Okay, I have been dating the same person since I was 13 and he was 12. Yes we did break up a few times and the longest was for 8 months which has been over 12 years ago. Anyway we were engaged.. but we never got married... never took the initiative. So recently I became aware of a large phone bill and he said he did not know why is was so high so I called the phone company after counting the minutes on our cell phone. They said that they would send me a detailed account. So I waited for the phone bill and gave him a plenty of chances to tell me something. So the phone bill came and I found around 7 phone calls each day to a particular number and he said that he did not know what the number was so I called it heard a woman's answering machine. So I asked him who this person was and he told me he swore he was just talking to her and had never met her so I went along with this story until the next day the person called and said that she saw my number on her caller ID and was not able to return the phone call until that day. I told her that I had already discussed the situation with my boyfriend and this is when she said that she had been dating him for 8 months. She told me that he told her he just had a roommate. She continued to talk so I walked in the house and put her on speaker so he could hear and just looked at me and smiled. I told her several times that I had to get off the phone she just continued to talk about their "close" relationship. I forgot to mention that we have been together for 18 years. She basically told me that he pursued her and tried to make every effort for her to be with only him. So when I asked him about this after I got off the phone he said that he did not want either of us as his girlfriend and stated she was getting too needy. She is only 18, the same amount of time we have been dating... uggh. Anyway my question is why did he get mad at me for what he called snooping? I really had so much trust in him that I would never of thought that he would do this it just sort of came out this way. He did tell me that he was not in love with me and that he did not feel guilty or regret what he did it was the only way he could get out of our relationship. Looking back I realize that he was saying things like he did not want to have children... although he told her that he would with her. He also starting to act very weird toward me but I thought it was a phase. He blames me for not picking up and going where ever he wanted. He told her that he would follow her where every she went... all of the stuff she told me sounded like him. So how do I go on or should I try to work things out since it has been so long? He made the statement that he would get an apartment and would come by the house every now and then to check on me. He said he still wanted to be friends. So that night I told him to leave which he did but came back the next day to do some things and stated he was staying the night until he could find a place. So I left without telling him where I went he he has not even tried to call... does this mean that he does not care. Can you not care about someone that you have been dating for so long. He did state that he felt that our relationship was like we were room mates and that he just did not love me anymore... is it that easy and how will I get over this.

I'M sorry to tell you this but your boyfriend doesn't care about u. First off he wouldn't treat you like that, second any time a man tells you he doesn't love you an doesn't want kids that's what he means, 18 yrs is a very long time , but hun sometimes people get in a rut an feel safe an they fall out of love but don't want to leave what they know. 18 yrs is a big part of your life an its hard to start over. But sometimes its best to move on an try. Kno one wants to be with someone that doesn't love them. What you an your boyfriend had was friendship. Or like he said a room mate. I bet you didn't have sex a lot only when he wanted to. Sure sighn that he's cheating.hun try to move on it will only be worse if you take him back.

Yeah, I agree with the above post, u need to move on and start a new life without him in the pic, this person doesn't deserve u, 18 years is a long time, long enough for those chemistry and infatuation fade out little by little, its toxic to keep this person who does not enamor u.

Okay, I have been dating the same person since I was 13 and he was 12. Yes we did break up a few times and the longest was for 8 months which has been over 12 years ago. Anyway we were engaged..but we never got married...never took the initiative. So recently I became aware of a large phone bill and he said he did not know why is was so high so I called the phone company after counting the minutes on our cell phone. They said that they would send me a detailed account. So I waited for the phone bill and gave him a plenty of chances to tell me something. So the phone bill came and I found around 7 phone calls each day to a particular number and he said that he did not know what the number was so I called it heard a woman's answering machine. So I asked him who this person was and he told me he swore he was just talking to her and had never met her so i went along with this story until the next day the person called and said that she saw my number on her caller ID and was not able to return the phone call until that day. I told her that I had already discussed the situation with my boyfriend and this is when she said that she had been dating him for 8 months. She told me that he told her he just had a roommate. She continued to talk so I walked in the house and put her on speaker so he could hear and just looked at me and smiled. I told her several times that I had to get off the phone she just continued to talk about their "close" relationship. I forgot to mention that we have been together for 18 years. She basically told me that he pursued her and tried to make every effort for her to be with only him. So when I asked him about this after I got off the phone he said that he did not want either of us as his girlfriend and stated she was getting too needy. She is only 18, the same amount of time we have been dating...uggh. Anyway my question is why did he get mad at me for what he called snooping? I really had so much trust in him that I would never of thought that he would do this it just sort of came out this way. He did tell me that he was not in love with me and that he did not feel guilty or regret what he did it was the only way he could get out of our relationship. Looking back I realize that he was saying things like he did not want to have children...although he told her that he would with her. He also starting to act very weird toward me but I thought it was a phase. He blames me for not picking up and going where ever he wanted. He told her that he would follow her where every she went...all of the stuff she told me sounded like him. So how do I go on or should I try to work things out since it has been so long? He made the statement that he would get an apartment and would come by the house every now and then to check on me. He said he still wanted to be friends. So that night I told him to leave which he did but came back the next day to do some things and stated he was staying the night until he could find a place. So I left without telling him where I went he he has not even tried to call...does this mean that he does not care. Can you not care about someone that you have been dating for so long. He did state that he felt that our relationship was like we were room mates and that he just did not love me anymore...is it that easy and how will I get over this.
Thank you for the advice... and I am trying to move on but it is so hard... my life has been with him since I was 13 and now I am 31. I try to find things that make me happy but they only remind me of him. I just wish that I could understand if people really get over people after they have been together so long or is it that they just need a break. Can you really get over someone and not really want them in their life anymore?