for a long time. We've been emailing everyday all this week and on the phone about 4days this week. So I'm sure after he told me he didn't feel comfortable seeing me and I just stop all contact he'll understand what's up. If he ever contacts me I'm going to have to ignore it. I really doubt he will come to me though since I am the one who reaches out to him. That's the saddest part of all this.

Love unfortunantly makes even the logical things fly right out the window sometimes... it hurts to picture yourself without them, but as cliché as it you just have to keep on moving. Work on things for yourself... time is the only thing that heals. You will never be fully OK until you let them go and that I know from experience. Writing is good... and so are late night coffee talks with friends. Hang in there :).

Love unfortunantly makes even the logical things fly right out the window sometimes...it hurts to picture yourself without them, but as cliche as it you just have to keep on moving. Work on things for yourself...time is the only thing that heals. You will never be fully ok until you let them go and that I know from experience. Writing is good...and so are late night coffee talks with friends. Hang in there :).


Thanks so much :) I just feel like since we were together for over 5yrs this is going to last for such a long time. I feel like it will take a year or longer before I could think of dating again with all my issues and that seems like such a long time. I've read other people's post and a few months just doesn't cut it for long term relationships that have ended. Somehow they think a few months down the road they are OK again and then BAM the ex somehow rears their ugly head and the downward spiral again. This even happens when they think they have found someone even better for them. It's scary! I just wish it never happened... :mad:

Well I finally made it past 3days with NC. I usually find myself emailing him after the 3rd day and even sometimes after just 1day then it all starts over again. Well yesterday was day 4 of NC and if I make it today it will be 5 days! The last email I sent him mentioned I wanted to stop by to see him and he said he wasn't "comfortable" to see me yet. So I never responded anything since then. I'm having a hard time NOT thinking of him or checking his online stuff but I guess NC is a first step and I'll work on the rest as I go. I wonder what kind of impression I left him with because I was in contact with him for the last few weeks somehow every few days and after the last email just cut it off. I know it's stupid even wondering. We were supposed to be staying friends but it irritated me so much that he said he still wasn't "comfortable" with me.

Well I finally made it past 3days with NC. I usually find myself emailing him after the 3rd day and even sometimes after just 1day then it all starts over again. Well yesterday was day 4 of NC and if I make it today it will be 5 days! The last email I sent him mentioned I wanted to stop by to see him and he said he wasn't "comfortable" to see me yet. So I never responded anything since then. I'm having a hard time NOT thinking of him or checking his online stuff but I guess NC is a first step and I'll work on the rest as I go. I wonder what kind of impression I left him with because I was in contact with him for the last few weeks somehow every few days and after the last email just cut it off. I know it's stupid even wondering. We were supposed to be staying friends but it irritated me so much that he said he still wasn't "comfortable" with me.
Taking a step in the right direction keep going :D. Feel the urge to write or call or email post it here instead. Vent here :)

I am trying my hardest to keep it going. At this time NC is the only thing that makes sense. He has not turned down my efforts at friendship but something doesn't feel right about it so I just went NC. It has more to do with the fact he's not giving me what I want which I'm not used to I finally came to realize. IF he ever emails or anything I'll have to come here and tell you guys so you can talk me out of any response :) I hope I can be as strong and stick to it like you wiked!

How long does it usually take an ex to get bored of what they are doing and come back and test you? It all feels like a test now...

Hola!
I hate to say it, but don't expect him to come back. You need to start moving on with your life, or you will become stuck where you are at. And you have to ask yourself, do you like where you are at right now? Start doing things that you enjoy. Get out there and see the world! He can only have as much of an effect on you as you allow him to.

Here is a link that I went to when I was thinking of trying to win my ex back. It helped me A LOT!

Ways to Get Revenge on an Ex - Associated Content (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/633777/ways_to_get_revenge_on_an_ex.html?cat=41)

Don't be turned off by the title, it's not what you think it is. :)

Just keep the NC going. I know it's tough, but it is so worth it. The experts on here know what they are talking about. Also, start finding the person who you are when you are the happiest. It will take some time to get over, but if you truly start to see the beauty in the world again, the beauty will see you.

I'm sorry this happened to you, but let's put it in the past and focus on the present. Hope you have a great day!!

Hola!
I hate to say it, but don't expect him to come back. You need to start moving on with your life, or you will become stuck where you are at. And you have to ask yourself, do you like where you are at right now? Start doing things that you enjoy. Get out there and see the world! He can only have as much of an effect on you as you allow him to.

Here is a link that I went to when I was thinking of trying to win my ex back. It helped me A LOT!

Ways to Get Revenge on an Ex - Associated Content (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/633777/ways_to_get_revenge_on_an_ex.html?cat=41)

Don't be turned off by the title, it's not what you think it is. :)

Just keep the NC going. I know it's tough, but it is so worth it. The experts on here know what they are talking about. Also, start finding the person who you are when you are the happiest. It will take some time to get over, but if you truly start to see the beauty in the world again, the beauty will see you.

I'm sorry this happened to you, but let's put it in the past and focus on the present. Hope you have a great day!!!

Thanks... I'll check it out. Hope I can keep my head straight at work today. Yesterday a couple of times I thought I was going to lose it. So hard to keep focus sometimes.

I know what you mean. I have to see my ex twice a week with her new boyfriend (the one she cheated on me with). It gets tough sometimes, but you have to keep reminding yourself that there is SO MUCH MORE to life than an EX.

I still think about her... even though she put me through emotional hell, but I have been attempting to take baby steps towards weeding her out of my head. She doesn't deserve to be in my thoughts anymore, that is what I have to realize.

A trick I have been doing is going out for a run in a park. Whenever a thought of her pops into my head, I quickly grab it, and say "no thanks" and begin to take in my surroundings. All the colors, people, animals, sounds, textures, EVERYTHING! It makes you realize that beauty still exists, and cluttering your mind with a cheating EX definitely blocks your attention from such beauty.

What helped me at work and still does because I work real close to where she lives is I literally say to myself "No". No thoughts. Then think of something else even the stupidest thing in the world. Honestly at home I'd go to YouTube and watch a funny video and laugh. It made my days go by easier.

OK get this he just emailed me sending a link to check new songs for this band I like. Here is my dilemma I said I want us to remain friends but I'm going nc due to him not being there when I want him to be read previous post. I want to reply but I won't. Errr! I must make my 5 days complete.

ok get this he just emailed me sending a link to check new songs for this band I like. Here is my dilemma I said I want us to remain friends but I'm going nc due to him not being there when I want him to be read previous post. I want to reply but I won't. Errr! I must make my 5 days complete.

You can do it. Just keep your head level.

We are all humans just like the philsopher Maslow says, we all need love and self assurance. If we don't gain those 6 aspects in life, we tend to run for it. That's probably what your doing, you've grown attached to that person, no matter what they do. You still run after on what you really want.

We are all humans just like the philsopher Maslow says, we all need love and self assurance. If we don't gain those 6 aspects in life, we tend to run for it. That's probably what your doing, you've grown attached to that person, no matter what they do. You still run after on what you really want.

I guess so but I wish I could just keep a level head about everything and feel normal and at peace again without wanting to keep running back. Uughh...

I guess so but I wish I could just keep a level head about everything and feel normal and at peace again without wanting to keep running back. uughh...

In time :)

I guess once I accept the outcome I want is never going to happen I'll get through this. Even if it did end up the way I wanted it I'd probably still end up unhappy. I'm not sure he can change. It is so frustrating feeling this way. I try to be positive and have some clarity then the wave of sorrow comes crashing down on me.

I want to deal with what I feel to work it out and get past it. The last time I talked to him he said he doesn't want to feel the things that make him feel bad.. Isn't that bad? He said he's always worked that way so why would he change now. So I'm like if he just pushes feelings away how does that solve anything. Do you think people like that work things out in their own way without knowing it? So confusing. I kind of know what he means though. I am afraid to talk to about this with the counselor for the appointment I have coming up next Wed. I maybe shouldn't have scheduled it before work because like I said before when it comes to this situation I get really unfocused at work. Plus I'm starting to hate my job more than usual. There is so much negativity and I need more positive things in my life to help get over this. I know talking about this with a counselor is going to bring up all these horrible feelings. So I guess I can relate in a way about not wanting to deal with it. That's why I kept putting it off but I really should have done it a long time ago. So much emotional turmoil... :(

At least you are taking a step in the right direction. I know its hard but we have been in the boat at one point or another (or still are in my case). It will get better if you let it and by talking to a counselor. Keep your head up

At least you are taking a step in the right direction. I know its hard but we have been in the boat at one point or another (or still are in my case). It will get better if you let it and by talking to a counselor. Keep your head up

Thanks wiked... I'm trying to keep my head up. I just think today is a low day for me.

Thanks wiked...I'm trying to keep my head up. I just think today is a low day for me.

Ha I thought I was having a good day until I answered my phone. We all have our ups and down remember it's a roller coaster.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you!!
And your BF is not the one for you! He cheated on you and still contacts her? Man he's a sicko... and not caring for you...
It hurts when you love someone so much and they don't return that love.
I hope you find someone as loving as yourself... soon... then you can put cheater behind you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you!!!
And your BF is not the one for you! He cheated on you and still contacts her? Man hes a sicko...and not caring for you...
It hurts when you love someone so much and they dont return that love.
I hope you find someone as loving as yourself...soon...then you can put cheater behind you.

Me too I just wish I could put it behind me and not feel bad about it. Heh "sicko" I think that sums it up. I just feel crushed because I invested a lot into that relationship and never in a million years thought it would end the way it did.

Cut your losses and do some things for yourself. The hurt will help you grow strong... and eventually the hurt will disappear.. then life has a chance to be beautiful again..